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Career and Life Help

Do Not Sell My Personal Information

DJTJ

3 ball... got it!
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So I'm 22, a recent college graduate, who took a job offered to me by a family friend and relocated to a new city where I knew no one. I've been here for six months, and the overwhelming amounts of depression have caused me to basically abandon everything I liked to do.

I've tried to make friends. I've tried to get actively involved. I'm literally at the point with work that I'd rather just be dirt poor than constantly live in a fear of being fired, or that I work 11 hour days because of constant changes in my job (i've basically taken on three roles) while I watch others show up late, and leave early. My job makes me absolutely loathe waking up.

My parents, who used to be very, very difficult to deal with, have kind of taken a complete different approach. They're very supportive. They want me to be happy. The issue is, they're moving to, and I know it would crush my mom for me to move back as she moves away.

Idk what to do. I don't know how to leave my job if I find another. I don't even know if I can afford to move. Help. Someone. Please.
 
Patience, make bank and save your money. Your older self who knows what to do with it will be so glad. It's more depressing when you hit 30 and realize how much money you wasted on dumb shit in your 20's. Fun stuff will come in time. If you stick with the job and gain experience for the next 10 years you'll never worry about a job again.

Hang in there. Sometimes I try to picture myself like a caveman. Did I do work today? Yes. Did I eat? Yes. What more do I need. Then the fun stuff comes around and you have cash and you can take time off.
 
Find some weed, smoke it, and slowly realize it'll be OK.

Take 1 day at a time. Nothing is permanent.
 
This really makes me excited to graduate college.
 
What are the specifics? Are you from the Cleveland area? Where are you living now? What is your degree in, and what business are you in? Do you have any money saved?

What is your support network like? If your parents historically have been difficult to rely on, that will resume quickly if you return. Those issues aren't solved with a bit of absence. Do you keep in touch with old friends or roommates? Could you find a place to crash for a couple of months while you get back on your feet?

Tell us where you're at...
 
I'd spend time looking for a new job and really looking at what you want to do. Spend less than you make. A little cushion is never bad, and a guy with a job is a lot more employable than a guy that doesn't have one.

I have been under or unemployed before and it has its own inertia where you fall into bad habits and you end up hating yourself for it/feeling guilty. Staying busy is better, especially when you are working towards goals. Set some goals like: find new job so I can quit this one.

I have also moved to new cities more than once. Some people are not cut out for it. Adulthood has less opportunity for making friends sometimes, and as you get closer to 30 it gets harder because people have families and don't hang out much.
 
What are the specifics? Are you from the Cleveland area? Where are you living now? What is your degree in, and what business are you in? Do you have any money saved?

What is your support network like? If your parents historically have been difficult to rely on, that will resume quickly if you return. Those issues aren't solved with a bit of absence. Do you keep in touch with old friends or roommates? Could you find a place to crash for a couple of months while you get back on your feet?

Tell us where you're at...

Originally from the Cleveland area. Am a finance major working as a unregistered rep for a small firm in Florida. By the end of the year, I'll have nearly 6k saved, which covers around 3/4 months of a car payment (335 a month), the amount necessary to get out of my lease, and the money to move back. I also have no outstanding debt and a large chunk of money in a cd that'll help on a down payment for a house down the line.

My support network is large with my friends back home. I have an aunt who's probably hire me again as a temp until I can get a permanent job in Cleveland.

Being here just does not seem remotely safe for my mental health, and given the fam friend as a boss situation, it's probably not an easily accepted explanation on his head considering a large amount of my dismay revolves around undue stress from work.
 
Originally from the Cleveland area. Am a finance major working as a unregistered rep for a small firm in Florida. By the end of the year, I'll have nearly 6k saved, which covers around 3/4 months of a car payment (335 a month), the amount necessary to get out of my lease, and the money to move back. I also have no outstanding debt and a large chunk of money in a cd that'll help on a down payment for a house down the line.

My support network is large with my friends back home. I have an aunt who's probably hire me again as a temp until I can get a permanent job in Cleveland.

Being here just does not seem remotely safe for my mental health, and given the fam friend as a boss situation, it's probably not an easily accepted explanation on his head considering a large amount of my dismay revolves around undue stress from work.

If that's your situation, I'm not sure what you are looking for here. If the job sucks and you have the means to hole up for a couple months, then get out. If you can tolerate it long enough to make a smoother departure, start applying for jobs in Cleveland or the area you'd like to move now, and offer to Skype in for an interview. Explain your situation, reasonable employers will work with you. If you have a nest egg saved up and you can live rent free for a few months though, then take the plunge. There's plenty of not shitty work out there.

Unwarranted life advice based on your original post: No matter where you go or whom you work for, there will be people who cut corners, or get away with coming in late/ leaving early. If you worry about how other people go about their business, it will only upset you. Don't worry about it, take care of your business, earn your check, and let the managers deal with their employees however they see fit.

EDIT: And don't worry about the fam friend thing. On your way out, write a letter thanking him/ her for the opportunity, and express thanks for the experience provided. Explain you simply missed home and friends, and you felt the call to go back. There shouldn't be any hard feelings.
 
If it will help, here shortly I can post pictures of me digging my car out of a 3 foot snow bank compliments of Mr. Snow Plow Man once a week while you're walking around outside in shorts.
 
