Autism Speaks

[Lee]

My nephew has Aspergers, with the right guidance and parent in education, they can be functional and productive independent members of society.

They are a bit different than their classmates, but they are the sweetest and most loving kids. I wish you luck and PM me if you need any help.

 

[The Oi]

What was he like as an infant? Were there any signs then?

I think most parents are vigilant about this and many other things with their babies, as am I. My son is very happy, smiles a lot and is very verbal and social. But it's my understanding that doesn't necessarily mean a damn thing and they can regress.

 

[Randolphkeys]

What was he like as an infant? Were there any signs then?

If I knew the flapping were a common sign, we could have been on top of this a little sooner. When it's all said and done, I don't think knowing any earlier than his age would have made much difference. He will be seeing some specialists for speech and behavior, but the key is getting this diagnosis before kindergarten. Schools will be able to allocate more help for him now.

That's just my understanding, I've only been learning about this for a few months.

 

[Lee]

If I knew the flapping were a common sign, we could have been on top of this a little sooner. When it's all said and done, I don't think knowing any earlier than his age would have made much difference. He will be seeing some specialists for speech and behavior, but the key is getting this diagnosis before kindergarten. Schools will be able to allocate more help for him now.

That's just my understanding, I've only been learning about this for a few months.

My Brother went into educational law in Ohio because of his sons "special" needs. Fighting the school to get what your child needs and deserves is a challenge sometimes but i am more than willing to help you if you need it. I can pick my brother's brain for you for free.

 

[gourimoko]

So my son, affectionately called "Thor" by the long-time members, was diagnosed with autism last Friday. Obviously this has been a weird few months... I think I actually made a TASTELESS joke about " ass-full of Asperger's Syndrome" less than two years ago. Whelp, I'm on the wrong side of the joke now.

The process has been rough on the wife and me, just because it all begins with strangers telling us our boy isn't normal. And it builds, and eventually we start seeing the signs, but we don't want to see them. It isn't easy. The cool thing is that on intelligence tests that correspond to the ASD testing (Autism Spectrum Deficiency - that's what it is called since 2013) our Thor is very high functioning, very high intelligence, but without a doubt on "the spectrum."

So I was wondering what other members have experienced with this diagnosis, or any questions you have with the "Autism Spectrum." I need more reasons to research the answers.

Thanks for reading...

God Bless you and your family Keys..

In my personal experience, there was a time where I was the legal guardian of an autistic young man who had gotten into some trouble.

We had, and still have a very close relationship to this day. He's family to me.

All I ever told him was that, he could do whatever it is he set his mind to. I talked to him about science, mathematics, politics, and he had a great affinity to the subjects; far more than others might.

My heart goes out to you and yours, man. Seriously. It can be trying, I'm sure, but in my limited experience it was never overbearing or something I felt that I just couldn't handle. But at the same time, he wasn't my son, even if I was charged with the responsibilities associated with it.

Everyone's situation is different, and I really don't have much to add other than that.

Wishing you the best man...

 

[Adam]

What was he like as an infant? Were there any signs then?

I think most parents are vigilant about this and many other things with their babies, as am I. My son is very happy, smiles a lot and is very verbal and social. But it's my understanding that doesn't necessarily mean a damn thing and they can regress.

IIRC signs start to manifest after 2 years old. Before then there is no clear pattern the CDC has some good epidemiological breakdowns for the US here

 

[Randolphkeys]

s there any verbalizations with the arm flapping?

Usually not, but he gets so excited his face is trembling. Sometimes he belts out an "Ooooohhhhh," we encourage him to explain what he is feeling what excites him. Some of these symptoms are lessening, I'm sure some tendencies will always be with him.

BTW: Really glad to hear from people with so much more experience than I do. Inspiring stuff.

 

[oracio]

@Randolphkeys, we don't know each other but I wanted to tell you that it's my work and passion to bring solutions for parents to autistic children.
This is what I do in the special research institute I work for.
I can't elaborate too much but I really hope that in few years you and other families like yours could have different reality and future…
This is what I wake up for and with this I go to bed.
And in the meanwhile I wish you all the best!

 

[MGMT]

I've spent a pretty significant amount of time around people who have autism coupled with mild MR. (Yes, mental retardation -- it's my field). I wish I could give you all the advice you need; I wish that this post would actually be helpful. All I'll say is this: it's really important that you ensure eye-contact is made when communicating -- from what I experience, it is incredibly difficult to have a conversation with men and women with autism when not looking he or she directly in the eyes throughout the entire duration of the conversation. Doing otherwise can lead to being ignored (which is obviously something you shouldn't take personally)

It is also important to speak in absolutes rather than make ambiguous statements; this is known to bring anxiety since the aforementioned populace has difficulty coping with not knowing answers.

Try to keep questions confined to warranting "yes or no," for what it's worth.

He's your son; I know you're always going to look him in the eyes when you're speaking to him; the more I think about it, I feel that advice was moot.

