Chris Parker/Cleveland Scene answers your questions

[Joe Henderson]

Chris asked me to post his new piece today, so enjoy:

http://www.clevescene.com/scene-and...ight-to-the-warriors-after-sweeping-the-hawks

Awesome, great piece. I like the smooth transitions between the sections of the excellent-as-usual analysis.

 

[Joe Henderson]

Fantastic article chris, but man your editor needs to actually edit this. Got cavs and warrior confused at the end

Yup. Also spotted a word echo a few graphs up.

 

[gaitano]

Another great article by Chris. My one nit is that "Aragorn's army of the dead" reminded me more of the scrubbing bubbles toilet cleaner commercial.

So Chris and his cadre have to "submit our credentials to the NBA, who decides coverage for the Finals as opposed to the home teams who handle the playoffs until now. Cross your fingers, because a verdict’s still pending, but we’re hoping to be covering the series ..." Should RCF bombard the NBA with calls and letters? Maybe someone can start an online petition?

 

[Chris Parker]

Another great article by Chris. My one nit is that "Aragorn's army of the dead" reminded me more of the scrubbing bubbles toilet cleaner commercial.

So Chris and his cadre have to "submit our credentials to the NBA, who decides coverage for the Finals as opposed to the home teams who handle the playoffs until now. Cross your fingers, because a verdict’s still pending, but we’re hoping to be covering the series ..." Should RCF bombard the NBA with calls and letters? Maybe someone can start an online petition?

I probably could've gotten more eloquent on that, but I was trying to sub-reference as many cool things as I could in like 700 words. I love that scene because as a writer it's the world's biggest Deus EX Machina. Like when Doc comes up with a serum at the last moment or in a last gasp attempt they eject the warp core just when the other dude fires and blows himself up. "Wow. that wrapped up neatly." So you have this horrible army of evil that has stormed the castle and vanquished all your heroic warriors but one. Well, what can one man do? Why he can bring an army of ghosts and immediately wipes out every evil living thing without a fight or any chance of survival. Awfully convenient. Oh and they say, we'll never do this again, so don't come back to this well, before they leave.

I mean for all the buildup in the battle for Gondor, the resolution always felt a tad cheap to me. Unfightable ghosts? that's the best you could do?

I think the NBA wants respect and we should give it. However, I have a - at least big for me -- announcement if I get credentials. I don't want to say anything until it happens though my wife, of course announced it on her facebook though I don't have the credentials yet. I am a tad superstitious. I am a Red Sox fan and I feared leaving the couch in case a grounder went thru Buckners legs when I stood. That's part of what makes me love Cleveland so much. I recognize the misery. Indeed when I started this season, I put a post of Fever Pitch on my wall, hoping to channel that magic. I'm actually worried I might've jinxed things by even mentioning it. Oh well. Blame me if something bad happens.

I was wondering, just idly as I drove, do they appreciate Nguyen Ngoc Loan more than the sphincter. I was looking at it and in the right light, it looks like a before (me) and after (Vardon corners me in a dark alley) photo.

also, as I unwind from the long drive, I wonder, are we bullying Lil Joe and should we feel guilty?

 

[Chris Parker]

Fantastic article chris, but man your editor needs to actually edit this. Got cavs and warrior confused at the end

It's my responsibility not his really. Blogs are meant to be posted more than edited and I should give him better copy but its the weak part of my game, my left hand if you will, and after wearing out my right for 4 hours, I go to the editing brain (there really are two sides, creative/imagine, order/edit) and pretty wiped and editing brain goes "What? You let creative do all the cocaine again and all I get are baby laxatives? FUCK YOU Chris."

I need to pick it up and I'll keep trying. I think I've cut down on the typos. No excuses, because this is an ongoing issue, but this every other day playoff schedule even with travel days and the games & pressers all go to 12:30 or 1am, well, that's tough, and I don't even have it as bad as the beats who have deadlines. Of course, they aren't writing 3K words either. Potato potatoe.

 

[Adam]

I get it. You also seem to be the only local guy who actually breaks down film, that takes a lot of time. For what it's worth you're doing a great job, sorry to nitpick.

By the way love the sig

 

[enigmatic]

And the biggest thing why Chris is head and shoulders above the other beat writers more than anything else really is the fact that not only does he break down the film in an easy to understand way, but actually knows what the hell he's talking about when he does it. The truth telling in regards to Blatt and the whole beat writers as frat clique/gossip columnists is just the cherry on top.

And again if these guys are reading, I don't agree w/ everything Chris writes; hell, I don't agree w/ everything "I" write sometimes after I post here. I'm not perfect and either is he, and I'm sure he'd be the first to say the same.

But the one thing he is doing that the others aren't is writing w/ an agenda or a preconcieved narrative. That's the difference. There aren't many like that in the local beat pool because it's apparently so insular so when it's obvious, it's beyond refreshing, it's almost cathartic.

I get it. You also seem to be the only local guy who actually breaks down film, that takes a lot of time. For what it's worth you're doing a great job, sorry to nitpick.

By the way love the sig

 

[NN1]

is there a shoot around today?

 

[Adam]

is there a shoot around today?

Blatts press interview is up on cavs.com now

 

[Chris Parker]

Blatts press interview is up on cavs.com now

I asked about the staff, was told great question that would take too long to answer, I suppose that's better than "you're a writer, why don't you come up with some adjectives" but not much [*wink*]

 

[tocov]

Great question, Chris. Would love to hear him answer it.
But yeah, it is probably a very long and elaborate answer.

 

[Chris Parker]

when/if I get a sitdown we'll talk about it. I watched as Joe Vardon asked him to have a breakfast conversation and got shot down worse than Tom Arnold at a singles bar....


... then again Vardon's no fighter pilot.

 

[teamballer]

when/if I get a sitdown we'll talk about it. I watched as Joe Vardon asked him to have a breakfast conversation and got shot down worse than Tom Arnold at a singles bar....


... then again Vardon's no fighter pilot.

Ha, what did Blatt say to him?

 

[Chris Parker]

Ha, what did Blatt say to him?

Vardon didn't just ask for a sitdown but immediately suggested they could talk about the family he left at home. Talk about the too quick reach for the breast!

Blatt explained that he said that in the moment and really doesn't want to talk about his personal life with the paper in the most gracious manner imaginable.

... then I jumped in and asked about beating his dad at basketball something I've been trying to ask all the players slowly the last few weeks.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Vardon didn't just ask for a sitdown but immediately suggested they could talk about the family he left at home. Talk about the too quick reach for the breast!

I wonder how Blatt might have reacted if one of those self-centered douches who were constantly trying to score points on him would have thought about Blatt leaving his family before Blatt mentioned it. You know, as if they actually thought of him as a human being at some point.