65
Movie sucks. I was hoping it'd at least be a dumb, fun action movie. It's not. It's certainly dumb, but it ain't fun.
It was a bold creative choice to pair up Adam Driver with a girl who can't speak English for an entire fucking movie. There's almost no meaningful dialogue in the entire movie. It's baffling.
Further, part of the problem with a movie about Adam Driver and this kid he's trying to keep alive is that there's absolutely no sense of danger because you know neither of them is dying until at least the very end, and the kid is almost certainly not dying at all because this isn't the type of movie that's taking any risks. It would have worked much better if there were five or six characters so you might have a chance to get to like one or two of them before they're inevitably picked off in creative ways.
Also, the complete lack of practical effects just kills any investment in the movie. Everything looks very cheap and fake. The dinosaurs aren't scary, especially since we know they're not killing shit. They'll occasionally walk through a real forest for a few minutes, but as soon as they're in one of the dozen caves they go into during the movie, it looks like a set. It's the laziest filmmaking imaginable. Blockbuster by the numbers.
Oh, and the kid sucks. This isn't some little crazy badass like in Logan, or someone crass and funny like Ellie on The Last of Us. She has no personality, largely because she can barely communicate with the lead for the bulk of the movie. She's just there to be the cute kid without understanding that all the movies and shows that pulled off the cute kid trope did it because the kids were actual characters. The surrogate daughter trope only pans out if you care if the kid lives or dies. And I didn't care. At all. I wanted to see the T-Rex eat her just so I could watch Adam Driver pretend to suffer.
And can we stop trying to make Adam Driver happen? He's a fine actor, but he's just not made to be the leading man in an action movie. He feels out of place and unconvincing here, same as he did in Star Wars. They keep flashing back to his actual daughter like we're supposed to give a fuck too, which is insane because she has like thirty seconds of screen time at the start of the movie and leaves absolutely no impression.
There's an absolutely hilarious moment near the end of the movie where a T-Rex that Adam Driver shot half a dozen times forty minutes earlier shows up and they do this zoom in shot of his wounds and Driver realizes it was the one he pissed off earlier. Like it fucking matters, because a different T-Rex would have been just as dangerous. It literally has a staredown with him, though. I laughed out loud. It's the one moment in the movie I actually enjoyed. If the movie had been entirely dumb shit like that, it might have worked.
That's a lot more words than this movie deserves. Probably more than were in the fucking script. But man I hated this movie, and that's annoying because the premise could have been a lot of fun if anyone making it had cared just a little.
