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Wait... I have a food allergy?

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Randolphkeys

I'm Just Second-hand Strus
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This is a thread for discovering you have a food allergy... and the unpleasant repercussions.

I've always eaten pineapple. I fucking love pineapple. Usually it came to me in a jar with chunks of it floating in a plastic tub. I worked as a cook for a while in college and used this pre-chopped product all the time in Hawaiian pizzas.

Last Saturday, I threw a great barbecue for my young Thor's birthday. I diced two FRESH pineapples and served them as addendums to the skewers as well as grilled separately for the kids. I've previously heard that some people have adverse reactions to raw pineapple, so I thought I was being careful by serving grilled pineapple to kids. The freshly cut pineapple juice covered my hands and mouth.

I probably started feeling the headaches, fever, and sore throat right after chopping, but I was hosting a big party. I ignored feeling sick and started drinking beers. Six hours passed, and I handled all the raw meat, veggies, and pineapple with my bare hands. I served the cooked product with my trusty grilling tools.

Evidence exists on facebook of what I looked like after touching the pineapple all day... I look like fat early 80s William Shatner with a beard. My body was toxic and bloated. However, my kid was opening presents; I didn't notice.

Sunday I assumed I had a cold and rested up. My wife convinced me to take a bath, which was wonderful. I swear my balls haven't smelled this good in years. I still felt like crap and couldn't eat anything aside from flavorless leftover potato salad and ice cream.

This morning, my hands felt itchy. Then they hurt. Then red spots showed up. Then my entire body felt like a pin cushion. I suddenly remembered my brother-in-law describing why he doesn't eat shrimp. FUCK.

Now I am covered in semi-itchy and semi-stinging hives. It has just traveled from my hands and throat to my entire body. I can barely sleep. THIS SUCKS.



+++Coincidentally, as an aside, I was recently told Thor broke the top fifteen in baby boy names this past year. For clarification: That name is totally white trash for a child. It's like calling your kid Megatron. For the sake of the website, I have a pen name for my kid... he isn't actually Thor. That shit is terrible.
 
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You're a pussy. I'm going to make some Pineapple custard pie and enjoy it all to myself while you break out in hives to the thought of it
 
You're a pussy. I'm going to make some Pineapple custard pie and enjoy it all to myself while you break out in hives to the thought of it

I can eat processed pineapple all day... it's the fresh stuff that my body seems to reject. I'm so pissed at this mortal shell. SO PISSED!!!
 
sometimes when i wake up my hands break out in hives and inflate like mickey mouse hands.

no more glory hole for me.
 
sometimes when i wake up my hands break out in hives and inflate like mickey mouse hands.

no more glory hole for me.

Wait, you consider glory hole food?
 
The milk that comes out of the hose in the wall is food
 
well thast very immature.

id kill for a 12 year old inside me
 
I CANT STOP ITCHING.

Dealt with a reaction to a prescription on Halloween a couple years back, chowed down on grape children's allergy pills and slept for 2 days. I love being sick, anything that can put me in the hospital sounds great to me. But those fucking hives were little bastards. I feel the itch from miles and miles away
 
I have weirded out Bill Walton.

Nothing left to do but retire.
 
Well.. I found out I'm allergic to fresh Kiwi a few years back..:coffee:
 
Have yet to discover a food I'm allergic to. Milk products make me gassy sometimes, but that's it.
 
Have yet to discover a food I'm allergic to. Milk products make me gassy sometimes, but that's it.

Everything makes me gassy... I gave up soda this year, still fart like crazy. Actually was at the gym yesterday and had to stop my workout because I had a bomb knocking at the asshole door. Every time I eat peppers, they come out smelling exactly as they have gone in. I try to keep away from them. Also, if I eat a burger, stay away. It sucks, but it made for some comedic days as a youngster (and occasionally now).

My girlfriend is allergic to: soy, grass (being outside), histamine (alcohol, leftovers, cheese, etc), dogs and I'm just mentioning the major stuff. She can't eat certain fruits and veggies and the list goes on. She basically has to just deal with allergic reactions, her choice is to what degree.
 
Went in to shock a few years back and still have no idea what caused it. The drs think it was a preservative in pineapple topping on a banana split that can sometimes happen. I think I accidentally swallowed one of the ex wife's cats hairs because it was crawling all over me while eating it.

Went in to anylphalactic shock and looked like the dude from the mask. IV of Benadryl and adrenaline is a weird fucking drug combo I hope none of you have to experience.

The rash started at my armpits and groin for some reason. Still have no clue what caused it
 

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