10 Whitest Players in NBA History

[cdt]

How is Shawn Bradley not on the list? That guy looked like he had to make an appointment to sit down. Most unathletic player in ever.

Vinny Del Negro?

He was white and his last name was Negro? With a hair do like Tony Danza? What the fuck?

Chris Dudley?

[Powerslave]

Your dad/substitute teacher had a proud career in Chicago

[Bill Walton.]

.........................

[Lee]

How is there no mention of Greg Ostertag? Atleast honorable mention

[MoFlo]

Hell, Karl Malone is whiter than 1/2 that list...

[UDcleveland]

Hell, Karl Malone is whiter than 1/2 that list...

Well, 1/10th of it anyway.

My write in is definitely Tom McMillen. It isn't often a guy plays in the NBA, but is white enough to eventually become a Congressman. He and Bird form the whitest photo in NBA history (Put on your sunglasses):

[Randolphkeys]

I could out-white half of that list. I give the writer props for working Scott Brooks, Rambis, and Paul Mokeski into the list. When we just talk skin tone, I don't want a white guy, I want a guy who boarders on pink when he exercises.



Look at that skin... I didn't even know that color was an option. It's like he donated his skin melanin to cancer research. It's actually illegal for him to stand next to trees while holding a lasso. That is how white Van Horn is.



Just amazing.


My runner up is Brad Davis. You have to see a full pictoral of his career and his many style changes... it's like the Forrest Gump of being a white guy.

[Lee]

2 words. Chuck Nevit.

[JiggleIt]

Keys makes a good point about the skin color when they exercise. For the pure whiteness factor, you've gotta have that kind of heat rash-y, pan-seared pink flavor to the skin.

Bill Walton had that pinkness you look for, but he was way too hip to be a true white guy. Yeah, he loved the Grateful Dead, but he strikes you as the kind of guy that the black guys would invite into their hotel room to smoke weed with them and not acknowledge the fact that he was the token white guy. Like they wouldn't call him "The White _____," they'd just call him Bill.



John Stockton ABSOLUTELY had that pinkness, he played in Mormon country, he had a Republican hair-cut and he was a stead-fast hot-pants guy throughout his career. THAT's white.



Mark Madsen would hit the My Little Pony pink level when he was angry. And just playing, he had kind of a sickly, desert pallor salmon tint to him. Personally...I think Mark Madsen should be number one.




How was Brian "RandolphKeys' brother" Scalabrine excluded???

[Prophet Named X]

Keys makes a good point about the skin color when they exercise. For the pure whiteness factor, you've gotta have that kind of heat rash-y, pan-seared pink flavor to the skin.

Bill Walton had that pinkness you look for, but he was way too hip to be a true white guy. Yeah, he loved the Grateful Dead, but he strikes you as the kind of guy that the black guys would invite into their hotel room to smoke weed with them and not acknowledge the fact that he was the token white guy. Like they wouldn't call him "The White _____," they'd just call him Bill.



John Stockton ABSOLUTELY had that pinkness, he played in Mormon country, he had a Republican hair-cut and he was a stead-fast hot-pants guy throughout his career. THAT's white.



Mark Madsen would hit the My Little Pony pink level when he was angry. And just playing, he had kind of a sickly, desert pallor salmon tint to him. Personally...I think Mark Madsen should be number one.




How was Brian "RandolphKeys' brother" Scalabrine excluded???

Gingers aren't white.

[ClevelandRocks8]

Where's the love for Scals?

[Randolphkeys]

Madsen is in for dancing ability alone.

GIFSoup

[JiggleIt]

Yeah Mad Dog comes hard with those tapered jeans too.

[nime]

[Randolphkeys]

Strong take, Nime.

Guidinger and Dreiling look utterly terrified on those basketball cards. That is an important attribute for a white baller: You should look completely frightened out there. Is that Milos Babic stylin' on top? That guy is blacker than Miles Davis on the inside. He should be removed immediately.


I'm always a fan of Brad Lohaus, just because he was unstoppable on NBA Jam. Certainly one of the best video game athletes of my lifetime.