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All-Stiff Team -- Power Forward Poll

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"Big" Forward -- Which stiff is the stiffest?

  • John "Big Stiff" Lambert

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Keith "Wobbleknees" Lee

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Danny "Harpers" Ferry

    Votes: 2 7.1%
  • Richard ("Not George") Washington

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Leon "Meatball" Powe

    Votes: 4 14.3%
  • Anthony "I Still Can't Believe this Guy went No. 1 Overall" Bennett

    Votes: 23 82.1%
  • Samardo "Gimme a Sammich" Samuels

    Votes: 9 32.1%
  • Earl "The Schmearl" Clark

    Votes: 5 17.9%
  • Luke "Beady Eyes" Harangody

    Votes: 7 25.0%
  • Antawn Jamison

    Votes: 1 3.6%

  • Total voters
    28
  • Poll closed .

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Fat guys who can't jump, stretch 4's who can't shoot, power forwards with no power...the Cavs have seen them all. So cast your vote for the worst of the worst! Feel free to cut and paste profiles from the All-Stiff Nomination Thread, and consider carefully the awfulness of each of these stiffs before casting your vote. Please vote for 3.

Just as a disclaimer, I don't think Ferry really belongs here, but he was nominated so I put him in.
 
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Because Anthony Bennett may well run away with this -- which is why we're voting for 3 so we can fill out that bench -- I'm going to draw attention to someone else --

The worst kind of stiff is the guy who looks like he can play, and tricks you into thinking he can be something worthwhile only to disappoint...again, and again. That was Earl Clark. Clark was a well-build 6-10 PF who was the No. 14 overall pick in the 2009 draft. When the Cavs acquired him for the 2013-14 season, he still looked like an NBA player. He just didn't play like one.

In 45 games, including 17 starts, in 2013-14, Clark averaged 5.2 ppg and 2.8 rpg. It was like he was in the wrong place on every single possession on both ends of the court, a "skill" that managed to earn him a PER of just 8.6 for that season. Here's Clark making his move to the basket for a thunderous dunk.

It didn't end well.

 
Because Anthony Bennett may well run away with this -- which is why we're voting for 3 so we can fill out that bench -- I'm going to draw attention to someone else --

The worst kind of stiff is the guy who looks like he can play, and tricks you into thinking he can be something worthwhile only to disappoint...again, and again. That was Earl Clark. Clark was a well-build 6-10 PF who was the No. 14 overall pick in the 2009 draft. When the Cavs acquired him for the 2013-14 season, he still looked like an NBA player. He just didn't play like one.

In 45 games, including 17 starts, in 2013-14, Clark averaged 5.2 ppg and 2.8 rpg. It was like he was in the wrong place on every single possession on both ends of the court, a "skill" that managed to earn him a PER of just 8.6 for that season. Here's Clark making his move to the basket for a thunderous dunk.

It didn't end well.


Reminds me that I should've nominated Marquese Chriss for this. He did Earl Clark's memory proud last season.
 
Reminds me that I should've nominated Marquese Chriss for this. He did Earl Clark's memory proud last season.

They could have been twins -- both of them ran like they had a stick jammed up their asses.
 
Anthony Bennett running away with this one...not exactly a surprise.
 
Keith Lee was a guy who was a tremendous talent as a college freshman and went downhill (gained weight, started fouling, didn't learn a thing). That made him the perfect target for the Cavaliers. We traded away Oakley & passed on the Mailman to grab this guy.

In other words, this guy wasn't a natural stiff -- he had to work at being a stiff. I don't know if that is worth more or less points in this particular competition.

In terms of pure stiffness Anthony Bennett can't be beat -- although arguably the stiff in that case was the GM, not Bennett.
 
Looking over the list, can we remove the word "power" from the title and replace it with "big"?
 
Looking over the list, can we remove the word "power" from the title and replace it with "big"?

After due consideration, I changed the title on the poll. Too lazy to change the thread title, though.
 
Oh, Antawn Jamison.

The trade that happened a year too late.
 
I know there's no official definition, so to each their own, but I've always thought that for somebody to be a stiff they actually had to play significant minutes.

For that reason, I cannot vote for Bennett.

Ferry, Jamison, Clark got my votes.
 
I know there's no official definition, so to each their own, but I've always thought that for somebody to be a stiff they actually had to play significant minutes.

For that reason, I cannot vote for Bennett.

Ferry, Jamison, Clark got my votes.

Ferry played more minutes that just about anyone.

But are you sure you've not mixing up Clark and Bennett in terms of playing time? Bennett was here for nearly three full seasons. He played in over 130 games, started 90, and played 2100+ minutes for the Cavs. That's pretty significant.

Clark wasn't even here for a single full season. He played in only 45 games, started only 17, and played less than 700 total minutes.
 
Ferry played more minutes that just about anyone.

But Bennett was here for nearly three full seasons. He played in over 130 games, started 90, and played 2100+ minutes for the Cavs. That's pretty significant.

Clark wasn't even here for a single full season. He played in only 45 games, started only 17, and played less than 700 total minutes.
Bennet only played his rookie season here, also under 700 minutes at 12.8 per game across 52 games with no starts
 
Bennet only played his rookie season here, also under 700 minutes at 12.8 per game across 52 games with no starts

Ah -- I thought you met Winston Bennett. My bad.

I get your point. Personally, I think being the first overall pick gets you over the threshold. Because it wasn't like Anthony Bennett was some undrafted schmuck who never really got off the bench. He was given every single possible opportunity to get a spot. It's just that he sucked so incredibly bad that he couldn't get more playing time despite being the No. 1 overall.

But those criteria are subjective, so I can't say you're wrong. He really didn't play that much.
 
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Ah -- I thought you met Winston Bennett. My bad.

I get your point. Personally, I think being the first overall pick gets you over the threshold. Because it wasn't like he was some undrafted schmuck who never really got off the bench. He was given every single possible opportunity to get a spot. It's just that he sucked so incredibly bad that he couldn't get more playing time despite being the No. 1 overall.

But those criteria are subjective, so I can't say you're wrong. He really didn't play that much.
He's not even on the list :chuckle:

But yeah, that's why I said there's no real true definition. I just feel like being a stiff is different than being terrible.

Bennett is undoubtedly on the all-time terrible team. But guys like Shawnelle Scott, Coby Karl, and Martynas Andriuskevicius would also qualify then :chuckle: since they couldn't even get on the court.

EDIT: In hindsight, I should have nominated Donyell Marshall
 

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