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So you hit rock bottom in life ...

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Find a mentor if you don't have one. Anti-depressants are also awesome to get you through rough times. Pick up some cheap hobbies to meet people - work out at the Y, join a softball team, go do charity at a homeless shelter, orphanage or meals-on-wheels so you realize how tough some other people have it.

A mentor is so key. You need someone you can constantly go to and ask questions. Talk to successful people and hang around successful people, you will be successful. Hang around with losers...or no one....you will struggle no matter your goals and dwell on your problems. Find people that get "it" and plaster them with questions, for suggestions, advice or whatever. Mentors love to carry people that want to succeed. They will create opportunities for you.

Anti-depressants really do work. They saved me. You don't need to use them forever, just long enough to get you through your rough stretch.

I know you think you have it bad, but it could be worse. We do some charity things through my kids school(our parish) to keep the kids honest from time to time. It's rewarding for the whole family and puts everything into persepctive. Yeah, i've had a ton of debt...i've had awful losses...but, i have my health, a roof over my head and food on the table.

It's all relative, everyone is different. Some people deal with major problems easily, some people have tough times with issues that don't seem so bad to others, but struggle mightily. When i was in my 20's i had to disconnect my wife from life support, got hooked on sleeping pills and other meds, got hit with 1.4M in medical bills and later declared bankruptcy when the economy tanked and the hospitals didn't want to settle. I'm not saying I had it worse than anyone else...again, everyone deals with things differently. But, i had it pretty bad. Don't look at your life as a whole and try to turn it all around in one year. Take baby steps. Set small goals and knock one off at a time. Meet some friends. Find a mentor. Chip away at your debt. Take it a freaking day at a time. Think positive and one day things will change. You'll meet a soul mate or get the lucky break you've been waiting for. You are a kid. The average person switches careers 6 times. You won't be doing retail forever.

I could go on for an hour, but much of what i believe has already been said. Hang in there. You'll be fine. Give it time...
 
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Good words. It could always be worse. I realize that I am not in any physical danger nor do I have any terminal ailments, so my problems probably look like chump change to most people. It's why I hesitated to post this. I think this is about as bad as I can get, though, before things truly get dire (as in, the only things that can make it much worse would be if I were actually in harm's way, or something drastic occurred). It's tough to explain, but a bland life full of depression can sometimes be just as dangerous.

One day at a time, I guess. I hope by the Fall I've gotten myself back in the driver's seat.
 
Chris said:
Good words. It could always be worse. I realize that I am not in any physical danger nor do I have any terminal ailments, so my problems probably look like chump change to most people. It's why I hesitated to post this. I think this is about as bad as I can get, though, before things truly get dire (as in, the only things that can make it much worse would be if I were actually in harm's way, or something drastic occurred). It's tough to explain, but a bland life full of depression can sometimes be just as dangerous.

One day at a time, I guess. I hope by the Fall I've gotten myself back in the driver's seat.
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Depression blows. I had it for a good 8 years of my life....impossible to explain what it's like to someone that hasn't experienced it. It doesn't matter if it's due to a loss of a loved one, insurmountable debt or whatever. Everyone has a trigger, as i said, it's all relative. Whether or not someone has it worse is really irrelevant. If someone has depression, it needs to be fixed. I know athletes that are worth 10's of millions that battled depression after injuries. I heard people say "oh, he's a milionaire, why is he depressed?". That's not fair at all. Depression is horrible. You shouldn't think twice about posting this thread...if you are depressed, you are depressed! Why not ask for advice? Becoming not depressed is the goal now. You have a good support group here. You will get good advice from some great people here. Posting this thread is a good start, in my opinion.
 
I haven't been in the position you are in in terms of depression, except maybe when my dad died, but I guess I'm the type who gets over things pretty quickly. So maybe I cant give the best advice. However, I have helped a friend get through some heavy depression.

First off, I think its a good thing you have opened up about this. Keeping something like depression locked up inside of you can magnify it. Getting it off your chest and having people be there and give advice is key, although I hope you seek professional help if you seriously get suicidal.

Secondly, what really helped my friend is finding something he loved to do and doing that activity / hobby more regularly. Doing something you love to get your mind off things and to comfort you can be surprisingly helpful. However, in your situation, you might not have time / resources for your favorite activities, but I'd still try to find something. This is like networking, just get active, meet people, and you'll probably feel better.

Finally, the promise of the future really doesn't make the current situation any less painful... But it should give you the motivation to keep going, keep persevering to make it a reality.

Just my two cents, I'm not a professional or anything. There's a lot of good advice in this thread.. I hope you get over it and your situation improves. Best of luck.
 
Chris said:
Good words. It could always be worse. I realize that I am not in any physical danger nor do I have any terminal ailments, so my problems probably look like chump change to most people. It's why I hesitated to post this. I think this is about as bad as I can get, though, before things truly get dire (as in, the only things that can make it much worse would be if I were actually in harm's way, or something drastic occurred). It's tough to explain, but a bland life full of depression can sometimes be just as dangerous.

One day at a time, I guess. I hope by the Fall I've gotten myself back in the driver's seat.
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I personally hate when people say "it could be worse".

Max and others have already pointed it out, but nobody knows how deep shit is with you except yourself. Different people have different trigger effects. And things effect each person differently. Each person reacts to depression & hard times their own way, it's not anybody's right to tell you straight out that you shouldn't feel as bad as you do.

