The mental health thread

[CleveRocks]

The actual name of the book I read..

The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

Melissa Orlov..

The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD
The other book also by Orlov, which my wife and I read together. And that was not an easy thing, but there are a lot of aha moments.

There are several more books than I saw when we were in the teeth of it in 2015. But I can tell you it was one component in our relationship that nearly sank us. But due in part to my wife's amazing patience and also due in part to my own relentlessness in fixing our relationship, things are going great.

The book alone is not enough though. Find a counselor that specializes in ADHD and marriage counseling. Our guy wrote several books on child ADHD, but half his practice is marriage counseling.

And you have to be committed. It is a tough road, and it will require a looking hard at yourself. Not an easy thing. A lot of ADHD adults have developed defense mechanisms to stay positive in spite of when things go wrong. (otherwise you would just end it) But these mechanisms can also prevent you from embracing your situation. Its hard and more than a little scary.

Book is also good for spouses. Even if she is also ADHD, odds are good that she does not understand how it works. Understanding how it works will help her understand how to work with you. For example, if you are giving me something to do, make sure you are crystal about what it is and make sure I set a reminder for myself and or write it down. Dont be tossing it out there while I am reading a book and think the 'uh-huh" I uttered actually means I am all in.. just for example. Also understand that criticism kills relationships, even if you think its constructive, your spouse needs to be assured that you love them in spite of the flaws. ADHD people will focus on the negatives and that can convince them you dont love them.

 

[cavman]

I'm feeling extremely happy lately, and I'm kind of worried I might be getting manic again. I'm hoping it's just going to normal for me to feel this way. But I'm afraid I will seek out risky behavior. Man If I can live right here in the mood I'm in this second life would be perfect.

 

[David.]

Very low.

I made 2 k last week and it doesn't even matter. I'm on the hook for 64 k. I don't get tk spend money for years. All I do is work.

I am so uninterested in people. "i dont wanna be lonely, just wanna be alone". I get no enjoyment from talking to guys, I'm so.. Over dating. I can't like anyone. I got fucked up somewhere along the way and I can't do it.

I'm going to die alone. I know I need to snap out of this

 

[cavman]

The person I was a year ago is officially gone. The work I have put in on my mental health has paid dividends. It's like this whole new world has opened up to me. I have never in my life felt this way, even as a kid. You guys played a big role in my recovery. I appreciate it a lot.

 

[David.]

Meanwhile I'm not saying I wanna kill myself but I am googling how bad does it actually hurt to shoot yourself in the head

 

[cavman]

Meanwhile I'm not saying I wanna kill myself but I am googling how bad does it actually hurt to shoot yourself in the head

Have you been seeing a doctor about this?

 

[David.]

Have you been seeing a doctor about this?

I make too much money for state coverage and not enough to pay back 64k of student loans

No doc for me

 

[cavman]

I make too much money for state coverage and not enough to pay back 64k of student loans

No doc for me

Have you been on meds before?

 

[David.]

Anything on beating depressio would be great. Book, YouTube vid..

 

[Sebastian]

I make too much money for state coverage and not enough to pay back 64k of student loans

No doc for me

You should reach out social services in area. I think there are several programs that California runs for lower-income folks who make too much to qualify for MediCal.

I think seeing either a psychologist, or psychiatrist would help. And I mean outside of medication.

You mentioned depression, have you ever been diagnosed with it?

The person I was a year ago is officially gone. The work I have put in on my mental health has paid dividends. It's like this whole new world has opened up to me. I have never in my life felt this way, even as a kid. You guys played a big role in my recovery. I appreciate it a lot.

May I ask, did you start seeing a mental health professional and/or start a course of medication?

 

[Coyote850]

Mental Health???? What about turning 50...……..????? Old fucker...…...

 

[Sumac13]

Mental Health???? What about turning 50...……..????? Old fucker...…...

Uh, happy birthday. Not far behind you.

After seeing Cavman's post about putting work into mental health, I think I need to make a serious effort myself. Just tired in every way.

 

[cavman]

You should reach out social services in area. I think there are several programs that California runs for lower-income folks who make too much to qualify for MediCal.

I think seeing either a psychologist, or psychiatrist would help. And I mean outside of medication.

You mentioned depression, have you ever been diagnosed with it?



May I ask, did you start seeing a mental health professional and/or start a course of medication?

It was a bit of a pain getting a diagnosis, but once I was on the right meds for bipolar disorder it took about 6 months before I started to feel better. I just didn't give up thinking it was not working. So now I'm on Lamactil 100mg and prozac 50mg. Seems to keep my drastic swings under control.

 

[cavman]

Uh, happy birthday. Not far behind you.

After seeing Cavman's post about putting work into mental health, I think I need to make a serious effort myself. Just tired in every way.

It's so worth it. I mean I'm excited for where I'll be next year. I have never looked forward to getting older lol.

 

[Kouki]

If you have depression coupled with anxiety, I have found progressive relaxation to be really nice. You have to stick to it for a ~week to really recognize the effects. Two 10-15 minute sessions a day, really helps you stay calm and centered.

I'm also on prescriptions for depression/anxiety (really moreso anxiety) but L-Theanine helps with anxiety. Heard good things about the Headspace app too but I just started to take it upon myself to put on some super calming music and do my own thing.

And of course exercise and limit drinking.

I'm sure there have got to be sources you can reach out to, hell call the national suicide line, even if you aren't actively suicidal they can find you resources.