Autism Speaks

[Hurl Bruce]

I always feel for the parents of the kids I work with. Some of them do a lot on their end and some don't. Regardless, all of them have to work to manage their kid's and their own lives. Some just like having 4 hours of their day where they don't have to do anything...and I get that. It's hard.

I don't judge (as best I can) because I get to go home and not worry about that kiddo for another week.

 

[Sebastian]

That said I just got a call from my wife. It was their annual take your kid to work day, and my son had a meltdown. She's on her way home with him now, taking a half day. The team working under her got all pissy because they needed her help but my son was there, all hopped up on the soda and doughnuts the company provided. In my book, my kid is seven, ASD and lost it being in a cubicle for four hours. I don't know their excuse. Do your damn job independently one day out of the damn year.

Always an adventure.

What idiots. If you can't do your job alone or without help in a pinch then you suck at your job.

 

[Randolphkeys]

Hey, I have a question for the dads out there.

My eldest is in third grade now. I just looked through this thread and I'm living the best case scenario. He is in mainstream classes in Math and Science because he is one of "those Autistic kids" who has great academic skills but struggles with some of the other social stuff - he has involuntary "stimming" where he physically releases excitement, doesn't pick up on social cues as well as neurotypical kids,
etc. So overall, no complaints he is doing great.

Here's the part where I could use help from people who raised kids: He told his mom and me that he has a crush. She is another kid with some learning disabilities who he has been in an afterschool program with for three years. I see how they interact, and he does have a shot. Honestly, I saw that she was kind of into him, but I didn't know what goes on in his brain most of the time.

So basically, what should a dad do when his son reveals he has a crush. My wife wanted to set up a play date with her mom. I wasn't so sure on that just yet. I did find out that he told a mutual friend in the program that he said "I think I'm in love with ____." I have talked to him about not using those words, and saying "I got a crush on _____". The lack of social cues is tricky. I also told him to keep talking to her and asking her about her interests... which Id say to anyone who has a crush.

So again, please advise on how to deal with this from a dad perspective. Thanks in advance!

 

[Lee]

Hey, I have a question for the dads out there.

My eldest is in third grade now. I just looked through this thread and I'm living the best case scenario. He is in mainstream classes in Math and Science because he is one of "those Autistic kids" who has great academic skills but struggles with some of the other social stuff - he has involuntary "stimming" where he physically releases excitement, doesn't pick up on social cues as well as neurotypical kids,
etc. So overall, no complaints he is doing great.

Here's the part where I could use help from people who raised kids: He told his mom and me that he has a crush. She is another kid with some learning disabilities who he has been in an afterschool program with for three years. I see how they interact, and he does have a shot. Honestly, I saw that she was kind of into him, but I didn't know what goes on in his brain most of the time.

So basically, what should a dad do when his son reveals he has a crush. My wife wanted to set up a play date with her mom. I wasn't so sure on that just yet. I did find out that he told a mutual friend in the program that he said "I think I'm in love with ____." I have talked to him about not using those words, and saying "I got a crush on _____". The lack of social cues is tricky. I also told him to keep talking to her and asking her about her interests... which Id say to anyone who has a crush.

So again, please advise on how to deal with this from a dad perspective. Thanks in advance!

I wish i had good news for you, my nephew he is now 18 was diagnosed with Aspergers, now of course its "Functional Autism". While i have a 6th grade son, and 10th grade daughter, they have never asked for advise, although my daughter did come out as LGBTQ (Bi) 2 years ago and has had a few brief relationships, (2 gf's and 1 bf), but i seem to be the last to know.

What i will do is warn you about how bad the inappropriate social skills leads to really bad behavior. My nephew got kicked out of camp at age 12 for grabbing a girls breasts he liked because of the lack of impulse control. You need to teach your son keep your hands to yourself at all times, and give him adivice to a tee on how to act around a girl he likes even when she likes you back. I know you are a teacher, but my nephew has been really difficult at times and probably has worse social issues than your son.

As for how i deal with my kids sexuality, i am always honest and try not to give too much advice, kids "date" different these days its mainly social media and texting crap, but my daughter does start to drive in 6 months, then i am in trouble. At least she most likely show up pregnant as she seems to be more into girls, lol.

 

[CleveRocks]

It's pretty normal to have a crush, but at his age, he can be vulnerable. You can discuss with him what makes a friend, girl or boy.. that is someone you can talk to and trust. So before girl friend and boyfriend, becomes learning how to be a friend. So practice that, and understand that she is also learning how to do that..

I have a nephew on the spectrum, who struggles with inapropriate behavior with girls. He essentially plays victim to get close to girls then hits on them unexpectedly.. his parents are sexually repressive so he hid the behavior, but he started hitting on his cousins and they talked to their parents.... His parents have responded with religious teachings, which further repressed his sexuality, and now he is a hot mess..

If he is talking to you about what he is feeling, you are lucky..keeping things open is the most important thing...

 

[Hurl Bruce]

My company has a social skills group that meets after school during the year. They teach kids socially appropriate ways to interact with people in various situations. There's a lot of modeling and role playing.

It may seem a bit awkward, but modeling appropriate behavior might be your best bet. Role-playing too.

Hey, at least he's not at the age where there is the potential for sexual activity! Then, I don't recommend modeling!

 

[The Oi]