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Myles Garrett : NFL 2023 DPOY

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Myles seems like the kind of dude that would show up to your house to cuck you with a bottle of your favorite scotch and a bouquet of the freshest flowers for your wife and be extremely polite throughout the entire process while he pounds her ass through the wall. Thank you card on stationary in the mail one week later.

Miles comes over with the bouquette, gives you his 300-level paleontology book from college, complete with notes, then pops in a classic to watch with your wife: Jurassic Park. She's cuddling up to him, scared of the T-Rex, so predictable. He's of course leaning forward, totally engrossed in the mosquito frozen in time inside of a block of amber. Enough of this bullshit, Miles busts out his......












personal collection of amber from saplings in and around a fossil dig in Washington! Wife is confused, looks your way for some guidance. You look up and try to explain to her....











NOT NOW BITCH. FUCKING CHAPER 4 ON THE MESOZOIC ERA HAS GOT MY MIND SPINNING.

















wife leaves. with her suitcase.














Miles stays, you make him stir fry and you crack an egg into your rice, because protein. He eats it all although it was meant for both of you, but this is forgiven. You settle for a hot pocket, then doze off to find him tucking you in. He lets himself out. What a day.
 
Miles comes over with the bouquette, gives you his 300-level paleontology book from college, complete with notes, then pops in a classic to watch with your wife: Jurassic Park. She's cuddling up to him, scared of the T-Rex, so predictable. He's of course leaning forward, totally engrossed in the mosquito frozen in time inside of a block of amber. Enough of this bullshit, Miles busts out his......












personal collection of amber from saplings in and around a fossil dig in Washington! Wife is confused, looks your way for some guidance. You look up and try to explain to her....











NOT NOW BITCH. FUCKING CHAPER 4 ON THE MESOZOIC ERA HAS GOT MY MIND SPINNING.

















wife leaves. with her suitcase.














Miles stays, you make him stir fry and you crack an egg into your rice, because protein. He eats it all although it was meant for both of you, but this is forgiven. You settle for a hot pocket, then doze off to find him tucking you in. He lets himself out. What a day.

12/10

Would go viral
 
...and then your wife comes home in the middle of the night and says, "Am I home? I'm stoned out of my mind from hanging in a van with some seven foot guy who claims to be Myles Garrett's older brother. BTW, I'm definitely going to be pregnant with a baby with supergenes."
 
...and then your wife comes home in the middle of the night and says, "Am I home? I'm stoned out of my mind from hanging in a van with some seven foot guy who claims to be Myles Garrett's older brother. BTW, I'm definitely going to be pregnant with a baby with supergenes."

I don't get it. But @natedagg's post was so good, that I'm going to let this slide.
 
Hey, would you look at that...we have a face of the franchise.

Joe thomas will not go away that easily, and Peppers has an alpha personality too.

It was a very good draft imo though. Might end up being franchise changing. Especially if we pull of a miracle and Kizer works out.
 

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