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2019 Cleveland Browns Training Camp

DirtyDan

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The Human Q-Tip

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I think you guys are selling Mack short.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's outsnapping one of Kirksey/Schobert by the end of the season.

I'm excited for what he brings to the modern NFL.
He'd have to improve significantly in terms of his run support to replace either of those guys. Right now, he looks actually bad at it, and he wasn't good at it in college either.
 

Juice Is Loose

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I like deadspin sometimes, not one of those times. Just not a compelling argument for why the Browns are gonna suck. It's best summed up as: The Browns have a voodoo curse and Browns' fans are insufferable because they have genuine hope and excitement.

Lazy shit
You do realize this is a yearly article where the writer roasts all 32 teams. If the Browns article upsets you, be glad we’re not the Redskins. It’s satire, laugh a little
 

DirtyDan

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You do realize this is a yearly article where the writer roasts all 32 teams. If the Browns article upsets you, be glad we’re not the Redskins. It’s satire, laugh a little
These are the same Browns who never get a play call right, who never develop any quarterback properly, who never keep a head coach around for longer than the average grade school recess period lasts, and who lose every replay challenge, fumble, and game itself. All the fucking time. These are the same Browns you’ve always known and the only Browns you ever WILL know.
I understand the concept and have read the other WYTS. Shit like that passage got to me

Maybe I should be grateful that they're going after character than anything related to the game :chuckle:
 
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The Human Q-Tip

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I like deadspin sometimes, not one of those times. Just not a compelling argument for why the Browns are gonna suck. It's best summed up as: The Browns have a voodoo curse and Browns' fans are insufferable because they have genuine hope and excitement.

Lazy shit
I'm sure the writer is congratulating himself on his own razor-sharp wit, and his knowing, worldly sarcasm, but...yeah.

Lazy shit.
 

DirtyDan

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I'm sure the writer is congratulating himself on his own razor-sharp wit, and his knowing, worldly sarcasm, but...yeah.

Lazy shit.
I just didn't consider the intent and got caught up in the rhetoric. You know, becoming the type of fan they're trying to poke fun at.

Deadspin's edgy writing style is more my speed, but to each their own. What sports/browns coverage do you prefer?
 

King Stannis

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I'm sure the writer is congratulating himself on his own razor-sharp wit, and his knowing, worldly sarcasm, but...yeah.

Lazy shit.
Yeah, his down-playing the Browns chances of the playoffs because they share a division with the declining Steelers and moribund Ravens is just sloppy and probably boilerplate.
 

blommen

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Just to be clear, we have all accepted and acknowledged that the purpose of the article, as with all the other articles posted in that series, is to purposefully try and dunk on the teams, right?

It’s a roast, it’s supposed to be mean, let’s get the fuck over it and not treat it like some scorching analysis of the 2019 Browns.
 

TopGun

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I’d be shocked if he’s ahead of a healthy Schobert.
In the latest Building the Browns, he was basically laughing at Takitaki for having to study the playbook more so he can make the calls as the QB of the defense. That implies to me that Wilson has a lot of work to do mentally before he's ready to take Joe's spot.
 

The Human Q-Tip

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I just didn't consider the intent and got caught up in the rhetoric. You know, becoming the type of fan they're trying to poke fun at.

Deadspin's edgy writing style is more my speed, but to each their own. What sports/browns coverage do you prefer?
I don't think that particular article really qualifies as actual "coverage" - it's really just an attempt to be funny.
Just to be clear, we have all accepted and acknowledged that the purpose of the article, as with all the other articles posted in that series, is to purposefully try and dunk on the teams, right?

It’s a roast, it’s supposed to be mean, let’s get the fuck over it and not treat it like some scorching analysis of the 2019 Browns.
I just don't think it actually is funny. It reads more like something that some frat guys would sit around saying that's only funny if you're as drunk as they are.
 

blommen

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I don't think that particular article really qualifies as actual "coverage" - it's really just an attempt to be funny.


I just don't think it actually is funny. It reads more like something that some frat guys would sit around saying that's only funny if you're as drunk as they are.
Oh I agree, it’s more mean than funny, but most roasts end up that way which is why they’re usually never that funny either.

Most of the things listed in the article are things that have been discussed here, several times. The beginning did kinda make me smile though:

Your 2018 record: 7-8-1. And now, ladies and gentlemen, a set-up … The Browns gave up on both Corey Coleman and Josh Gordon, trading them away. They fired the head coach before they even reached midseason, and dismissed their redass of an offensive coordinator too. To be interim head coach, they promoted a guy who is a disgraced bounty hunter, a hilarious liar, and who blames players for their own injuries. They had to cut their starting LB after he got caught doing insider trading. They lost to the Raiders, who are like the Browns now but louder. The world learned that they once called Cameron Jordan to tell him they were drafting him when they meant to call Jordan Cameron instead (the former had already been drafted three rounds prior).

The set-up continues … The Browns were poised to beat a juggernaut Saints team, starring that same Cameron Jordan, only to be undone by their idiot kicker. They could only salvage a tie with the hated Steelers in part because they got boned by the roughing the passer rule and its illegalization of gravity. They got blown off by a hard-up Dez Bryant looking for work. They lost four in a row at one point, including dropping one to the Bucs. Their O-line coach turned out to be a fucking package store clerk. They leaked to Adam Schefter that they would try to interview Condoleezza Rice for head coach (they then denied the report; Rice said she had no interest). Everyone got Tyrod Taylor’s name wrong. Isaiah Crowell, then a Jet, wiped his ass with the ball and then threw it at their fans.

That was the set-up. Now for the punchline: This was best season the Browns have had in a dozen years. The standard for them is lower than the standard for Trump giving a speech after a hospital has exploded.
Aside from the Trump joke at the end which is a bit hacky, I think that joke totally works. The premise works: The Browns season last year, in a vaccuum, was a fucking train wreck and it was still the best season in ages. If the writer had stuck with that premise throughout the entire article about how Browns fans were gonna be peeing their pants about playing .500 football, all the while deifying their Larry the Cable Guy-ass rookie head coach, their beer can eating super hero fratboy of a QB and weirdo diva of a star WR, I think you can make some decent punchlines around that. But, as with most roasts, they end up being too focused on trying to "cut deep" and make people go "Oooooooh" instead of, oh I don't know, "haha".
 
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