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  1. #1
    Single Mother Lover!!! Storm Sutherland's Avatar
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    Default Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Little Ladies,

    Just got back from my "Should Storm Sutherland Start a Blog?" World Tour. Jam Packed. Played NBA Jam for way too long and got myself a hefty fanbase in Peru and Great Britain.

    Let's step right into the dirty waters and pull out a goldy regarding all that related Cavs.

    That makes it what? 42 games in a row? Not too Shabba Ranks considering most of our guards stand at the 3 pt line 90 percent of the time.

    Good see to Boobs filling out his shirt like girls do. Keep gun runnin, other boys be growth stuntin.

    Shaq got himself a new job. Cell provider. Covering all areas in the paint. Gets bad repcetion at the line, but no one tops him in sexting. Ask the chicas for confirmation.

    LBJ. He's like 2 good players in one. You can't tell which player is doing what, you just feel comfty knowing that 2 dudes are in one body playing ridiculous. He's on that Steve Guttenberg tip. Ya'll be in cocoons. Brian Dennehy just giggled and shot me a head nod. I know the time on yo clocks.

    Trade Time.

    15 days will go slow. I swear to friggin God it will feel like 16 to 17 when this is all over. I set up a tent over my lappy. I sleep next to my lappy. I prepare food next to it. I quit my job. I have no fears. Christie's Cabaret will never find another Best Boy Grip. Not at my salary and skill levels.

    Jamison- Still not a fan of your drink. But I never yacked it up like I did with Jack. Heard LBJ is pining for you. Just another instance confirming what I've known for 2 years. LBJ is best friends with every single player in the NBA past or present. Only Stevenson and Pierce he's omitted. Send em Z and a 1st, or D-Jax. If they say no, Danny needs to lay off the hand sitting and sit on their faces. Face Smothering style. Bizarre Fetish Included in the previous sentence.

    Iggy- Send them a copy of my "Kittens Gone Cute" compilation. Shouldn't take much more than expirings along with the comp. Trust me, these kittens are effin cute. Plus, it would be nice to have a guy that can rebound, pass and defend at a high level. I'll take the iffy outside shot.

    Murphy- Why do I hate his face so much? That smug look, that smudged face, that mud glance? I can't explain it. I played him in a pick up game. He rained 3's on me. I took him off the dribble at will. This is taking account my bad back and playing in heels. Don't ask. For whatever reason i thought they'd give me better lateral movement.

    Stand Pat- I cannot stand Pat. Biggest jerk on my street. Always showing off his snow blower, snow plow and riding lawnmower. Meanwhile, I'm rocking a cracked snow shovel, and garden shears I use to cut 2 acres. Yeah, you got money Pat, I get it. I'm still egging your house everyday.

    Standing Pat is a mistake. Don't make me text you Danny Ferry. I'm over my limit for the month.

    Thanks for reading. I wrote this originally as a love letter to this chick. I got sidetracked. Only part in the love letter that remains is the sexting and boob part.

    I hate spiders!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love,

    Dad
    Farts

  2. #2
    Big Perm kevinoc0's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    You had me at

    "All those years I was dreaming of other things, I was actually doing what I really wanted: hanging out with my family, drinking with my friends, making friends with my family and hanging out with my drinking."

  3. #3
    Skating into the draft chiefwahoo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Possibly your best work yet Storm.
    Will one of you please win a title in my lifetime???


  4. #4
    Rising Star $ Donator abuC's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Entertaining and insightful, it's like Black Dynamite is posting on here.

  5. #5
    Good Guys Club founder kosis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Nuff said.

  6. #6
    All Star JayP146's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Storm Sutherland, second only to W&G in Thanks per posts (TPP) ratio ...
    Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'
    — Isaac Asimov

  7. #7
    Cryotherapy Enthusiast
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!


  8. #8
    Orange and Blue PIP's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Don't die, Storm.. We need more of this in the future...
    Quote Originally Posted by PIP View Post
    Mike Miller reminds me of myself...Brothas love him and Sistas **** him...

  9. #9
    All Star BigErieCavsFan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Classic storm. Best one yet...

  10. #10
    Banned
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    If W&G is rep Jesus, you are the second coming.

    Or, maybe the rep anti-christ...

  11. #11
    Admittedly Pompous Randolphkeys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Any relation to Kiefer or Donald?
    “He (Dellavedova) was doin' too much.” ~Paul George, January 5th

  12. #12
    Practice Squad
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Nice work once again storm. I have to say, with all of the crazy rumors and speculation on the board these days, I find your posts to be the most relevant. They are a breath of fresh air. Well done.

  13. #13
    Mmhmm. AMC's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    You need a Twitter account my friend

  14. #14
    The "Rager" has you... Pimpton23's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Speechless....

    Well said.

    With that being said, where's my scotch and cigar. I just got royally mind-fucked, and loved every second of it.
    Go Cavs, Go Tribe, Go Browns! Cleveland F'n Rocks!







    Peyton Hillis > You

  15. #15
    Single Mother Lover!!! Storm Sutherland's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shiver me Timbers! Rumors with a Side Order of Ooompph... Breathe it In!

    Thanks for the kind words. It always makes me feel emotional. Not in the woman sense. It's deeper than that.

    Just waiting for this deadline to pass. I haven't slept for 3 weeks.

    Strike that. About 12 hours, but still. It's sooooo long.

    Things on Tap

    Twitter Account
    Blog
    Autobiography

    I'm gonna get got in 2010

    HUGS,

    Sweet Charles
    Farts

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