Cancer fucking sucks (Prayers/thoughts for my dad)

[Man Called X]

About 2:58 this morning, my Dad passed away. He's no longer in pain. He's with my mom now wherever that may be. Dad I love you and I miss you.

And now we are guaranteed a championship this year. Sorry you couldn't be sitting here watching it with me buddy.

 

[mubb98]

I am so sorry to hear that, you and your Dad are in my prayers. He IS with your Mom. I am also certain that he knows how much that you loved him and that he is very proud of you. Sorry........ (

 

[Frank Reynolds]

Damn X.

You have made an impact on a lot of people on these forums, we can sense that you're a solid dude.

Terribly sorry for your loss man.

I hope the power of prayer from anonymous people can help carry you through, to help you gain a positive perspective, and to help transition all of the life experiences that you have gained from your father; so that you can pass it onto the next generation, because that's all we can really do in this life.

 

[Man Called X]

It's hard. My dad has been my world since my mom passed away. It wasn't until my daughter was born that I didn't do everything with him in mind first.

I started cleaning his room up to sort clothes for the Salvation army and ran across a box that my grandmother on my mom's side sent me a couple years ago. There was a dvd with a couple home movies that showed my mom, and I could hear my dad talking about me. I sound hauntingly like him. I was probably between 1-2 years old. I didn't know those existed, and I watched them. Crying, but feeling better.

I wish I had discovered them when I opened that package the first time. It would've been nice to watch them with Dad to see if they would've helped him heal.

He missed my mom terribly. It's been 18 years since she passed, we've lived in 3 houses since then. I found one of her nightgowns crumped up on the floor near that box. As well as a bag full of her old eyeglasses. In the back of his jeep, there is a cat statue of my mom's. I think he knew he was sick for a while, hence his refusal to see a doctor. I think as he got sicker, he longed to see her more and more.

I'm sorry I let him hurt from mom's death so long, because I let myself hurt for so long.

It's been 3 days since he passed. It hasn't gotten any easier. But watching those movies and finally getting to hear/remember my mom's voice has been a tremendous help. And I don't think I've been happier in my life.

 

[theSTEREO.]

Terrible news X. So sorry to hear about that man. Losing a loved one is the absolute worst. Thoughts are definitely with you.

 

[NarlCavs]

So sorry to hear X. My thoughts are with you. Know how tough this is. Your dad sounded like how my dad was after he got sick and was doing worse. My dad was miserable and wanted to come home but there was no way I could take care of him and he needed to be where he could get the care he needed. My mom went to hospice 6 days before she passed away. I probably waited just a little too long too but it is the place she needed to be.

I know how it is coming across belongings. It is tough and emotional and brings back memories. You can also come across things you had forgotten about. I still have occasional moments and know that will last a while. You've been through this before so know that too.
Hang in there the best you can.

 

[Man Called X]

So sorry to hear X. My thoughts are with you. Know how tough this is. Your dad sounded like how my dad was after he got sick and was doing worse. My dad was miserable and wanted to come home but there was no way I could take care of him and he needed to be where he could get the care he needed. My mom went to hospice 6 days before she passed away. I probably waited just a little too long too but it is the place she needed to be.

I know how it is coming across belongings. It is tough and emotional and brings back memories. You can also come across things you had forgotten about. I still have occasional moments and know that will last a while. You've been through this before so know that too.
Hang in there the best you can.

My dad basically lasted 5 days in Hospice. He went beyond quick. Really thought I was going to have a couple of months, not a month. It's hard because of every else in life that has taken a dump on me at the same time. Family fighting me because of his wishes, lack of work, bills, blah. It's going to hurt for a while, but I'll be okay.

 

[brownindian]

Sorry to hear about it. I can only pray that you get the suport and emotional strength to fight this. Just remember this - If you ever feel guilty thinking that there was something you could have done that would have caused a different outcome - trust me there isn't.

Hope you can piece your life back quickly, I'm sure your parents would want that for you.

 

[The Oi]

My dad died suddenly when I was 11 years old. I remember going through possessions of his in his office. I hadn't cried or really felt much at all for a week or so. He had a note on his desk that he had to go pick up a suit that he'd had altered and schedule a basketball game for my team. That was the thing that finally made me break down.

It got me that it was just a reminder that he had things left to do, regardless of how minor. And that it was in his handwriting got to me too.

Doubt that's going to make you feel better in any sense, just sharing my own experience.

 

[I LOVE YOU ABBY]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss bud.

Cancer fucking sucks, and there's no pain worse than losing a loved one. Here's to you and your family, that you can get through this hard time.

 

[Kyrieville]

So sorry, X.

 

[Deezus]

I'm so sorry.

One of my biggest fears in the entire world is the day when one of my parents passes. My thoughts are with you, X. I can't imagine what you're going through. I know if I were you, I'd turn to the happy little face of my daughter to lift my spirits. As always, reach out to us @ RCF if you need any encouragement or to just vent.

 

[honneyStewEww]

So Monday I woke up a bit early, said hello to my dad and decided to lay back down. Around 11:30 heard Dad having some sort of trouble and I came out to find him struggling to breathe. Call the squad, get him to the ER, everything's good. They were thinking congestive heart failure and he'd be released in a couple days after talking to a cardiologist. A few hours later, he has a pretty big seizure, loses his ability to talk, his left arm wouldn't stop spasming. They think stroke, so they do that video conference with the Cleveland Clinic, and they say yeah, get him up here. So he's medflighted monday night up there.

had to do MRIs, full CT-Scans etc. As of last night when I went to bed, I was hearing nothing but good things...

Got a call from the practicioner today. There's a mass on his brain and some in his lungs. First guess is that it's lung cancer that's metasised *sp?* and spread to the brain. Only good news I got today was that he was stable enough to get moved out of ICU, but there weren't any beds open at the moment. Hopefully he'll get moved tonight. They've got to a biopsy so they can figure out what they are dealing with and where to go from there.

I'm really just making this thread because I'm terrified, I'm lost, I'm hurting, and I don't know what to do. I don't have a lot of outlets to vent, and RCF has been like an extended family to me for a while.

If you read this thread, just keep him in your thoughts. That's all I ask.

I'm probably not going to be around much for a while. Gonna have way too much to deal with in the coming days/weeks/months.
gaming cheats

Ye cancer. Most people have to deal with it sooner or later.

Best you can do is pray... but then if you really are a christian, then death should be a blessing to you. - So prying might not be the right thing after all.

 

[Chris]

I'm so sorry X.

I know it doesn't mean much of anything, but thoughts and prayers are with you as always. Trying to think of something unique and profound to say but I just can't. Love you buddy.

 

[mubb98]

My dad basically lasted 5 days in Hospice. He went beyond quick. Really thought I was going to have a couple of months, not a month. It's hard because of every else in life that has taken a dump on me at the same time. Family fighting me because of his wishes, lack of work, bills, blah. It's going to hurt for a while, but I'll be okay.

Hi X.... In some ways it was "better" that it happened that quick (maybe a poor choice of words but I hope you know what I mean?). In other ways it hurts more since you thought you had some time to share with your Dad. You'll be okay, life is full of ups and downs and unfortunately you are at a very low point. Hell, they don't get that much lower....but remember that this low point won't last forever. Stick to your guns on your Dad's wishes and don't worry about the other BS. This is a cold reminder to all of us on what is really important in life so thanks for sharing it with us. Deezus hit the nail on the head, turn to your daughter. She needs you more then ever and vice versa.

Better days are coming so hang in there Dude and remember that your Dad was proud of the man that you became.
Take Care-