As others have stated, your happiness is most important...stick it out with your job while trying to find a new one, if you can manage. Move back home if it makes you happy. Don't stick around a job/city you hate because you are afraid of offending a family friend.

If it helps, employers may fly you back home for interviews.
 
Originally from the Cleveland area. Am a finance major working as a unregistered rep for a small firm in Florida. By the end of the year, I'll have nearly 6k saved, which covers around 3/4 months of a car payment (335 a month), the amount necessary to get out of my lease, and the money to move back. I also have no outstanding debt and a large chunk of money in a cd that'll help on a down payment for a house down the line.

My support network is large with my friends back home. I have an aunt who's probably hire me again as a temp until I can get a permanent job in Cleveland.

Being here just does not seem remotely safe for my mental health, and given the fam friend as a boss situation, it's probably not an easily accepted explanation on his head considering a large amount of my dismay revolves around undue stress from work.
Bro. Good idea reaching out. You have to take some initiative. This is growing up: no more clearly defined school tasks that end with the praise of a grade. Don't worry: this whole experience is helping shape you into an adult. Now we have to figure out what you will do to look back on this and be proud. I will take a stab, but the specifics are up to you:

Call parents. Say "I am thinking about moving back to Cleveland and one of the reasons this is hard is bc I don't want this to hurt you now that you are moving..."

If you are working essentially 3 jobs at work, then this family friend is either oblivious, taking advantage of you, or wired differently (such that he doesn't see anything wrong bc he would have no problems doing it, for example). Either way, he needs to hear about it. Challenge yourself to speak with him about it. That's tough, but necessary. If you are doing 3 jobs, then he should want you to stay. It's also not dickish to leave, but it IS dickish to leave without giving the firm a little time to figure out who is going to do your jobs. So meet and tell him that, as things stand now, they are not ok.

Don't worry about the $. You have plenty. Just aggressively pinch pennies when you are back until you find the right job. If possible w your aunt, try to work MTThFS, so that Wednesday from 8-5 can be job searching, interviewing, etc.

Lots of wild guesses by me in here. You got this dude. Just develop a battle plan on the important fronts and visualize the end game (Cleveland summer bbq with friends at a job doing ? with friends to chill with) and build out the small steps that make big steps.
 
Bro. Good idea reaching out. You have to take some initiative. This is growing up: no more clearly defined school tasks that end with the praise of a grade. Don't worry: this whole experience is helping shape you into an adult. Now we have to figure out what you will do to look back on this and be proud. I will take a stab, but the specifics are up to you:

Call parents. Say "I am thinking about moving back to Cleveland and one of the reasons this is hard is bc I don't want this to hurt you now that you are moving..."

If you are working essentially 3 jobs at work, then this family friend is either oblivious, taking advantage of you, or wired differently (such that he doesn't see anything wrong bc he would have no problems doing it, for example). Either way, he needs to hear about it. Challenge yourself to speak with him about it. That's tough, but necessary. If you are doing 3 jobs, then he should want you to stay. It's also not dickish to leave, but it IS dickish to leave without giving the firm a little time to figure out who is going to do your jobs. So meet and tell him that, as things stand now, they are not ok.

Don't worry about the $. You have plenty. Just aggressively pinch pennies when you are back until you find the right job. If possible w your aunt, try to work MTThFS, so that Wednesday from 8-5 can be job searching, interviewing, etc.

Lots of wild guesses by me in here. You got this dude. Just develop a battle plan on the important fronts and visualize the end game (Cleveland summer bbq with friends at a job doing ? with friends to chill with) and build out the small steps that make big steps.

It's been established twice now that I'm in over my head, and the only response I get is "I used to have to work 20 hour days" and "Well, her (the girl I actually split one of the jobs with) work is more important so help her. Idk what your social life is like, but you're gunna have to stay late." He even went as far as to have a screaming death match with the other girl, who's also thinking about leaving, where he said that "He won't leave. He's never going to leave." So it seems like he thinks he can treat me like absolute shit, and I'll stick around. He's essentially unapproachable about any of this, which only builds to the stress, and for working here for six months, I've learned nothing that made my resume stronger because the business model is so antiquated.

Appreciate the posts, guys! Even you Huber.
 
You say your degree is in finance. What do you do now and what are you looking to do? Also, where is your degree from?
 
I say work through your current lease and move back. You are still young enough that it won't be strange. Start looking for a job in Cle or Ohio now. Just focus on saving money and job searching. Give yourself a definite day to move back too so you have a goal to work towards.
 
It's been established twice now that I'm in over my head, and the only response I get is "I used to have to work 20 hour days" and "Well, her (the girl I actually split one of the jobs with) work is more important so help her. Idk what your social life is like, but you're gunna have to stay late." He even went as far as to have a screaming death match with the other girl, who's also thinking about leaving, where he said that "He won't leave. He's never going to leave." So it seems like he thinks he can treat me like absolute shit, and I'll stick around. He's essentially unapproachable about any of this, which only builds to the stress, and for working here for six months, I've learned nothing that made my resume stronger because the business model is so antiquated.

Appreciate the posts, guys! Even you Huber.
Sounds like a terrible boss. That isn't on you.
 

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