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Advice for a first time dad?

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after you select a day care, check up on them once in a while. Show up in the middle of the day unannounced.

Some women are pretty cool post natal, some are typhoon hormonal. Mine was Charles Manson in drag for about 4 months. Just think of her as being occasionally posessed by a demon...

had two awesome sons.. spend time with them young and not in front of the TV, then as they grow get involved with anything they are interested in. Dont forget Mom in the guy moments though.
 
I've had to tell my mother in law, sisters in law and mom all to fuck off at one point or another.

The thing that pisses me off is when someone pulls my kid away from me because I'm doing something wrong or just differently than they would. I don't like that under ANY circumstances, in fact it's one of very few things that will get me legitimately boiling.

So after it happened a couple times, I told the entire family as a group that it doesn't happen anymore. I acknowledged that I will be ignorant about certain things and might even, worst case, put the kid at risk of a mild injury. (like bending his knee in a funky way when putting him in a bouncer or jerking his elbow a little too much when putting it in a shirt). But if that's the case, I want to be told what I'm doing wrong and explained a different way of doing it.

Hasn't happened since and people have been very respectful about that boundary.

I think the key is that hopefully you're lucky enough to be surrounded by people, who when they are annoying, are annoying because they care and are trying to be helpful. Passive aggressiveness is a big time peeve of mine. That's when I'd usually recommend calling the person out, "You're being passive aggressive right now which tells me there's something more serious that you want to get off your chest with me that you're not saying. Please tell me what you're upset about now so this doesn't get worse over time."

I've done that with my wife on multiple ocassions and it's worked fantastically. It's disarming and it's really the only possible win against passive aggressiveness. the hope is it will force the person to either go into full meltdown mode (which you couldn't have prevented in the first place) or it shocks them into helping you both out and saying what's up. Then you can work through the problem with whomever it is and get back to being a team. That can be done with a mother in law as well, unless she's nuts. In which case...your wife is probably nuts too. :chuckle:

I'm lucky in that my wife is far more rational than 99% of women, so when she's being irrational if it's pointed out to her she'll back off of it. If not immediately, then within a few minutes or so. Not everyone is that lucky, so I guess for others you may just have to tolerate it.

So yeah...passive aggressiveness will come up.

And it will likely come up when there's something that creates as much emotion in as many people as a baby does.
 
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My wife seems to remember that the first 3 weeks of breast feeding were really sore then after that just the times when the feeding volumes change or when the frequency drops as it take a couple of days for her body to adjust.
What did surprise me is that afterwards she didnt lose the sensitivity due to feeding, i expected them to lose that but they were just as effective as before we had kids, dont look as good, but work just fine :)

For day care is there any kind of inspection services or report you can access?

As far as people crossing the line i will imagine there will be an event that will put you over the edge and you will deal with the mother in law. In my case the event was my mum turning up unannounced at 8:30 am while i was at work to 'descale the kettle' once it happens my advice would be to use all your classroom management skills in tone of voice and choice of words to put them in their place in a respectful way, because you're going to need them as an asset down the line.
 
The boobs will have a few good days here or there but for the most part she will have soreness all the time. Hopefully she doesn't get breast infections like my wife did. Those seem painful and the boobs are definitely off limits.

Family is great and I recommend utilizing them as much as you can. Don't be afraid to give the baby to a family member even if it's for 15-20 mins. Getting those times even if it's a real short to relax really does help. However; it comes with a price. Having family around will annoy you. They will make comments that piss you off. Everyone has an opinion on the best way to raise a kid. When you need help, ask for help. When you don't need help, like Jigo said, say "I got this."

The vacation idea is a very good one whoever brought that up. We got pregnant 3 months after we got married and didn't go on a vacation alone until our oldest was 5. Our next vacation was a friends wedding and that was when the oldest was 9. Both times they were weekend car trips and both times were cut short. One because of an illness and 1 because of an ill-timed 9 year baseball tournament. Hop a plane or take a drive somewhere for a few days. Enjoy each other, get some time to relax.

I'll also recommend a book for either you or your wife. Happy Sleep Habits Happy Child
http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&ke...vptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_1od8cupr6h_b

My wife lived by this book and it still works today. It teaches the kids to get into a sleeping pattern and also keep a schedule for the kids (eating/playing games/homework/etc). Our kids even today, go to bed without too much fuss and when we put them in bed they stay in bed all night. I have friends that battle with their kids every night and they are up until 10-11pm or mom/dad are crawling in bed with the kids every night to get them to sleep. They are all amazed that my kids are out by 8pm and my wife can hang out together until we go to sleep without interruption. I can't stress the importance of that book enough.
 
Bump

So....the little man decided to come out a few weeks early. We brought him home this afternoon for the first time. We were in the hospital since Tuesday evening around 8:00pm, and he arrived on Wednesday at 4:30(shares a birthday with the city of Cleveland). Mom and baby are healthy and happy.

Couple random thoughts from the last couple days....
-childbirth is terrifying, I felt like my wife was being tortured for 18 hours
-hospital food is awful
-damn happy that I was born with a penis and don't have to go through that
-I'm exhausted
-Cliche to say, but it really is a life changing experience. Everything feels different now
-feel nervous, excited, anxious and terrified

That's all I got for now, just wanted to share the news with the RCF family.
 
Congrats!!!!!!!!!!! A few months after the baby is born and the wife/gf feels safe leaving the baby............... Give the wife a girls night out to go relax and de-stress. She will need it. When you do this the baby will no-doubt decide to cry its brains out for no apparent reason. Nothing you do will stop this insane crying episode. And I mean nothing................You could sell everyone you know souls to Satan, the baby WILL. NOT. STOP. CRYING. When this happens: Make sure the baby has a bottle and a clean diaper. Then leave the baby alone, let him cry it out. He will eventually fall asleep and be just fine when you wake up in the morning. You however will look as if you just survived the Zombie Apocalypse. Trust me this is completely normal and part of the dad ritual all babies put us through.
 
My wife just delivered our first about two weeks ago. She (our baby) is getting the day and night mixed up. I was up last night from 2-4:30 trying to put her back to bed. She just kept her eyes open and wouldn't shut them.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk at your local pub.
 
That reminds me of the good old days

she will get a routine. You just need to try and stick to yours as much as you can without being silly. This is the negotiation period where you decide who is in charge for the next 10 months or so. Have confidence to let her cry for short periods if you know she is fed and clean. There are a number of schools of thought to encourage them to know the difference between day and night and one will work.

Ours uses to be motion, endless rocking on my needs, not swaddled but tightly wrapped. Got a ton of xbox in those days :)
 
I just achieved the Holy Grail.

Took my sleeping 9 month old out of the carseat, into the house, laid him on the changing table, changed his diaper, put on his diaper rash cream, removed his clothes, put on his footie pyjamas and laid him in his crib without waking him up.

I seriously felt like I'd pitched a perfect game.
 

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