From the AP
New Cavs GM Danny Ferry wasted no time making his first big move in the free agent market. Shortly after 4pm today the new face of the Cavaliers front office made the following stunning announcement:
”After thoroughly exploring the free agents available in our effort to find the outside shooting we so desperately need, I am pleased to announce I have signed myself to an offer sheet of 1 year at $28 million. I am confident this move is in the team’s best interests, and will provide the necessary elements to take us to the next level. Not only does this move address our immediate needs, it provides us with long term cap flexibility.”
”We will be running a set offense, where LeBron and three players dressed like LeBron will run an intricate set of picks and screens. The opponent, not knowing which LeBron is the real LeBron, will be forced to guard all of them, leaving me wide open to bury three pointers from the top of the key.”
When asked how he could pass up top notch free agents like Ray Allen, Michael Redd, Joe Johnson and Larry Hughes to sign an over the hill industrial-sized phallic symbol, Ferry responded “According to published reports I am the next Larry Bird. I’d have to be a fool not to sign me!”
”In all seriousness though” Ferry continued, “how could you not see this coming?”
The new contract makes Ferry the second highest paid player in the NBA, behind Shaquille O'neal. When asked how it felt to be in such esteemed company, Ferry responded "It only seems fair. My first tour in Cleveland was incredibly stressful, and I feel the organization owes me. That's 1 million for every hair I have left on my head."
This second stint with the Cavaliers will allow Ferry to build upon his current club record of 723 games played. He is also second in both three-pointers made and attempted (543-of-1,409), fifth in 3PT-FG percentage (.385), sixth in minutes played (15,045), seventh in FT percentage (.841), ninth in blocks (253) and 10th in rebounds (2,162) in 10 seasons with the club.
If I could give rep points to Danny Ferry I would!