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Drug addiction/sobriety

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by David., Jul 31, 2016.

  1. David.

    David. Radical Centrist

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    I've been drying out/changing circumstances of my life for the past month now, with three weeks of next to no use of pharmaceuticals and two straight weeks with absolutely no damaging events stemming from drug usage in a row.

    No one talks abput it here. Maybe I'm the only one, but that'd be hard to believe.

    Anyways, maybe this thread lives, our dies. If it does I'll just turn it into a journal thread.

    I've had to isolate myself a bit after absolutely losing my fucking shit on about everyone I know, and in attempts to balance out seeing as I've been high a lot of the time for a couple years. I've looked at a lot of stuff from self improvement, to documentaries on happiness, to docs on prison inmates who have bettered themselves through incarceration, gotten out and lived Normal productive lives.

    There's a lot of interesting stuff out there. Something that kinda scares me is that there aren't many success stories about people conquering the world after drug issues. My dad calmed the fuck down and lives a slower life since he kicked alcohol and most people I've come across seem like wounded birds.

    There are a few though that didn't suffocate their flame in precautionary measure and done great things.. Russel brand surprisingly has come as a big inspiration. Oprah also used crack in the past, but I think it was more a hobby than a problem.
     
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  2. The Oi

    The Oi Ahhhh chachachacha

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    Would love to see you be successful with this. And I think all of us know you could be.





















































    Pussy.











    No, but seriously. Do it.

    I love it.
     
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  3. David.

    David. Radical Centrist

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    It's as simple as finding a new career/job.

    Which means it is and isn't. But I literally just need a different job and there's zero problem
     
  4. Lee

    Lee Gold Star Member

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    What do you do for a living that you need a new job?

    When i bartended i saw many need to leave to clean up and a few that didnt leave and lose their life to addiction.

    Good for you for cleaning up.
     
  5. AZ_

    AZ_ Hall-of-Famer

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    Dancing with sobriety as the Browns are set to begin another season is always a dangerous game, but I truly do wish you the best of luck.
     
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  6. David.

    David. Radical Centrist

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    I drive around for twelve hours at a time at the rate of 7 strangers an hour.

    Adderal makes them interesting and tolerable, and music in between rides the greatest thing you've ever experienced.

    I'm a class away from an accounting degree, meaning I can work immediately in the field, and have a great idea for a startup with little cost, and roughly 30k.

    The good thing is I make enough money to still be in the green every month, and keep the nest egg, but.. It's a deep issue and lots goes with it. Getting a new career eliminates blackout weekends which makes a normal person week possible.

    Almost there.
     
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  7. Zog

    Zog Formerly Northstar. The Block, The Shot, The Stop

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    I never have been addicted to drugs and haven't ever done anything but weed...

    Right now I am on some drugs for an awful sinus infection (head felt like it was about to explode) as well as inflammation of tissue surrounding the heart. I can't wait to get off, they make me feel tired all the time. Luckily, I should be off both in less than two weeks, and they do seem to be working as designed. I've never taken so many pills in my life though.

    As far as alcohol goes, I've seriously calmed down in the last 9 months. I used to binge drink like a madman every Friday/Saturday until it started affecting my peripheral nerves (tingling in hands/feet after drinking), which gave me good reason to slow down. Now I'll have just a couple drinks when I go out and be entertained by everyone else who's doing crazy shit while blacked out, and my nerves are back to normal. Plus, it's a lot cheaper.

    Accounting is a good field. Have you thought about ever pursuing a CPA?
     
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  8. The Oi

    The Oi Ahhhh chachachacha

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    I'm not an addiction counselor.

    But my understanding is that it's more than a new career. I thought the greatest chance of recovery was going to an actual recovery center and understanding the addiction. The genetic predisposition and psychology leading to the behaviors.

    More internal than external.

    Are you considering going in that direction?
     
