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The 10 Commandments of Trade Rumors

Discussion in 'Cavs Talk' started by Joe Henderson, May 23, 2008.

  1. Joe Henderson

    Joe Henderson keyboard monkey

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    Alright, with the offseason having exploded onto this board, covering everything with rumor-mongering debris, i think it's time to come up with some basic common sense rules. I'll throw a few out there that i've felt like i had to post a few times already, then please, feel free to add yours.

    1. No lazy fat guys.

    AKA, the Zach Randolph Axiom. Overpaid guys who get by on sheer talent and don't do much to improve their game shouldn't be anywhere near the Cavs.

    2. No long New York or New Jersey contracts

    AKA, the Big Market Theorem. The Cavs should never, under any circumstances help possible Lebron destinations clear cap space for him.

    3. No downhill superstars

    AKA the Shaq-Kidd-Jerm Rule. This didn't work for the Suns or the Mavs and wouldn't work the Cavs. You basically get one shot, then are shackled with the gigantic deal. That's no way to build a team. The Cavs should be adding pieces now that could be around for years to come.

    4. No GM clones

    AKA the Jiri Welsch Rule, just to shorten everything up. Paxson traded a first rounder for a late second-round talent. Why? He thought a shooting guard who has "basketball IQ" and a mid-range game would be perfect with LeBron. You can also call this the Donyell Marshall rule after Danny gave too many years to a veteran power forward who could stroke the three ball.

    courtesy of RK

    5. No mortgaging of te future.

    AKA the Law of Isiah. Have you noticed there is only one traded first rounder in this draft? When was the last time everyone kept their first rounders? As previously mentioned, demanding first rounders to complete deals has lost its wonton Isaiah Thomas charm. No one wants a roster that is old, financially secure, and never pushed in practice by young blood. Again, don't pull a Miami Heat because its not worth it.

    courtesy of RK

    6. No small guards over 30

    AKA the Damon Stoudemire Directive. Cavs fans were outraged that we traded Mark Price for a first rounder. I remember when Cavs forums wanted to swap out Z for Nick Van Exel. I remember when Damon Stoudemire was a bonafide point guard. Sure there are exceptions like AI, but generally the drop off is hard and steep.

    courtesy of RK

    7. No Snow/Szczerbiak combo deal.

    AKA the Expiring Contracts Corollary. No Snow and Szczerbiak in the same deal unless it's a huge swap (like for Redd/Williams/Simmons or for 'Melo). I really don't want to dump both guys for Redd or Mike Miller. They're both good chips on their own.

    courtesy of Benny

    8. No garbage for superstars proposals.

    AKA the Ira Newble Dictate. No absurd trade ideas like where the Cavs get 2 All-star players in exchange for Damon Jones, Ira Newble, Dwayne Jones, and our 1st rounder.... and yes, I know that Ira is no longer on the team... that's kinda the point. Try to use some common sense in the trade... does it fit the cap considerations.... would you do the same trade if you were the OTHER team.... are all the players and picks eligible to be traded?

    courtesy of MikeOC

    9. No fraudulent euros.
    AKA the Sasha Pavlovic Regulation. Watch out for--> THE FRAUDULENT EUROS-- especially the ones everyone says "can shoot the lights out"... Those sneaky bastards are very rarely worth a damn, are slow, finesse players, with poor basketball IQ's that have no desire to defend, and have virtually nothing to offer a team.. Only a select handful are useful to their team, and rest assure they will not be available in any form or fashion.. They may show flashes and promise in practice, but stay away from these frauds and resist the urge..

    courtesy of PIP

    any more?
     
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    Last edited: May 23, 2008
  2. Damage

    Damage ****face

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    Nobody with an injury riddled past. See Jermaine O'Neil
     
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  3. Benny08302

    Benny08302 Constantly Lurking

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    how about:

    No Snow and Szczerbiak in the same deal unless it's a huge swap (like for Redd/Williams/Simmons or for 'Melo). I really don't want to dump both guys for Redd or Mike Miller. They're both good chips on their own.

    The 19th pick is NOT a throw-in.
     
  4. Rycka

    Rycka Rookie

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    I think cavs should try to get J.r. smith from denver, and trade wally sczerbiak - that guys is in top10 most overpaid players in nba ( jermain is #1 )
     
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  5. Splitz

    Splitz RIM PROTECTOR Staff Member

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    I pretty much don't agree with the first two. If you can get a pick and Zach in a deal I think you do it. 2nd of all, NY is one of the most likely trading partners. It makes sense. They need the financial benefits and they want to unload Zach and Curry. You think they won't find a way to clear some space even without our help? What difference does it make? I don't subscribe to this "don't help NY" mindset. If we don't make something happen it won't make a damn difference, he will bolt anyway. Putting a team around him that can contend for a championship takes precedence over who we help out financially. If they are able to do what they want, the space will be there by 2010. Zach + a pick would put us in much better shape then we are now. Not saying it is going to happen because you usually don't get value players and a pick but who the hell knows with NY.

    Also, let me be clear that Zach is in no way my first choice for this team.
     
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    Last edited: May 23, 2008
  6. The Voice

    The Voice Best in the World

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    I disagree only in a certain situation though. If you are moving up in the draft, it could be a throw in.
     
