Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

[Storm Sutherland]

Little Ladies,

Just got back from my "Should Storm Sutherland Start a Blog?" World Tour. Jam Packed. Played NBA Jam for way too long and got myself a hefty fanbase in Peru and Great Britain.

Let's step right into the dirty waters and pull out a goldy regarding all that related Cavs.

That makes it what? 42 games in a row? Not too Shabba Ranks considering most of our guards stand at the 3 pt line 90 percent of the time.

Good see to Boobs filling out his shirt like girls do. Keep gun runnin, other boys be growth stuntin.

Shaq got himself a new job. Cell provider. Covering all areas in the paint. Gets bad repcetion at the line, but no one tops him in sexting. Ask the chicas for confirmation.

LBJ. He's like 2 good players in one. You can't tell which player is doing what, you just feel comfty knowing that 2 dudes are in one body playing ridiculous. He's on that Steve Guttenberg tip. Ya'll be in cocoons. Brian Dennehy just giggled and shot me a head nod. I know the time on yo clocks.

Trade Time.

15 days will go slow. I swear to friggin God it will feel like 16 to 17 when this is all over. I set up a tent over my lappy. I sleep next to my lappy. I prepare food next to it. I quit my job. I have no fears. Christie's Cabaret will never find another Best Boy Grip. Not at my salary and skill levels.

Jamison- Still not a fan of your drink. But I never yacked it up like I did with Jack. Heard LBJ is pining for you. Just another instance confirming what I've known for 2 years. LBJ is best friends with every single player in the NBA past or present. Only Stevenson and Pierce he's omitted. Send em Z and a 1st, or D-Jax. If they say no, Danny needs to lay off the hand sitting and sit on their faces. Face Smothering style. Bizarre Fetish Included in the previous sentence.

Iggy- Send them a copy of my "Kittens Gone Cute" compilation. Shouldn't take much more than expirings along with the comp. Trust me, these kittens are effin cute. Plus, it would be nice to have a guy that can rebound, pass and defend at a high level. I'll take the iffy outside shot.

Murphy- Why do I hate his face so much? That smug look, that smudged face, that mud glance? I can't explain it. I played him in a pick up game. He rained 3's on me. I took him off the dribble at will. This is taking account my bad back and playing in heels. Don't ask. For whatever reason i thought they'd give me better lateral movement.

Stand Pat- I cannot stand Pat. Biggest jerk on my street. Always showing off his snow blower, snow plow and riding lawnmower. Meanwhile, I'm rocking a cracked snow shovel, and garden shears I use to cut 2 acres. Yeah, you got money Pat, I get it. I'm still egging your house everyday.

Standing Pat is a mistake. Don't make me text you Danny Ferry. I'm over my limit for the month.

Thanks for reading. I wrote this originally as a love letter to this chick. I got sidetracked. Only part in the love letter that remains is the sexting and boob part.

I hate spiders!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Dad

[kevinoc0]

You had me at

[chiefwahoo]

Possibly your best work yet Storm.

[abuC]

Entertaining and insightful, it's like Black Dynamite is posting on here.

[kosis]

Nuff said.

[JayP146]

Storm Sutherland, second only to W&G in Thanks per posts (TPP) ratio ...

[Douglar]

It's time to get dirty.

http://www.nypost.com/r/nypost/2009/...4--300x437.jpg

[PATRICK EWING]

Don't die, Storm.. We need more of this in the future...

[BigErieCavsFan]

Classic storm. Best one yet...

[aaronbev79]

If W&G is rep Jesus, you are the second coming.

Or, maybe the rep anti-christ...

[Randolphkeys]

Any relation to Kiefer or Donald?

[LtDan- No Legs]

Nice work once again storm. I have to say, with all of the crazy rumors and speculation on the board these days, I find your posts to be the most relevant. They are a breath of fresh air. Well done.

[AMC]

You need a Twitter account my friend

[Pimpton23]

Speechless....

Well said.

With that being said, where's my scotch and cigar. I just got royally mind-fucked, and loved every second of it.

[Storm Sutherland]

Thanks for the kind words. It always makes me feel emotional. Not in the woman sense. It's deeper than that.

Just waiting for this deadline to pass. I haven't slept for 3 weeks.

Strike that. About 12 hours, but still. It's sooooo long.

Things on Tap

Twitter Account
Blog
Autobiography

I'm gonna get got in 2010

HUGS,

Sweet Charles