Insecurities

[Lee]

I don't know if this stuff is exactly transferable to az but no joke, meetup and rec sports leagues are absolutely amazing for social life. Bowling, etc. There are non stop softball leagues here - get assigned with 10 strangers every couple months. Hang out after the hour long pick up game and build a little circle and then get together for the next one. Etc.

Meetup is fantastic too. They have events sorted by age, by interest, etc etc. There are groups for philosophical discussions, just drinking, public speaking (toastmasters). Millions of people out there trying to find community and some people have made it easy for everyone with the apps etc

It translates very well here. I need to get in shape, not into the rec sports like I used to be, but really don't have time for it with work and kids.

The meetups and other things is something I have been thinking about. My good friend that lives in my neighborhood does them, and ironically my dad in the 80's did them and made his friend group out of them right after his divorce from my mom.

Something I have been thinking. I will say what I have been doing of sleeping with girls and trying to make them my hang out friend is not working, lol. Unfortunately I am not joking on that.

 

[David.]

It translates very well here. I need to get in shape, not into the rec sports like I used to be, but really don't have time for it with work and kids.

The meetups and other things is something I have been thinking about. My good friend that lives in my neighborhood does them, and ironically my dad in the 80's did them and made his friend group out of them right after his divorce from my mom.

Something I have been thinking. I will say what I have been doing of sleeping with girls and trying to make them my hang out friend is not working, lol. Unfortunately I am not joking on that.

I'm running through the same thing. It really is hard to just keep shit simple

 

[Lee]

I'm running through the same thing. It really is hard to just keep shit simple

You live kinda close in SD, i would say we should hang out half way in between, but who the fuck wants to go to Yuma, lol

 

[Stark]

I took shitty care of my teeth when I was younger and now they're pretty trash. Like, not horrible crack-lady teeth, but not as white and perfectly straight as I want them to be. Dentist told me to get braces when I was like 13, but I said I didn't want to, which was stupid.

Going to get veneers as soon as I can afford them.

 

[Stark]

double post

 

[DJTJ]

It's 100% not having local friends, which sort of weighs on my depression/weighs on my relationship.

It's really hard for me to make friends because I'm not overwhelmingly social, and super awkward if I feel uncomfortable. I've recently made a company change which has been awesome, but now instead of working around people, I'm at home like 90% until an permanent office is secured. Kinda sucks for making friends. Also sucks that I did make a really good friend here in AZ who has since... moved to Columbus, within ten minutes of all of my friends that I still talk to from college.

Also, second place, the discs of my jaw pretty much disappeared in 2016 randomly basically allowing my jaw to just slide in and out whenever it pleases. So I'm constantly afraid to open my mouth because I can have good months, and bad months at the flip of a coin. This also weighs on the first place, because making plans is tough because I could feel awesome, and when the day comes, could be in considerable pain.

 

[David.]

Guys, do meetups and join sports leagues. Never been happier. Loneliness is a huge issue for people, and especially men. Average person has like 3 friends and hasn't made one in 5 years.

It's a process, but it gets real easy. These people have shared interest and your social skills sharpen hard and fast as you put effort into it.

 

[Lee]

It's 100% not having local friends, which sort of weighs on my depression/weighs on my relationship.

It's really hard for me to make friends because I'm not overwhelmingly social, and super awkward if I feel uncomfortable. I've recently made a company change which has been awesome, but now instead of working around people, I'm at home like 90% until an permanent office is secured. Kinda sucks for making friends. Also sucks that I did make a really good friend here in AZ who has since... moved to Columbus, within ten minutes of all of my friends that I still talk to from college.

Also, second place, the discs of my jaw pretty much disappeared in 2016 randomly basically allowing my jaw to just slide in and out whenever it pleases. So I'm constantly afraid to open my mouth because I can have good months, and bad months at the flip of a coin. This also weighs on the first place, because making plans is tough because I could feel awesome, and when the day comes, could be in considerable pain.

Do you live in phoenix? if so what part?

 

[DJTJ]

Do you live in phoenix? if so what part?

Yeah, I do. I live in central Mesa.

 

[Lee]

Yeah, I do. I live in central Mesa.

That is kind of far, I am north Phoenix, a bit north of PV Mall.