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  9. Nicky

    Nicky Swayze

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    You need to go to meetings/ find a sponsor. It takes time. This is a drastic change, if you're serious. Cutting off people who are a bad influence, etc. Dating isn't an option if this is the route you take. Know what triggers set you off.

    Go to a meeting and just listen to others talk. I commend you on bringing this up, as I'm sure a number of us knew there was something going on with you for the last few years.

    "One day at a time."
     
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  10. David.

    David. Radical Centrist

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    It's basically an escape. I'm a utility user.. Never use anything just to get high, the drug had a purpose.. To get through work.

    It makes you superhuman though, and I had some good times. Coming down makes the other four days of the week abnormal.. Subpar.. So issues that arise are compensated by everything that work and using fix.

    Which makes normal week hard. Which makes you go hard on the weekend. It's a cycle, but to simplify it as much as possible, during the week I'm working on finishing school and making the next steps to completely be rid of my job and providing myself with cures to the pain points I at some point started believing were only cures by getting high and working (pain points being willing to interact with other people and actually bond with them, and make money.. I was infinitely more in touch with other people before I started taking copious amounts of drugs and made more money too..

    Fixing the core of the problem is, actually, tearing down the belief system that my base level is never wanting to engage with people and that the only way to make good money was to drive.. I only didn't want to talk to people because I was coming down off of essentially meth, and it's a pretty hard come down, and I have eight years experience as a top salesman and an accounting degree and two or three the successful entrepreneurial endeavors so the money is abundantly in several other places

    Rather than relying on making 50-100 new AMAZING but temporary as fuck friends and meeting one or two girls on the weekend that I wouldn't even remember by Monday and being so aggressive and combative and needy with actual people I knew and eventually losing them because of my behavior, I have to be a real person and make real relationships while I'm sober and find a career I don't have to blackout to endure
     
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  11. David.

    David. Radical Centrist

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    I've been to a meeting.. It wad incredibly therapeutic but I'd feel like a liar if I went to another one before I found a new job because realistically I can't get through a workday without taking half an adderall. It's obviously less than the five I used to take but I would still be a Marla singer.

    Yes. Dating is not an option. Last girl set off the last downfall. I'm just trying to be.. Even keeled. Which is terrifyingly boring, but necessary.
     
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  12. David.

    David. Radical Centrist

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    Here's the immediate rub

    I'm not. Not. A 9-5er which means accounting is an awful choice.

    I am giving up freedom to spend my life in a cubicle, to work for other people, and be on their strict schedule that takes up a majority of my waking moments. I've managed to be self sufficient for.. I think it's been five years since my last sales job I couldn't finagle to be work from home

    Big rub.

    But that's only one option and I can find something in my field that is more in line with me if I try, I'm sure
     
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  13. Zog

    Zog Formerly Northstar. The Block, The Shot, The Stop

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    CPA if you're up to it would allow you freedom to work when you want where you want theoretically. Of course if the idea you have for the startup works out then no need to worry about the CPA.
     
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  14. The Oi

    The Oi Ahhhh chachachacha

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    I'll say what I think some others are thinking and that's why this thread just jammed up without any replies for a while.

    And then I'm going to leave it to you to do what's best for you, because I'd REALLY like to see you be healthy. I'd say this by PM, but you've said you don't read them so I'm saying it here.

    I feel like I just read a shitload of excuses from you for why you aren't getting help in the traditional way that others have succeeded in beating addiction. Maybe because it's harder or because of pride or whatever. I don't know because I'm not an addict and I'm not an expert in the topic.

    In any case, seriously...good luck. I do mean that.
     
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  15. Soda

    Soda Listen To The Kids!

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    The only thing I caution with your idea of going towards a CPA is to not allow your career dictate your use/lack thereof. Harder said than done, I understand.

    Being a CPA is a very stressful job and one where I see plenty of friends burn-out after long days filled with adderall and long nights boozing after the rush of tax season.

    It sounds like you're not really at the point where you're ready to go to meetings or whatnot, so what about the idea of just going to a therapist one-on-one?
     
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