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A Half-Century of Suck -- the Cavaliers All-Stiff Team

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The Human Q-Tip

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Well, at least some of you guys voted, and now we have our winners. Or losers. The worst of the worst. The high vote-getter is the starter, reserves after that. We didn't do a GM, nor an owner. But the owner was a slam-dunk (pun intended) anyway, and since he was the driving force behind deals and not just a pocketbooks guy, he counts as the Acting GM. So with that said:

The Cleveland Cavaliers Half-Century All-Stiff Team:​

Owner/Acting GM: Ted Stepien


Head Coach: Byron Scott
First Assistant: John Beilein.


Center: DeSagana Diop
Chris Mihm
Milos Babic


Power Forward: Anthony Bennett -- I could see Stepien trading away every future pick he had to get this guy.
Samardo Samuels
Luke Harangody


Small Forward: Jiri Welsch
Omri Casspi
Ira Newble


Shooting Guard: Christian Eyenga
Dion Waiters
Dajaun Wagner


Point Guard: Jeremy Pargo
Milt Palacio
Eric Snow

My favorite part of this is that Milos Babic is so bad that he couldn't even get off the bench on the All-Stiff team. For any of you others who saw him play, you have my condolences. But at least he's a part of history.
 
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That bench unit with Snow, Wagner, Newble, Harangody, and Babic is next-level shit.

Those guys may not even hit 30 ppg. Total.

And check out that second team: Mihm, Samuels, Casspi, Waiters, and Palacio. Dion is going to snap, and I think only 3 of those guys are getting back off the floor alive. Max.
 
Waiters would average 30 points per game on like 45 shots as 6th man. And I actually feel bad for Newble. He sucked, but I'd say he's the least worst of the bunch.

I had thought the same about Newble initially, but advanced stats at least are very unkind to the guy. Career negative VORP and BPM. And in 2003-04, he was particularly horrible. A true shooting percentage of 42.9%, and the advanced stats say he was negative defensively as well.

ETA: He obviously wasn't much of a shooter, but I think what really killed him in addition to that was his inability/unwillingness to score at the rim. Not only did it let guys play him up closely, but it meant that he rarely got to the line.
 
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Harangody gave 100% max effort every game and still wound up on the all-stiff team. You hate to see it. :chuckle:

That's kind of why he was always fun to watch. Guy gave it everything he had, but still looked more like a football than basketball guy.
 
I'm not 100% sure, but I think Newble injured Kobe twice when the Cavs faced the Lakers. I remember him sliding his foot under Kobe's ankle that caused Kobe to go back to the locker room (at least to re-tape it, I think?). Does anyone else remember that?
 
I'm not 100% sure, but I think Newble injured Kobe twice when the Cavs faced the Lakers. I remember him sliding his foot under Kobe's ankle that caused Kobe to go back to the locker room (at least to re-tape it, I think?). Does anyone else remember that?

Now that you mentioned it....I sure do. Definitely bonus stiff points if you happen to injure a superstar. Just found one of those incidents:

 
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Ope, Wagner is on the IR, forever, with a bad kidney.

Looks like Waiters will have to take even more shots.
 
Waiters would average 30 points per game on like 45 shots as 6th man. And I actually feel bad for Newble. He sucked, but I'd say he's the least worst of the bunch.

Whenever I hear the name Ira Newble, this is always the first thing to come to mind:

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Speaking of, did anybody bring up Mike Dunleavy and the ~20 game stretch he had here in '16-'17? Dude was straight garbo here.
 

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