 

[Sebastian]

Harder at my age to switch things. My circle got smaller when for various reason, 4 of my closes friends moved out of town. I am happy for them and the opportunities they are taking, but it has been tough.

I have truly dated some, more than just fuck, but truly dating can be even tougher as the older you get the more scars you have. If I date younger they still want kids, and I am done with that. Allot time when I date close to my age they are either to busy with kids, work and school or they act like they are 70 years old.

Plus I have a hard time finding someone who challenges me intellectually, most the smart ones are smart enough to not be single by my age, lol

But I have slowed down on the sex, but finding friends is tough when you work in a small office. I just need to do a better job of reaching out to the friends I haven't hung out with much lately, but then I get in a rut about leaving my house on the nights I don't have the kids, especially if I work the next day.

I will figure it out I guess, eventually I will meet someone.

Good news is my ex who I consider the love of my life called me today and she is going to be in phoenix for the first time in her life. Havent seen her in 20 years, she is now married with 3 kids and has a successful career as the had of HR of a medium sized company, Oh and she is terrified of doing something bad because she is still in love with me.

So dinner in 3 weeks on Friday night should be fun, lol

You need younger friends, who don't have kids, to keep you honest.

Younger people can be refreshing because they lack as much emotional baggage. But not too young. Like people in their late 20s/early 30s.

Or, you need to make a few gay friends. No kids, good income, always traveling to cool places, always looking to booze and hit the town.

More importantly, their lives are 100% revolving around friends. No wives, no kids. No baggage.

Meet some butch ones and your life will be sports/hanging out/outdoorsy shit.

 

[Sebastian]

I have a prominent scar on my neck now. A good two inches, horizontally on the right side.

I don't wear t-shirts out anymore. Just collared shirts, always a scarf when it is cold and sometimes an ascot to hide it. People have the nerve to ask about it. A lot.

At first I would lie and invent a story, like I caught an 88mm shell to the neck, or that during a fight to the death, an Iraqi stuck a bayonet in there before I popped his head open like he was Oberyn Martell.

Or that I am an Immortal, born Phallus Maximus 2000 years ago during the reign of Claudius, and that I have lived and loved during 24 lifetimes. I was even Emperor of Rome for a time, known as Julius Nepos until the world deemed it convenient that the Western Empire should fade into the mists of history. And that I have dueled other Immortals through the ages, putting down my fellows one by one whence I incurred the scar in 1453 during the Fall of Constantinople. In the end there can only be one.

 

[Lee]

You need younger friends, who don't have kids, to keep you honest.

Younger people can be refreshing because they lack as much emotional baggage. But not too young. Like people in their late 20s/early 30s.

Or, you need to make a few gay friends. No kids, good income, always traveling to cool places, always looking to booze and hit the town.

More importantly, their lives are 100% revolving around friends. No wives, no kids. No baggage.

Meet some butch ones and your life will be sports/hanging out/outdoorsy shit.

I used have a ton of gay friends, Bridgette's brother is gay and hangs out in the gay bars all the time, was hoping to make gay friends. As for the kidless friends, 3 of the 4 friends that moved away didn't have kids although the one now has his 2nd on the way.

I am just in a weird place. And I don't need my gay friends to be butch actually, I have often gone to gay bars, its good for the ego. As a fat bearded guy who apparently has a certain appeal, I am very popular, lol.

 

[Sebastian]

I used have a ton of gay friends, Bridgette's brother is gay and hangs out in the gay bars all the time, was hoping to make gay friends. As for the kidless friends, 3 of the 4 friends that moved away didn't have kids although the one now has his 2nd on the way.

I am just in a weird place. And I don't need my gay friends to be butch actually, I have often gone to gay bars, its good for the ego. As a fat bearded guy who apparently has a certain appeal, I am very popular, lol.

With your friends having left, it seems you need even more gay friends.

Do you have hobbies? Golf? Hiking? Fishing?

 

[Lee]

With your friends having left, it seems you need even more gay friends.

Do you have hobbies? Golf? Hiking? Fishing?

Watching sports, masturbating and fucking girls way out of my league, lol

I will get there, starting over with building your life is tough after a divorce, but no different than moving to a new town where you know almost no one and I have done that twice before.

 

[Hydroponic3385]

As a fat bearded guy who apparently has a certain appeal, I am very popular, lol.