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Wait... I have a food allergy?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Randolphkeys, May 8, 2012.

  1. Randolphkeys

    Randolphkeys Admittedly Pompous Staff Member

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    This is a thread for discovering you have a food allergy... and the unpleasant repercussions.

    I've always eaten pineapple. I fucking love pineapple. Usually it came to me in a jar with chunks of it floating in a plastic tub. I worked as a cook for a while in college and used this pre-chopped product all the time in Hawaiian pizzas.

    Last Saturday, I threw a great barbecue for my young Thor's birthday. I diced two FRESH pineapples and served them as addendums to the skewers as well as grilled separately for the kids. I've previously heard that some people have adverse reactions to raw pineapple, so I thought I was being careful by serving grilled pineapple to kids. The freshly cut pineapple juice covered my hands and mouth.

    I probably started feeling the headaches, fever, and sore throat right after chopping, but I was hosting a big party. I ignored feeling sick and started drinking beers. Six hours passed, and I handled all the raw meat, veggies, and pineapple with my bare hands. I served the cooked product with my trusty grilling tools.

    Evidence exists on facebook of what I looked like after touching the pineapple all day... I look like fat early 80s William Shatner with a beard. My body was toxic and bloated. However, my kid was opening presents; I didn't notice.

    Sunday I assumed I had a cold and rested up. My wife convinced me to take a bath, which was wonderful. I swear my balls haven't smelled this good in years. I still felt like crap and couldn't eat anything aside from flavorless leftover potato salad and ice cream.

    This morning, my hands felt itchy. Then they hurt. Then red spots showed up. Then my entire body felt like a pin cushion. I suddenly remembered my brother-in-law describing why he doesn't eat shrimp. FUCK.

    Now I am covered in semi-itchy and semi-stinging hives. It has just traveled from my hands and throat to my entire body. I can barely sleep. THIS SUCKS.



    +++Coincidentally, as an aside, I was recently told Thor broke the top fifteen in baby boy names this past year. For clarification: That name is totally white trash for a child. It's like calling your kid Megatron. For the sake of the website, I have a pen name for my kid... he isn't actually Thor. That shit is terrible.
     
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    Last edited: May 8, 2012
  2. Man Called X

    Man Called X Not a **** was given

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    You're a pussy. I'm going to make some Pineapple custard pie and enjoy it all to myself while you break out in hives to the thought of it
     
  3. Randolphkeys

    Randolphkeys Admittedly Pompous Staff Member

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    I can eat processed pineapple all day... it's the fresh stuff that my body seems to reject. I'm so pissed at this mortal shell. SO PISSED!!!
     
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  4. David.

    David. .

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    sometimes when i wake up my hands break out in hives and inflate like mickey mouse hands.

    no more glory hole for me.
     
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  5. Randolphkeys

    Randolphkeys Admittedly Pompous Staff Member

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    Wait, you consider glory hole food?
     
  6. David.

    David. .

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    The milk that comes out of the hose in the wall is food
     
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  7. Biw

    Biw The One Who Knocks

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    The 12 year old in me made me laugh out loud at that.
     
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  8. David.

    David. .

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    well thast very immature.

    id kill for a 12 year old inside me
     
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  9. Bill Walton.

    Bill Walton. Luke, I am your Father

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    I CANT STOP ITCHING.

    Dealt with a reaction to a prescription on Halloween a couple years back, chowed down on grape children's allergy pills and slept for 2 days. I love being sick, anything that can put me in the hospital sounds great to me. But those fucking hives were little bastards. I feel the itch from miles and miles away
     
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  10. Bill Walton.

    Bill Walton. Luke, I am your Father

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  11. David.

    David. .

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    I have weirded out Bill Walton.

    Nothing left to do but retire.
     
  12. Numbers Guy

    Numbers Guy 1234567890

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    Well.. I found out I'm allergic to fresh Kiwi a few years back..:coffee:
     
  13. The Oi

    The Oi Or Also Schtick

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    Have yet to discover a food I'm allergic to. Milk products make me gassy sometimes, but that's it.
     
  14. Soda

    Soda Bania'd

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    Everything makes me gassy... I gave up soda this year, still fart like crazy. Actually was at the gym yesterday and had to stop my workout because I had a bomb knocking at the asshole door. Every time I eat peppers, they come out smelling exactly as they have gone in. I try to keep away from them. Also, if I eat a burger, stay away. It sucks, but it made for some comedic days as a youngster (and occasionally now).

    My girlfriend is allergic to: soy, grass (being outside), histamine (alcohol, leftovers, cheese, etc), dogs and I'm just mentioning the major stuff. She can't eat certain fruits and veggies and the list goes on. She basically has to just deal with allergic reactions, her choice is to what degree.
     
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  15. QuadrupleDouble

    QuadrupleDouble All-Star

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    Went in to shock a few years back and still have no idea what caused it. The drs think it was a preservative in pineapple topping on a banana split that can sometimes happen. I think I accidentally swallowed one of the ex wife's cats hairs because it was crawling all over me while eating it.

    Went in to anylphalactic shock and looked like the dude from the mask. IV of Benadryl and adrenaline is a weird fucking drug combo I hope none of you have to experience.

    The rash started at my armpits and groin for some reason. Still have no clue what caused it
     
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  16. The Human Q-Tip

    The Human Q-Tip NBA Starter

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    I've been cursed with a variety of food allergies for awhile. They suck.

    For allergic reactions, the military issues those little bee sting kits that have some antihistamine pills and an epinephrine auto-injector. They work for any allergy, not just bee stings. You can't buy the auto-injectors, but you can buy bottles of liquid Benadryl that work as fast as those chewable pills. I've got a bottle of that shit in my car just in case, and take a double if a reaction hits. And yeah, this is doctor approved. Had to go in to the emergency room a couple of times before I figured out the specific foods that caused it, and every doctor I told about the Benadryl said it's the right thing to do.
     
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  17. MattyFos.

    MattyFos. Ballplayer

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    No allergies......

    Man up Keys. Eat all the fresh pineapple you can get your meat beaters on. Teach your body to quit being such a little bitch.
     
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  18. gourimoko

    gourimoko Fighting the good fight!

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    Keys.. If you still have the symptoms: a prednesone and benadryl combo knocks that shit out instantly... I have a horrible shell-fish allergy that comes and goes whenever the fuck it pleases...
     
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  19. bob2the2nd

    bob2the2nd member 32

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    last july 3rd (i had to get on a plane for a 7 hour flight on the 4th) i was celebrating with the GF and we decided to make lobster dinner for her, filet mignon for me (but we had a couple of bites of the other persons). About 3 hours after eating, while coming back from fireworks on a community bus i begin to feel sick (figured its the hot bus with lots of people). Within an hour im curled up in bed trying not to get sick. the next 12 hours i can only describe as living hell. i couldnt do anything to stop throwing up, and end up missing my 10am flight. I was finally able to control throwing up by noon, and forced myself to be on a 4p flight.

    one of the most miserable experiences of my life. i can eat any other food as far as I know, but lobster apparently destroys me
     
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  20. Shakalu M.D.

    Shakalu M.D. Its Happening!!!!

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    Only issue I have is ice cream makes me fart uncontrollably. It only made me like ice cream more.

    I'm off to eat some lobster with a fresh pineapple sauce.
     
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