False dichotomy. Harness your inner problem solver:
1. Find internet based solution to watching games. Will likely involve streaming data/wifi and an iPad (get an old one with LGE).
2. Buy 2 locks. 1 will lock up a backpack, 1 will lock the backpack up to something like a sun umbrella or heavy cooler.
3. Go to beach and watch games while with wife. If game is good or if your wife is rambling about the co-worker she is banging, then watch game. If not, go hit the standing paddle board and snorkel.
"But Nate, the costs bro, the costs!" It really depends on your weekly spend at the sports bar, but I will give it a stab:
-High Costs: $500 Ipad, $20/mo streaming data (all months would be $240), DTV with iPad app: $60/mo for 6 months ($360). So an even $1100 for year one, then $600/year thereafter. Per game that's $69/game in year 1 and $37/game thereafter.
-Low Costs: Find an Ipad alternative or get MSFT surface pro 3 for $800 and sell whatever you are currently using ($400) OR $0 if you have an iPad. Search for cheaper data plan - T-mobile talking about data rolling forward if not used, might be better option. Search for discounts for that plan, promos, AAA member discounts, pay-as-you-go options, so $20/mo for 6 months = $120. The key: find someone with DTV who watches the games at home religiously and has no interest in the streaming feature. Make an offer of $100 for their log in info. When season is over, potentially sell the iPad for $300. All in cost $320. To pay for it, call your cable company right before the season starts, ask for retention department, tell them you are going to switch to DTV for NFL season, get discount of $15/mo for one year. All-in cost now is $140, much cheaper than sports bar. Could also find streaming game links online and not have to pay for watching. All in cost now $40. You can't afford not to do this!