  7. Lee

    Lee Established Since 2005

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    not to be picky, but that is only 3 commandments not 10, I feel i am owed 7 more commandments.:chuckles:
     
  8. Randolphkeys

    Randolphkeys Admittedly Pompous Staff Member

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    Here's a few to add on:

    Openly Question Trade Targets Who Share Too Many Similarities to the GM. I concidered calling this the Jiri Welsch rule, just to shorten everything up. Paxson traded a first rounder for a late second-round talent. Why? He thought a shooting guard who has "basketball IQ" and a mid-range game would be perfect with LeBron. You can also call this the Donyell Marshall rule after Danny gave too many years to a veteran power forward who could stroke the three ball.

    Never Mortgage the Future Have you noticed there is only one traded first rounder in this draft? When was the last time everyone kept their first rounders? As previously mentioned, demanding first rounders to complete deals has lost its wonton Isaiah Thomas charm. No one wants a roster that is old, financially secure, and never pushed in practice by young blood. Again, don't pull a Miami Heat because its not worth it.

    Beware of Small Guards Over 30 Cavs fans were outraged that we traded Mark Price for a first rounder. I remember when Cavs forums wanted to swap out Z for Nick Van Exel. I remember when Damon Stoudemire was a bonafide point guard. Sure there are exceptions like AI, but generally the drop off is hard and steep.

    I'm awaiting more suggestions from others, if not I will come up with more.
     
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  9. Joe Henderson

    Joe Henderson keyboard monkey

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    RK as me convinced, i'm adding is suggestions to the list. well thought-out and explained.
     
  10. MikeOC33

    MikeOC33 Cavs Fanatic

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    No absurd trade ideas like where the Cavs get 2 All-star players in exchange for Damon Jones, Ira Newble, Dwayne Jones, and our 1st rounder....

    and yes, I know that Ira is no longer on the team... that's kinda the point. Try to use some common sense in the trade... does it fit the cap considerations.... would you do the same trade if you were the OTHER team.... are all the players and picks eligible to be traded?
     
  11. Joe Henderson

    Joe Henderson keyboard monkey

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    and i much liked Benny's too.
     
  12. PIP

    PIP Orange and Blue Staff Member

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    [​IMG]
    Watch out for--> THE FRAUDULENT EUROS-- especially the ones everyone says "can shoot the lights out"... Those sneaky bastards are very rarely worth a damn, are slow, finesse players, with poor basketball IQ's that have no desire to defend, and have virtually nothing to offer a team.. Only a select handful are useful to their team, and rest assure they will not be available in any form or fashion.. They may show flashes and promise in practice, but stay away from these frauds and resist the urge..
     
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  13. Joe Henderson

    Joe Henderson keyboard monkey

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    Phew, for a moment, i thought you were dissing me there...

    :D
     
  14. _amon _ones

    _amon _ones Needa Beer?

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    Pip just described Luke Jackson to a "T".
     
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  15. Joe Henderson

    Joe Henderson keyboard monkey

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    excuse me, but white =/= euro. just ask Ronny Turiaf.
     
  16. PIP

    PIP Orange and Blue Staff Member

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    :chuckles:
     
  17. TruBuckeye22

    TruBuckeye22 Buying Big 10 tile rings

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    THE BRITNEY SPEARS RULE in other words if it looks to good to be true it is. you may come across a rumor that looks great in one of those little school girl uniforms or dancing around on stage with a tigers and snakes but deep down that rumor is a white trash, head shaving, crack whoring, umbrella ghost killing, more inept at parenting then K-fed , fried chicken loving, public restroom barefoot walking, 8 pack a day, papparazzi boinking, Paris Hilton pal, Madonna making out with...wait that is a good thing, future featered dancer at Deja Vu in Toledo, hitting you car while parking, Biopolar, involuntary psychriatic hold, gynoherposyphilitus spreading false rumor.
     
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  18. Randolphkeys

    Randolphkeys Admittedly Pompous Staff Member

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    I vote in favor of the Britney Spears Rule. Its like trading all your assets to move up from #19 into the high lottery: These hot young prospects end up peaking at age 19 more often than not.

    Now that I read it again, its kinda the same as MikeOC's rule, isn't it?
     
  19. Dudeurkillingme

    Dudeurkillingme Lurking Since 2006

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    I just had a flashback to my college days and threw up in my mouth...Thanks!
     
  20. DeeThree

    DeeThree ~~19

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    Alright, heres my two cents about Eddy Curry who IF we traded with New York would probably be the most realistic player we'd get in return.

    I live in Chicago and watch most of their games every year, and have been since they drafted Curry, Jay Williams, Tyson Chandler etc..

    Eddy Curry would be a great player for the Cavs.


    Listen - Hear me out...

    Every game that Curry has scored over 20 points, the guards look for him down low, they don't give him the ball in the post and ask him to create his own offense, even though that man has a really nice righty hook shot up to 6 ish feet. Now, this man is HUGE, ( That can be a bad thing, I understand the whole thunder thighs syndrome :chuckles: ) -- Like I said, Curry is big, shaq-esue when hes going up for a dunk, grab him all you want, hack him, he will put the ball in the basket down low, he will SLAM it down.

    Thats a problem the Cavs have had.

    How many times have we seen Lebron feed Andy 4 feet from the basket to see Andy do a spin move and throw up a wild hook, how many times have we seen Z lay the ball in softly instead of throwing it down ( Don't give me BS like Z cant slam it down, look at the boston game where he dunked from close to the dotted line. Stop it. )

    Sure Curry isn't as good of a rebounder as you'd like our 4 or 5 to be, but we have GREAT rebounding guards, and we have Lebron, We can hide that weakness...
    Sure call him lazy, call him fat, call him out of shape , but theres one thing you can't call this man - a Force under the basket.
     

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