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Dealing with an unwanted divorce as a dude.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information
I don't want to give you false hopes, but if you deal w your issues you never know.


In the other hand, strange is your best friend and savior. On the other side of that, you won't find love if you don't take care of you first.

But by all means, bang strange until then. Works wonders on the whole moving on thing.
 
I'm sorry that you're going through this, and I cannot even imagine how you're feeling.
What I do know is that everyone processes every situation, in their own way. While others give advice, it may not necessarily be the right advice, for you.

We all go through heartache/pain through our lives. I deal with mine by bottling up, I workout, but for the most part, I say nothing. I know that I am afraid of judgement. I try not to think what the other person is thinking/feeling, as that would drive me crazy. I'm aware that my dealings are probably not that healthy. But I journal, and I workout, but I don't verbally speak about it. <-- But this is how I chose to deal with my situation.

My sister is a divorcee and is currently engaged again. This, after she swore she'd never marry again. I guess it's all down to the individual, and their ability to cope and deal with what has hurt them in the past. It just takes time, at your own pace.

But I am wishing you the best.
 
I am not ready to really bang any strange. I do get that it would probably help me move on faster, but I am coming out of wreck. I am putting myself through a process, and hopefully this process will work better than Browns coaches processes. I have relied on my faith to get me through most of this, and I'm not feeling God is pushing me to whore around to get over her. I am focused on today and planning for tomorrow. I am pulling myself up off the floor, and I am gonna live again.
 
God told me if it feels good do it, but everyone's personal relationship w god is different. I actually received a message fr him while praying and all of a sudden my radio turned on and it was R Kelly singing I don't see nothing wrong, with. Little bump and grind.

I'm not sure if it was god or merely R Kelly, but I urinated on a 17 year old just in case.
 
WarAdmiral,

Let me know when it's ok for me to call you names and otherwise lighten the mood in here.
 
Jiglet, I was thinking I gotta chill a bit after my last post. I am in day 4 of opiate withdrawal and it hasn't been fun, and the mental part of that is probably why I posted in the first place. My mind has been pretty cloudy even with a pretty decent wean down.

Light me up.
 
Jiglet, I was thinking I gotta chill a bit after my last post. I am in day 4 of opiate withdrawal and it hasn't been fun, and the mental part of that is probably why I posted in the first place. My mind has been pretty cloudy even with a pretty decent wean down.

Light me up.

When things get really rough, you can always say...

Whenever%20I%20see%20party%20pictures,%20I%20see%20a%20horse%20mask..jpg




Do it. This will change everything. I'm telling you...

http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements...TF8&qid=1360019956&sr=8-1&keywords=horse+mask



















Puss.
 
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Well she just left out of here dressed to kill. Where she works has a problem with their mortgage and her boss and her have to meet a lawyer for dinner. I am like hmmm, I might as well believe her no matter what time she comes home. I would like to know though, it would be easier to go ahead and buy one of those masks. Although Im not sure what the hell to do with it.
 
Well she just left out of here dressed to kill. Where she works has a problem with their mortgage and her boss and her have to meet a lawyer for dinner. I am like hmmm, I might as well believe her no matter what time she comes home. I would like to know though, it would be easier to go ahead and buy one of those masks. Although Im not sure what the hell to do with it.

You already answered your own question. How exactly are the attorney, her boss and her going to respond when a suit-wearing dude in a horse mask sits down at the table beside them and wants to talk?












































But seriously, I'm not advocating stalking her or showing up anywhere that she is. Horrible idea.


The serious answer is, that there are a multitude of things you could do with a horse mask. I know you're not trying to get laid yet, but once chicks get past the sheer confusion of seeing a horsemasked stranger walk up to them and give them a kiss on the cheek, the questions start and the fun begins. I can't actually confirm this, because I'm not single...but I bet real hard that's the case. Think, "What kinds of things would I do in public if nobody knew I was me?" Then buy the horse mask, unwrap it (it smells awful), put it on (seriously, it smells horrible) and hit the streets.




Please report back.
 
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Jiglet, I was thinking I gotta chill a bit after my last post. I am in day 4 of opiate withdrawal and it hasn't been fun, and the mental part of that is probably why I posted in the first place. My mind has been pretty cloudy even with a pretty decent wean down.

Light me up.

Jiglet.
 
I'm going to lay a hard truth on you that you don't want to hear but you need to. If you can't deal with it because of your current issues with getting clean, come back to this post later when you're a little stronger.

