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The mental health thread

Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Adam

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In case you post here at a time when no one else is posting, there are always resources to contact someone 24/7:

National suicide hotline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Crisis Text Line
Text to 741741

Crisis Online Chat

http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

I'm making this thread as a place for people to talk unload share and support each other in a broader topic than @David. 's excellent sobriety thread.

If you've got something on your mind or have mental health worries you want support or solidarity with please feel free to post here.

I want to start by saying that the most useful advice i ever received is that good mental health is all about having the ability to return to a stable place emotionally after deviating from the normal due to circumstances. Life ain't always happy and it's not always easy and it's perfectly normal to feel bad when you are in a shitty situation.

I hope this is of use to people
 
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@Sir'Dom Pointer seruosuly, you've got couple professionals on the board and ive been studying freelance since before college. Were here to help.

Try marijuana something else for the pain. Are you able to exercise? How is your diet and sleep? Support system?
 
I could use some insight while im here..

High novelty seeking, low conscientiousness, rough childhood, highly neurotic.. I'm not sure I'm able to develop feelings for someone. I was in love for a few months when I was 18.. Since 22, I havent held the feeling of "liking someone", if it were mutual, for literally more than 2 days.

It seems like i built some sort of complex that I know I need to get past.. Any time I'm interested in someone, ill start with the "do I like her? Am I sure? " and nothing at all will happen and 5 minutes later the answer is "no. I'm over it now ".

Ive done a lot of work and research on this.. Looking at childhood trauma, and eve adult trauma, to see if any of that could be causal and if I can potentially fix it. Attachment styles too. None of the doctors ive talked to have found anything salient to look at. Current one suggests mindfulness and to not think too hard and ive overcome a lot and now I just need to learn how to overcome this and retrain my brain.


I cannot stand being alone. Genuinely nihilistic/suicidal when I am. But if I can't be with someone, it looks like that's the way the cookie will crumble. Ive wasted time on people that loved but to whom I wasn't able to return the sentiments, for the past 8 years and its just wasted time and always ends awfully, as youd imagine.
 
Can't find a position comfortable enough to sleep in to put it mildly. Didn't sleep for more than an hour. I was fucking screaming a few times out of frustation.. very loud.
Woke up depressed cause I knew I had to face another day and today I had a new challenge, Physio.

Arrived to Physiotherapy today. Have no range of motion and every movement hurts.
I specifically scheduled for the most experienced PT there who is also the manager, so what aactually happened was that he worked 15 minutes alone with moi and then just left me for 45 minutes alone with electric stimulation and needles stuck to my body. Worst thing is that I can't lie stationary for that long because of my neck, backpain and now eveen that position asucks for mu shoulder, so It wasn't very fun at all.After that he asked one of his pregnant PTs(she was nice enough) to work with me alone while she was chilling on a chair and I was doing exercises that I could have done at home by myself. I expected atleast some assistance to make it easier.

The toughest part is that I have no motivation since the repair had failed. Costs shitload of money without much to gain other than go back to previus surgery state? Yay. Not only that but its such a small part of the equation.

While I was laying on the table I thought to myself, is it too fucking much to just be able to be in supine position without wanting to put a bullet in my head? How tf will I be able to do that for 5 months 3 times a week? They really should get better beds.



Going to the Doctor today to discuss options, but I have no idea what Ib wanna do. Have no idea how i'm going to get there either since my family can't help me.

@David. Answering your questions briefly, my sleep is poor.. regardless of the surgery. I thought about doing a sleep study, but I'm delaying it for now. Pretty sure most of my sleeping problems are related to muscle tension, pain and hormones and not sleep apnea, but you never know.
Can't exercise.. was being a warrior which caused my injuries to become that much worse. Catch 22.
Like everything else my digestive system is also a mess.. I have chronic gastritis, IBS(doctors put that shit on me, but im skeptical) and I believe a bunch of food sensitivities. When I eat certain foods, mainly sugar like Carbs, fructose and such I get terribe brain fog and depression. Literally can't function.


So that'd what I'm able to write for tonight.. that was tough.
Take care all.
 
Can't find a position comfortable enough to sleep in to put it mildly. Didn't sleep for more than an hour. I was fucking screaming a few times out of frustation.. very loud.
Woke up depressed cause I knew I had to face another day and today I had a new challenge, Physio.