I've been in a huge rut & have been depressed for a good while now. I'll save the stories, as this thread isn't about me or my troubles. Long story short, I absolutely hate where my life is right now & thought I'd be way further along than I currently am at 29. But let me tell you something I've found out:

It really goes a long way to just talk. It doesn't even have to be about your problems. I recently started messaging (yes, on facebook, no less) a couple people I used to work with but kind of fell away from, and actually found that one of them kind of goes through the same shit I do.

I'm not saying that exact thing will happen with you, as that is probably far fetched, but even with the couple other people I've started talking to, when I'm talking with them, it actually helps get my mind off of everything, even if it's just for a small amount of time. That's what keeps me going into thinking: "If I can get my mind off of shit for even a small amount of time, I have to be able to get through this eventually."

Like I said, talk about whatever you want, just interacting with someone and maybe getting a few laughs out of each convo helps tremendously.

To expand on Max's point about making this thread, I agree 100% with him, it's a great first step. It doesn't matter where you get your help or advice from, it's just a matter of how much you need & how in depth you need to go. Nobody here is gonna make fun of you or is short sighted enough to say something stupid to the tune of "suck it up dude, you have no right to bitch even in the situation you're in."

Your last line is the right mind set. Try not to look towards the next day at all. Just kind of take things as they go.
 
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I'll try to add to the conversation, but there is some really solid advice here from the RCF.

-Your profile says Ohio, and you mentioned you're still living in a college town 200mi away from home. Living in a college town after college is a huge fucking downer IMO, it gives the illusion that life is passing you by; that is not the case. Un-assing that college town will go a big way in helping your general self-image, although I know how much of a financial strain it is to move.

-Second job? I'm not sure what your current work schedule is, and I'm sure the job market is shitty, but there is always extra money to be made somehow! Find a job bussing/waiting tables, or get in with a couple of day labor companies. Before I started in restaurants, I unknowingly signed up with a day labor service; I got tons of 'work' because I looked like a normal person, and not a hobo. Working a few days as a day laborer will open your eyes as to how bad some others truly have it. Working in a restaurant will give you cash nightly, working with others in a similar financial position as you, and will help get you laid.

-Start to figure out what you want to do with your life. Write it down, jot down steps/plans to achieve what you want, make a schedule to meet said goals, and make yourself accountable. It sounds Anthony Robbins-level corny, but when you write your goals down, it really puts you in a much better position to meet them.

-Having some fucking sports teams in this state winning some games might help too, amarite?
 
What is your education? Are you willing to relocate? Where do you want to see yourself in 5 years?
 
I have a degree in Communications, and am two years removed from college. I feel like my degree was a helpful experience but it isn't really a field I want to work in anymore, nor is it terribly in demand. I chose it, like I said, simply because I was a dumb 19 year old transferring to a big college and it was "time" to decide what I wanted to take. So I chose something broad and ultimately not that useful. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure plenty of people have made great careers with comm degrees and I'm sure I could too, in the long run, if it was really what I wanted. But it isn't...

My plan is to go back to school this Fall. I'm going to try to stick to that plan. Don't really want to relocate. I'm familiar with Columbus. Relocating is a decent idea but I think things would only get way worse at least in the short run if I moved somewhere else. If I can get back into school this Fall I will be okay, I think. In the mean time I'm going to look for a better job and also look to move back towards campus ... right now I live out near Bexley and it SUCKS SO MUCH ASS. It's basically a living situation of convenience because I had nowhere else to go at the end of my lease in December and my mom had a friend from work who owns a house here and whose son goes to OSU. Why the fuck they have him living out near Bexley I don't know but you have to hit the freeway for a good 15 just to get to campus, and even longer for me to get to work now. The gas expenditure is like 50% of my financial shit, not including debt of course. So if I'm going back to school, I need to A) Find a new, better job (waiting tables would be prime but it's generally hot chicks or experienced guys that get those jobs) and B) Get a move back to campus area relatively soon.

I think this is a good plan because it solves a lot of problems at once. Long run, it would solve career/financial woes, short run it solves meeting people and giving me direction and something to work towards. I'm sure some people here will say going back to school at 23 going on 24 is a bad plan or whatever but ... the truth is when I was starting school again the past 3 weeks before having to drop my shit, I was starting to get happier.
 
One. Day. At. A. Time.

Also, to not be completely redundant I'm just going to offer one other thing.

Don't do any disservice for yourself. Be completely forthright in just about everything. You said that you had a bunch of bills due in a couple of days. If you can't afford to get that done right now, tell them. Don't let it fester inside while you work to try to resolve the issue alone. Lean on anyone who will allow you to (a mentor is a GREAT idea).
 
As wonderful as my wife has been for me, her dad has been nearly as awesome. After my dad died, I had a pretty shitty child-hood due to overall neglectful and shitty parenting on the part of my mom and step-dad. I lost a father figure altogether and didn't have one at all until I met my wife.

Her dad has been instrumental in helping me to become a better, happier and more knowledgeable person. He has helped with my career, sent me business, taught me all kinds of things related to being a home-owner and just been a great example across the board.

I go to him with everything and anything I have questions on and talk to him just to BS a couple times a day too. He's a "teach a man to fish" kind of guy with my wife, my bro in law and I and a "give a girl a fish" type with his other two daughters, who are a bit spoiled and dependent. :chuckles:


Mentors are a huge factor.
 
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Maybe I should PM Quad about being my mentor.
 
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