Your wife is going to start fucking other dudes. It might not be tonight with her boss, it might not be next week, but eventually she's going to have another man. Shit, I bet there have been guys lined up waiting to take a stab at her and just see this as their opening. I'm sure all sorts of dudes, some I probably even hung out with prior, came out of the woodwork to show interest in my ex once we got separated.

If you guys are truly getting divorced, this is a reality you need to come to grips with. The hardest part, and ill have to deal with this too, is when another man comes in to your kids life.

The best thing you can do is not dwell on it and realize that you will be living separate lives soon. Your best get is to get clean and work on making you happy. It won't be easy on her either when you're slamming some younger piece if ass, but she decided to divorce you.

As I said earlier, she fell in love with you, and there is a possibility that once you get clean and take care of your demons things will work out, but you have to approach life like she's out the door because she's already got one foot out of it.

Get yourself a slam piece and realize you'll have to find live with another woman and it will happen once you find happiness.
 
Support your kids at all times, don't drag them in to the mess, don't bad talk your wife in front of them, make sure they have a solid future, and if another man comes in to their lives understand (if he's a good guy) that it's what's best for them.

You screwed up, but you can make things right, and when your next relation starts ... you'll be a better man for having gone through this.
 
I'm going to lay a hard truth on you that you don't want to hear but you need to. If you can't deal with it because of your current issues with getting clean, come back to this post later when you're a little stronger.

Your wife is going to start fucking other dudes. It might not be tonight with her boss, it might not be next week, but eventually she's going to have another man. Shit, I bet there have been guys lined up waiting to take a stab at her and just see this as their opening. I'm sure all sorts of dudes, some I probably even hung out with prior, came out of the woodwork to show interest in my ex once we got separated.

If you guys are truly getting divorced, this is a reality you need to come to grips with. The hardest part, and ill have to deal with this too, is when another man comes in to your kids life.

The best thing you can do is not dwell on it and realize that you will be living separate lives soon. Your best get is to get clean and work on making you happy. It won't be easy on her either when you're slamming some younger piece if ass, but she decided to divorce you.

As I said earlier, she fell in love with you, and there is a possibility that once you get clean and take care of your demons things will work out, but you have to approach life like she's out the door because she's already got one foot out of it.

Get yourself a slam piece and realize you'll have to find live with another woman and it will happen once you find happiness.

Respect

I hear ya. I was attempting to make light of her leaving tonight. We have been getting along better than we have in years since I quit begging. I went to the Dentist today for the first time in 3 years. I had to tell them I am a recovering addict. I am getting my manhood back. It is coming back a little bit each day. Once I am over this hill, I am quitting smoking. There are just to many ladies out there, that won't give a smoker a look, so they gotta go.

Your are right about the kids. I hate even thinking of it, and really don't think about it. I got to much other on my mind to get done. I got a younger daughter, and I am scared to death of her bringing a bad man into the house after I am gone. She would kill him herself if he hurt her, but man the damage would be done. Ill just have to trust her, I can't control it. That is about the only thing I am sure I could kill for though.

I need a slam piece, but I gotta focus on the demons first. Kill them off and get my head and body straight, than I can see myself put the hammer down.
 
I have a niece, who was married and the marriage didn't work out. Her husband begged her to go to counseling, to save their marriage. I remember she came over and cried to me, because of it, and I couldn't understand her resistance to the idea of counseling, because she seemed so devastated by the thought of getting divorced. I then looked at her, and asked her: "Is there someone else?" Her response was "Yes." ~ She has since given birth to 2 of this other guys kids and is seemingly miserable.

Since I have a daughter, I have already had it in my brain to know that I would never introduce a man (I'm dating) into her life for a long time (I'm thinking a year +). I'd have to be very sure, and comfortable, with allowing a man into my daughter's life/surroundings. I don't get how you have people trying to have a guy/girl in their kids life after the first date. But, I honestly don't see/want to be married, at all. But I respect those who want that, I'm just not on that page.
 
Get yourself physically, mentally and spiritually straight. Be as nice as you can to her along the way no matter how hard it is. If a divorce is inevitable, you need to make it through the preceedings without any major slip-ups...you can't give her any more leverage than she already has. The nicer you are to her the better the chances she doesn't turn on you in court, demand drug tests, full custody, etc. Who the hell knows, conquer your demons and maybe things get salvaged. If they don't, I pray it goes smoothly and you both remain friendly. It's also best for your kids if you and your wife are friends after this is over...it will make things so much less complicated, awkward and painful.

One day at a time. You can do it!
 

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