Insecurities

[David.]

<grabs mic>

"So how many yall like sex? "

 

[gourimoko]

That buying a house ($135k nothing special) and wasting the little money I had on home repairs and going further into debt made it extremely financially difficult for me to afford children.

How old are you? Has the equity improved on your home after the repairs? Are you married? Your a man so don't really have a biological clock so to speak...

That my family views me as a failure because I'm choosing to pay off my student debt vs having kids.

Sounds like you made the right decision to me homie.

That my relationships all end prematurely because I'm choosing to pay off my student debt vs having kids.

Who are these women that are that thirsty to have kids before getting finances squared away? Again, sounds like you're making the right decisions even if people around you disagree.

It's amazing how two decisions can fuck up your life. Going to grad school and buying a starter home.

Did you finish grad school? Is your starter home a valuable asset? Are these really mistakes, or instead long-term investments in yourself and your future and your future family?

And somehow everyone tells me I should feel lucky because I'm not six figures in student debt.

Yes, because that'd fucking suck...

 

[QuadrupleDouble]

Jigo is also really insecure about his height. Always trying to show a bunch of forehead to make us think he’s taller than Deezy.

Also always tries to talk about what a man he is but can’t grow a mustache.

Classic small man’s disease.

Mine is always money and success. I’m not sure I’ll ever have enough to just feel comfortable. Another big one is having my kid want to live with her mom when she gets older.

 

[PIP]

Sometimes when I ask for a lime slice with my cocktail I feel a little weird.

Then I log into my RCF account and realize who the fuck I am.

 

[David.]

I'm insecure about how my dick is too big. It makes the rest of my body look disproportionately small. And it makes me wonder if any girl actuslly likes me for me or if it's just for my perfect dick

 

[Sebastian]

That buying a house ($135k nothing special) and wasting the little money I had on home repairs and going further into debt made it extremely financially difficult for me to afford children.

That my family views me as a failure because I'm choosing to pay off my student debt vs having kids. That my relationships all end prematurely because I'm choosing to pay off my student debt vs having kids.

It's amazing how two decisions can fuck up your life. Going to grad school and buying a starter home. And somehow everyone tells me I should feel lucky because I'm not six figures in student debt.

You have made the correct choices.

You can have kids any time.

Your family has a distorted view of reality. They are objectively incorrect.

You should kill them. Kill them now.

 

[Cavatt]

Is this s CIA opp to get us to reveal our weaknesses?

Mine is I am really suspicious.

 

[Lee]

<grabs mic>

"So how many yall like sex? "

Honestly that has been my last 2 years, using sex to get over my insecurities.

After the divorce I was lost, felt nothing was good enough, I am over weight, and felt bad about being attractive to women.

I make decent money, but that is less right now because my industry turned (but having best month of my career so far, so that is good).

All of this lead to a true midlife crisis and me fucking all types of woman including many half my age.

So that is very real, and a few months ago I recognized it was a true mid life crisis, so I have slowed down.

 

[The Oi]

@Cavatt

It’s just a thread for people to be honest about what they’re insecure about.

It’s easy to bash other people or build yourself up. Not as easy to lay out what your insecurities are and risk other people bashing you for them.

I mean if other people are gonna bash, I can’t stop them. But I won’t bash.

I’m just curious about why people do what they do and say what they say.

 

[Jack Brickman]

What do you guys do when you start really feeling your insecurities?

 

[DirtyDan]

My teeth are lightly stained, but just enough that tooth whitening doesn't really do anything for me. It hasn't hindered me when it comes to women or being confident, but I do avoid smiling with my teeth.

My face isn't very expressive. Which is great for deadpan humor, because people can't tell if I'm being serious or sarcastic. But it's annoying when I'm talking about something and my face isn't expressing how I actually feel.

 

[David.]

I've always worried abiut dying alone. At least single, never married.

It is strange dating as you get older, but I've got plenty of back up plans and lines of thought to protect myself in case it really doesn't happen for me, like adopting or doing volunteer work, big brothers etc. If I can't find someone that I can be with with a quiet mind, then it just isn't for me and it's just a pathology that I can't control. It's like being mad about not being able to fly. But there's hope. I like someone that likes me. It's not supposed to happen every day, and it happened when I ventured my ass away from the dating apps and created a bona-fide social life for myself.