I see a lot of families in the agency for which I work that have dedicated their entire life to their loved ones. I see widowed mothers in their early 90s still driving their 58-year old non-verbal son to our facility.

There is no reward for being a person that endures this sort of process; but you and your wife will always have a mirror

I'm sorry, I know this was probably wasn't helpful but I sincerely wish you the best.

 

[Randolphkeys]

Thanks to everyone who responded. As he is getting older, he is coping with his sensitivity to stimuli better. He can have conversations with me where he reveals things he did that day, his likes and dislikes.

But, I'm his dad and I've worked on it for two years. Last summer I stopped teaching the community college course during the summer to make stronger connections with him. I noticed that he reacts really well to giving him steps. He would have tantrums at night, mostly relating to going to preschool. I started making the next day a three step process, then having him repeat the three steps back to me. It made overwhelming things he doesn't like easier for him to process, including some kind of reward after step 3. And changing my plan for what is going to happen that day? Forget about it, he would lose his temper right away.

I agree the eye contact is huge. A few months ago I've taken to talking to him with our noses actually touching if he isn't looking at me, which always makes him laugh. Again, he is my first so when I was doing all this extra parenting, I thought everyone with a 2 year old was also doing it. Looking back, the diagnosis made more sense.

Jigo was asking about early signs. I also recently found out that cranial size is a big indicator. He was always in the 90th percentile in head size since birth, which I attributed to his parents being super brainy. But, now I've learned that was an indicator.

Again, loving the tips from professionals who have been doing this for a while. Thanks.

 

[The Oi]

See, here's the thing. Has Keys really described anything that ALL little kids don't do?

That's not a dig at Keys at all. Just the more I keep reading, the more I'm noticing these autism symptoms are things that all little kids do.

 

[oracio]

See, here's the thing. Has Keys really described anything that ALL little kids don't do?

That's not a dig at Keys at all. Just the more I keep reading, the more I'm noticing these autism symptoms are things that all little kids do.

Autism is a spectrum, there are severe cases where you know from just a quick look that there is something different with the kid and there are cases where it is difficult to notice, that what makes it a "spectrum".
It is also known that in some cases the children develop normally for the first year or so and then suddenly the child regress or get "locked" in their world. A lot of parents describe the phenomenon as a "kidnap".
And I guess this is why for years people thought the children's vaccine was the culprit of Autism, because of the sudden regression that happens around the vaccine's age.
Autism is though and comes with many shades of manifestations that is why it is difficult to put the finger on it...

 

[The Oi]

Autism is a spectrum, there are severe cases where you know from just a quick look that there is something different with the kid and there are cases where it is difficult to notice, that what makes it a "spectrum".
It is also known that in some cases the children develop normally for the first year or so and then suddenly the child regress or get "locked" in their world. A lot of parents describe the phenomenon as a "kidnap".
And I guess this is why for years people thought the children's vaccine was the culprit of Autism, because of the sudden regression that happens around the vaccine's age.
Autism is though and comes with many shades of manifestations that is why it is difficult to put the finger on it...

Is it possible kids like Thor get misdiagnosed by the doctors who just turn out to be overestimating typical kid behaviors? Psych has a reputation for forcing a lot of labels on people/kids who might just be developing differently than their peers.

Getting overwhelmed by too much stimuli, throwing tantrums about school, needing things to be laid out in steps and flapping arms are things I've seen or heard almost all parents describing.

I know that the flapping without communicating is a big autism stim (sp?), but I just feel like I'm seeing Keys describe a normal kid.

Again...I'm certain Keys won't take this the wrong way. I'm just curious and have never actually known or experienced an autistic kid.

 

[Randolphkeys]

See, here's the thing. Has Keys really described anything that ALL little kids don't do?

That's not a dig at Keys at all. Just the more I keep reading, the more I'm noticing these autism symptoms are things that all little kids do.

Yeah, I can say that there is a slight difference, and I'd encourage people to get their kid checked by a professional if they are seeing concerning signs. This isn't like checking your kid for an ear infection or the flu. Leave it to the professionals instead of self-diagnosing.

A lot of little 2-4 year olds don't STOP talking about what they like and don't like. They seek out attention constantly. My son has always preferred playing off in a corner with his own toys, doesn't interact too much with other kids unless he is feeling brave. He also doesn't communicate his needs, which has made potty training a huge challenge. We can practice telling mommy what we did on an adventure for 20 minutes, then when his own mom comes home, he won't say a word about the day he spent with me.

Again, some of these things are probably going to be happening with kids who aren't on the spectrum. But, after reading up on the signs, it is clear that my son's behavior is consistent with the disorder. So, I'm taking him to specialists to help him cope with it, that's about it. What harm comes from having him learn coping techniques?

 

[The Oi]

Zero harm @Randolphkeys. Would do the same in your shoes. Just new concept to me and curious as a new parent myself.