View Full Version : Hey Dad, How My Doin? The Who Dis Team Be? Version

Storm Sutherland
05-12-2010, 01:38 AM
I'm pretty proud of myself for being so busy these past few weeks.

Me and the lady friend got a place together. She has been gossiping with my penis a lot lately. They have some great fireside chats.

Apparently, there's been a basketball series going on. I've been only able to catch bits and pieces of it. Seems the Cavs have only been able to contribute that much to it as well.

So, I don't feel bad. It's hard to care about someone if they don't bother caring.

The Cavs want to lay Easter eggs? Knock yourself out. Panty style.

Don't expect me to shed my snake skin. I'll be too busy trying on new jorts.

A little rundown of what I have seen.

Mike Brown- You take a lot of criticism. And for good reason. You might have a good defensive mind, but not one player on the team listens to what you say.

You're the lenient parent who tries to discipline his kids. The kids know better. They say sorry, and it's off to the ice cream store to buy your kids the finest of ice creams. With sprinkles, the friggin sprinkles sprinkled all ova.

Get a coach that doesn't take crap. When James and Mo continuously run their own plays instead of the one's drawn up. Bench them. Oh My God! Bench LBJ? How could you?

Because no one has. He's been coddled like he's fine china. Open the cabinet and start breaking shit. Dude plays best when he's pissed. Piss him off.

LBJ- He's spoiled us for 7 years. So, when he has 3? bad games, we call him out on it.

You know, love the guy as a player, but don't try and make basketball seem like it's calculus.
And I've seen you do some really dumb stuff for years in tons of games.

Exhibit A: Le-Iso. The ancient art of holding the ball up top, ltting the clock wind down and taking an off balance 20 footer. Run this play often through 3 quarters. In the 4th, go to friggin town. Rest of the team, stand back in awe at how this is actually happening in a professional game.
You're one of the best players in the league. Yes, you may give the most boring interviews known to man. Yes, you might carry a sense of entitlement, yes you might tip awful.

It's time to strip yourself of the jump shooting, aww shucks LBJ.

Time to put on the LBJ knight armor and draw fouls. And stab people with your sword.

Mo- There's a reason we got him for pennies on the dollar. He's not that good. He's no different than he was with the Bucks. Streaky shooter that can't defend and gets emotionally detached from the game.

Give me a guy that can score 12-15 every night, defend and create.
I don't need Paul or Rondo. But, I also don't needa little chicken, head cut off, running around aimlessly. Bashing into things. Giving me the creeps.

Shaq- Hey, someone who's actually trying to win! Taking his game to a playoff level. I thought that was reserved for Boston players.

I was going to run down the rest of the team, but I'm losing interest in my own post.

It's like having to type up an obituary for a dead fish. A fish that isn't even your pet. And you're using DOS.

Has West done anything. I've seen him on the court. It has been depressing. Zing!

Parker- 40 plus minutes a game? Moon hardly gets in the game? I wish we didn't use brains to think. It would save alot of time. And I could store stuff up there. Like odd trinkets and my wallet. Pretty much the stuff that wold normally go in my pocket. Or thingd I'd be forced to hold because my pockets were full.

Thursday- Could this be the end? I hope not. All we have going on is the Indians. I don't know if I'm ready to cheer on Austin Kearns this early in May.

So, fellow fans. Let us dance, let us scream and most importantly. Let us raise a fist in the air.

Because, if we lose Thursday, that fist is going through the fucking TV.

05-12-2010, 01:42 AM
I agree.

05-12-2010, 01:46 AM
Welcome back.

I've been convinced that you are actually "Lebron's Elbow" on Twitter as well. :chuckles:

05-12-2010, 01:51 AM
Storm - the spark the Cavs need for game 6?

05-12-2010, 01:54 AM
This post is why I love RCF. Whenever we're down, there is always someone that brings me up.

Storm Sutherland
05-12-2010, 01:55 AM
I truly believe my absence explains the Cavs woes.

I got to work the phones. Call LBJ. Prank call of course. Just how I roll.

We need to right this ship. They need to be holding the trophy.

Then, they need to give me the trophy so I can wear it around my neck like Flav rocks clocks.

05-12-2010, 02:31 AM
Your last line was epic.

05-12-2010, 02:35 AM
The Cavs must be in a bad way because Storm's post kinda fucking made sense.