Arrived to Physiotherapy today. Have no range of motion and every movement hurts.
I specifically scheduled for the most experienced PT there who is also the manager, so what aactually happened was that he worked 15 minutes alone with moi and then just left me for 45 minutes alone with electric stimulation and needles stuck to my body. Worst thing is that I can't lie stationary for that long because of my neck, backpain and now eveen that position asucks for mu shoulder, so It wasn't very fun at all.After that he asked one of his pregnant PTs(she was nice enough) to work with me alone while she was chilling on a chair and I was doing exercises that I could have done at home by myself. I expected atleast some assistance to make it easier.

The toughest part is that I have no motivation since the repair had failed. Costs shitload of money without much to gain other than go back to previus surgery state? Yay. Not only that but its such a small part of the equation.

While I was laying on the table I thought to myself, is it too fucking much to just be able to be in supine position without wanting to put a bullet in my head? How tf will I be able to do that for 5 months 3 times a week? They really should get better beds.



Going to the Doctor today to discuss options, but I have no idea what Ib wanna do. Have no idea how i'm going to get there either since my family can't help me.

@David. Answering your questions briefly, my sleep is poor.. regardless of the surgery. I thought about doing a sleep study, but I'm delaying it for now. Pretty sure most of my sleeping problems are related to muscle tension, pain and hormones and not sleep apnea, but you never know.
Can't exercise.. was being a warrior which caused my injuries to become that much worse. Catch 22.
Like everything else my digestive system is also a mess.. I have chronic gastritis, IBS(doctors put that shit on me, but im skeptical) and I believe a bunch of food sensitivities. When I eat certain foods, mainly sugar like Carbs, fructose and such I get terribe brain fog and depression. Literally can't function.


So that'd what I'm able to write for tonight.. that was tough.
Take care all.
They're giving you nothing for pain??
 
They're giving you nothing for pain??

I'll ask the Doctor tomorrow, He will probably just give me Coddeine or smth. I hate pain medications.. I have terrible cramps and have to shit frequently. Alsom that grogginess makes me depressed.
Marijuana is probably my best bet , but I need to be a little bit more independant and active so I could fill the paper work and gather the appopriate documents to file a request.
 
I could use some insight while im here..

High novelty seeking, low conscientiousness, rough childhood, highly neurotic.. I'm not sure I'm able to develop feelings for someone. I was in love for a few months when I was 18.. Since 22, I havent held the feeling of "liking someone", if it were mutual, for literally more than 2 days.

It seems like i built some sort of complex that I know I need to get past.. Any time I'm interested in someone, ill start with the "do I like her? Am I sure? " and nothing at all will happen and 5 minutes later the answer is "no. I'm over it now ".

Ive done a lot of work and research on this.. Looking at childhood trauma, and eve adult trauma, to see if any of that could be causal and if I can potentially fix it. Attachment styles too. None of the doctors ive talked to have found anything salient to look at. Current one suggests mindfulness and to not think too hard and ive overcome a lot and now I just need to learn how to overcome this and retrain my brain.


I cannot stand being alone. Genuinely nihilistic/suicidal when I am. But if I can't be with someone, it looks like that's the way the cookie will crumble. Ive wasted time on people that loved but to whom I wasn't able to return the sentiments, for the past 8 years and its just wasted time and always ends awfully, as youd imagine.

This is fascinating Dave. You seem to have high awareness of what's going on. I would be cautious of labels though as they tend to be self fulfilling.

Personally I'm a big proponent of free will and choosing your response and actions above all else. The fact you say you can't make it work seems defeatist in my opinion and just because you have spent 8 years not finding someone who you love completely might mean you are incapable of love or might mean you're just looking in the wrong place both are valid.

I think your current therapist has a great approach with loosening up on the thinking. Sounds like you made huge progress this year
 
This is fascinating Dave. You seem to have high awareness of what's going on. I would be cautious of labels though as they tend to be self fulfilling.

Personally I'm a big proponent of free will and choosing your response and actions above all else. The fact you say you can't make it work seems defeatist in my opinion and just because you have spent 8 years not finding someone who you love completely might mean you are incapable of love or might mean you're just looking in the wrong place both are valid.

