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Gary Barnidge

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NtG said:
Gary did an interview with Bull and Fox on 92.3 today, some points:

-Said the TMZ report is completely false, but what isn't false is that after practice he removes rust off of worn down metal surfaces around the facility.
-On his latest performance, he said "Stats don't matter if you don't win" he equated it to his days as a milk man, saying "You know, it's great to deliver a large volume of milk to the neighborhood, but all of that volume doesn't matter if the milk is spoiled."
-Talked about installing plumbing systems in third world countries during his down time while running American Football Without Barriers. Said it's tough to get through customs while carrying so many toolboxes.
-When asked about the poor running game he said other teams are stacking the box against them because they don't respect their passing game which makes it more difficult to run, but they're making them pay for it. Also mentioned his good friend Laura who helped him stack boxes of non-perishable food items this off-season to be given to the less fortunate.
-He talked about how he takes fans out for movie nights, last night they saw The Martian which he gave a thumbs up. Also gave a thumbs up to electric arc furnace steel-making.
-Said if you see the movie then you should read the book (he recommended reading it before seeing the movie) as it gives you the details on how Matt Damon did the things he did. "Yeah, I definitely recommend reading the book before seeing the movie, it gives so many details. Even more details than the schematics for the electrical systems I fixed up at Williams dental over the summer"
-He can give you advice on how to properly sweep your chimney, but claims to have no knowledge on the Dwayne Bowe situation.
-He said he's looking forward to the game this weekend and when he gets back home he's going to head out east to repair downed power lines and help people pump water out of their flooded basements from Hurricane Joaquin.
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-On the new uniforms: They're OK. but the pants could use a hammer loop

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Somebody needs to tell Ozzie Newsome he can go fuck off, we have Gary Barnidge now!
 
When he Gary Barnidge builds houses in the off-season, he doesn't use nails he uses the naturally-adhesive oils on his hands. Scientists have compared it to a natural epoxy, only non toxic and with the scent of Old Spice.
 
Rob said:
He's too good to be a Brown. Trade him for a 5th rounder to aid the tank.
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"Mr. Farmer, I tried contacting teams about a trade, but the phone lines went dead and our Internet server failed. Who is in charge of IT support around here?"

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Randolphkeys said:
Somebody needs to tell Ozzie Newsome he can go fuck off, we have Gary Barnidge now!
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I still wear my Newsome, no name throwback jersey and today it happened.

Some drunk bears fan yelled "Best TE in football right there! Man, hell of a game again today."

I was obviously incredibly confused and then it clicked. It took me about a year and a half to realize Gary wears the same number. It was a pretty sobering moment on two counts.
 
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Jack Brickman said:
And we'd also have had to pay a staff member to keep the sprinklers in pristine condition. Double blow.
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Funny you mention that. Told him about the leaky faucet in my laundry closet, offered to come down this week and replace it free of charge for having him on my fantasy roster.
 
By the way, I overheard a Ravens employee saying the grass has never been so neatly cut at their stadium before. Barnidge only makes amazing catches on the finest.
 
I think he just had sex with my wife 5 mins ago...no idea how...he's wasn't physically here...our alarm is on and her phone is off. Strange part is, I'm not sure if I'm even mad...


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