I also really don't want to die alone still haha

 

[David.]

Honestly that has been my last 2 years, using sex to get over my insecurities.

After the divorce I was lost, felt nothing was good enough, I am over weight, and felt bad about being attractive to women.

I make decent money, but that is less right now because my industry turned (but having best month of my career so far, so that is good).

All of this lead to a true midlife crisis and me fucking all types of woman including many half my age.

So that is very real, and a few months ago I recognized it was a true mid life crisis, so I have slowed down.

Ive run through the same thing as you a couple handfuls of times. Idk if you think it's unhealthy for you or not but I started looking elsewhere for legit self esteem and social circle and now I really don't want to be bothered with dating unless it's particularly good. Life is a lot better that way, makes your interactions a lot better with women and the quality drastically rises. And it just makes a lot more sense on a macro level.

Do you think this is working for you?

 

[Lee]

Ive run through the same thing as you a couple handfuls of times. Idk if you think it's unhealthy for you or not but I started looking elsewhere for legit self esteem and social circle and now I really don't want to be bothered with dating unless it's particularly good. Life is a lot better that way, makes your interactions a lot better with women and the quality drastically rises. And it just makes a lot more sense on a macro level.

Do you think this is working for you?

Harder at my age to switch things. My circle got smaller when for various reason, 4 of my closes friends moved out of town. I am happy for them and the opportunities they are taking, but it has been tough.

I have truly dated some, more than just fuck, but truly dating can be even tougher as the older you get the more scars you have. If I date younger they still want kids, and I am done with that. Allot time when I date close to my age they are either to busy with kids, work and school or they act like they are 70 years old.

Plus I have a hard time finding someone who challenges me intellectually, most the smart ones are smart enough to not be single by my age, lol

But I have slowed down on the sex, but finding friends is tough when you work in a small office. I just need to do a better job of reaching out to the friends I haven't hung out with much lately, but then I get in a rut about leaving my house on the nights I don't have the kids, especially if I work the next day.

I will figure it out I guess, eventually I will meet someone.

Good news is my ex who I consider the love of my life called me today and she is going to be in phoenix for the first time in her life. Havent seen her in 20 years, she is now married with 3 kids and has a successful career as the had of HR of a medium sized company, Oh and she is terrified of doing something bad because she is still in love with me.

So dinner in 3 weeks on Friday night should be fun, lol

 

[David.]

Harder at my age to switch things. My circle got smaller when for various reason, 4 of my closes friends moved out of town. I am happy for them and the opportunities they are taking, but it has been tough.

I have truly dated some, more than just fuck, but truly dating can be even tougher as the older you get the more scars you have. If I date younger they still want kids, and I am done with that. Allot time when I date close to my age they are either to busy with kids, work and school or they act like they are 70 years old.

Plus I have a hard time finding someone who challenges me intellectually, most the smart ones are smart enough to not be single by my age, lol

But I have slowed down on the sex, but finding friends is tough when you work in a small office. I just need to do a better job of reaching out to the friends I haven't hung out with much lately, but then I get in a rut about leaving my house on the nights I don't have the kids, especially if I work the next day.

I will figure it out I guess, eventually I will meet someone.

Good news is my ex who I consider the love of my life called me today and she is going to be in phoenix for the first time in her life. Havent seen her in 20 years, she is now married with 3 kids and has a successful career as the had of HR of a medium sized company, Oh and she is terrified of doing something bad because she is still in love with me.

So dinner in 3 weeks on Friday night should be fun, lol

I don't know if this stuff is exactly transferable to az but no joke, meetup and rec sports leagues are absolutely amazing for social life. Bowling, etc. There are non stop softball leagues here - get assigned with 10 strangers every couple months. Hang out after the hour long pick up game and build a little circle and then get together for the next one. Etc.

Meetup is fantastic too. They have events sorted by age, by interest, etc etc. There are groups for philosophical discussions, just drinking, public speaking (toastmasters). Millions of people out there trying to find community and some people have made it easy for everyone with the apps etc