Cleveland Browns (28) at Dallas Cowboys (13): It’s the time of season where the Cowboys perform their annual tease to their hardcore fans, where they look like a legit Super Bowl contender as they mow over inferior opponents in fairly impressive fashion. And Cowboys fans fall for it every year. They go to the strip club and get all hyped up for some hardcore action. At the beginning of the night, much like the onset of November for the Cowboys, everything looks great; the drinks are cold, the women are hot, and the creepy DJ that looks suspiciously like the lead singer of Tesla is spinning some winning tunes.
Then you’ve been there for a while and it starts to sink in that maybe everything isn’t so nice after all. The same over-tattooed girl with bad teeth keeps pestering you for a lap dance, you realize you are paying $11 for each Miller Lite, and you start to notice that most of the fellow patrons haven’t bathed or shaved in days and are a little too excited by seeing a pasty on a woman who intentionally dances in the dark so you can’t tell how ugly she really is, all while hearing Motley Crue’s Girls Girls Girls for the seventh time in the last 90 minutes. Cowboys fans, this is your inevitable December. Don’t get too pumped over this big win. Cowboys 27, Browns 22.