I think your current therapist has a great approach with loosening up on the thinking. Sounds like you made huge progress this year

I haven't liked anyone for more than 48 hours in ten years

I'm telling you dude there is some kind of neurological issue or something. I will go from saying "I finally got it!" ten minutes later "it happened again."

I dont know if I'm extrapolating fluctuations of dopamine too far and damning relationships accordingly when there isnt a surpluss.. Thinking about all of this while seeing someone is just exhausting and eventually I just say "I don't care anymore if I actually like her, I need to get rid of this problem" and disconnect.

I'm rejecting these relationships like a liver transplant or something.

Another disconnect.. I just had a great night out with my date. I was fully in the moment the entire. Night. It was meaningful sex, it felt good to kiss her pationately.. But the whole time during, I'm THINKING this isn't completely right.. And I'm laying next to her caressing her as she falls asleep, and the whole time I'm thinking "stop lying to yourself, you know you already chewed this up in your mind, it's done". So now. I'm typing this. In the next room.
 
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I haven't liked anyone for more than 48 hours in ten years

I'm telling you dude there is some kind of neurological issue or something. I will go from saying "I finally got it!" ten minutes later "it happened again."

I dont know if I'm extrapolating fluctuations of dopamine too far and damning relationships accordingly when there isnt a surpluss.. Thinking about all of this while seeing someone is just exhausting and eventually I just say "I don't care anymore if I actually like her, I need to get rid of this problem" and disconnect.

I'm rejecting these relationships like a liver transplant or something.

Another disconnect.. I just had a great night out with my date. I was fully in the moment the entire. Night. It was meaningful sex, it felt good to kiss her pationately.. But the whole time during, I'm THINKING this isn't completely right.. And I'm laying next to her caressing her as she falls asleep, and the whole time I'm thinking "stop lying to yourself, you know you already chewed this up in your mind, it's done". So now. I'm typing this. In the next room.

Wow. how do you know this is just not a defence mechanism protecting yourself from pain and rejection? I think the idea of trying to settle is a real tricky one especially if you sea has plenty of fish in.

Let me ask you a question; if tonight magically all your problems with relationships went away, when you wake up how would you know? what would be the main clues that would make you believe it was all going to be ok? see if you can think of the smallest first thing that would let you know
 
It's crazy how people react to me nowadays. People used to enjoy my company, girls used to smirk and smile around me..
I don't know if that's because I kinda got unattractive or because I just don't smile anymore, but it's killing me.
Men look down on me while they used to respect the hell out of me and I feel women no longer are attracted to me.

I'm currently really slow on Physiotherapy, I struggle a lot and it's costly. toughest thing is that I'm always depressed and it seems that people don't take my cocerns seriously because how I present them or how unhappy or depressed I look.
I bet if someone else was asking the same questions or concerns they would be treated differently. I'm so not used to being like that and it's terrible feeling ugly, disrespectful and weak.
 
It's crazy how people react to me nowadays. People used to enjoy my company, girls used to smirk and smile around me..
I don't know if that's because I kinda got unattractive or because I just don't smile anymore, but it's killing me.
Men look down on me while they used to respect the hell out of me and I feel women no longer are attracted to me.

I'm currently really slow on Physiotherapy, I struggle a lot and it's costly. toughest thing is that I'm always depressed and it seems that people don't take my cocerns seriously because how I present them or how unhappy or depressed I look.
I bet if someone else was asking the same questions or concerns they would be treated differently. I'm so not used to being like that and it's terrible feeling ugly, disrespectful and weak.
Delete facebook and hit the gym. Have @David. inject testosterone in your gooch if needed
 
Professionals-

Anxiety and stress levels through the roof; been waking with headaches that fade almost immediately and stomach issues that feel like a hernia but aren't. Any ties?
 
Delete facebook and hit the gym. Have @David. inject testosterone in your gooch if needed

That's the thing. I can't hit the gym.. I can't workout because both of my shoulders and back is fucked. I'm currently doing intesnive physio and i'm a weakling. Lost every muscle mass I had.
I had a tendency to get skinny if I didn't work out, but my face always made my body irrelevant. When I worked out I was ripped, never really buff, but now I doubt i'll ever work out again and my face is just not even close to what it was. No saving grace here.
 
Professionals-

Anxiety and stress levels through the roof; been waking with headaches that fade almost immediately and stomach issues that feel like a hernia but aren't. Any ties?

Have you checked your sleep? are you overweight?
 

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