Tips for keeping babies alive while maintaining sanity?

[The Oi]

On my 2nd.

She’s an asshole. Just like her brother. And her dad. And her mom.

Whole family full of assholes.

Couldn’t be happier.

This kid won’t save your relationship but unless you’re a sociopath (doesnt sound like you are), you’ll be one happy asshole too. Kids are exhausting, infuriating and...absolutely amazing.

Watch Parenthood when the kid is a few years old (the movie not the show). It’ll make a lot much clearer.

 

[CleveRocks]

Babyhood, by penelope leach.. this will tell you exactly what is happening..

Don't worry about inexperience..

Don't ever threaten or hit your kid.. It doesn't work, and it complicates everybodies future.. Montessori has the right idea..

You created this life, and your job for the first three years is to keep it from killing itself, while maintaining it's ability to function..

Like in the airplane, put on your oxygen before helping others.. .. You and your wife need to take care of yourself and each other to ensure you are able to care for the kids..

Even if you and your wife are separating, love and respect..That is the way forward..

 

[ZooCrewDude]

Get ready for decision making. Every minute is a new small decision that needs to be made... Should I change the diaper now or wait since she appears closed to sleep? Should I feed now or after nap? Does she need a bath now? Should I call the doctor about the spit up? And so on and so on. You’re mind doesn’t get a lot of breaks in the early going.

Just know that there’s a million ways to do it right and just handful of ways to really really do it wrong. Don’t get caught up in trying to be the perfect parent, or follow every piece of advice you read in a book or on the internet. If you care (clearly you do), if you love your child (you will), things will work out just fine.

Don’t beat yourself up and sweat the small decisions because they will consume you if you do. Don’t try to follow a script, because it doesn’t exist. You’ll be great! Enjoy the ride - as many have alluded to, it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but certainly the most rewarding.

 

[The Oi]

Get ready for decision making. Every minute is a new small decision that needs to be made... Should I change the diaper now or wait since she appears closed to sleep? Should I feed now or after nap? Does she need a bath now? Should I call the doctor about the spit up? And so on and so on. You’re mind doesn’t get a lot of breaks in the early going.

Just know that there’s a million ways to do it right and just handful of ways to really really do it wrong. Don’t get caught up in trying to be the perfect parent, or follow every piece of advice you read in a book or on the internet. If you care (clearly you do), if you love your child (you will), things will work out just fine.

Don’t beat yourself up and sweat the small decisions because they will consume you if you do. Don’t try to follow a script, because it doesn’t exist. You’ll be great! Enjoy the ride - as many have alluded to, it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but certainly the most rewarding.

Since you mentioned enjoying the ride...

@IWantAKouki

I hope this scene one day means as much to you as it always has to me. I think of it almost daily.

 

[Blink]

I have 3 girls. The oldest is about to turn 5, youngest just turned 1. On a related note, I am coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my vasectomy.

First thing first: start stocking up on easy meals yesterday. Think jambalaya, chili, shredded chicken. Stuff you can make in a crock pot, then freeze in quart bags. It's not great eating, but you aren't going to give two shits when you've slept 8 hours in the last 3 days.

The first 6 weeks or so are the hardest. Babies have their days and nights mixed up, so they will sleep all day and want to be awake all night. Definitely take shifts. You can hold a baby and play Xbox at the same time. Try to make it until about 3 AM, then pray you can both sleep for a couple hours at the same time before the other partner takes over. Eventually the nights will get better, and you will begin to get a feeding schedule down.

Pay attention when the nurses swaddle the baby in the hospital. Ask them to slow down and show you step by step. Babies aren't nearly as delicate as you imagine, and you can learn a lot from people who deal with newborns every day.

Last tip: white noise machine. Download an app on your phone, and play it to soothe the baby. You are going to have moments when the baby is inconsolable, and you are at your wits end trying to figure out what she wants. It can be something as simple as white noise that gets them down.

No one is ready for this. Some people think they are, but no one really is until it happens. Hang in there, doubting your ability as a parent is part of being a good parent.

 

[Sebastian]

Don't let Dingos near the baby.

@CavsSimmy

 

[Hurl Bruce]

 

[Simmy]

Don't let Dingos near the baby.

@CavsSimmy

Can confirm. Also, don't leave the baby alone in a holiday apartment at a resort in Praia da Luz.

In all seriousness, we're also going to hopefully begin trying next year. Wishing you all the best, @IWantAKouki. May this period in your life be nothing short of magical and unforgettable.

 

[Kouki]

Don't let Dingos near the baby.

@CavsSimmy

This little guy? He's going to be a great big brother! (And the husky a great big sister...maybe)

 

[Kouki]

And since this is the general @IWantAKouki complaint thread...f'in power went out yesterday after buying like $300 in groceries to meal prep for the baby so had to pack all that up to take to my brothers', and the wind took out 3 sections of my fence..

 

[dkbldev]

I have 2 little ones, a girl at 2.5 years and a boy who is almost 5 months. When. We had our first, we found out that keeping a schedule is key. We bathed her every night before putting her down just so would understand that it is bedtime. We also had a sound machine. Another reference to use is "Taking Cara baby". The lady is really good at giving simple techniques that will help, especially with putting her to sleep.

If you guys are doing formula, dont be afraid to switch it up of she isnt taking it. Some kids are more sensitive and may not like certain ones.

Our little guy has a dairy allergen and also has acid reflux. If your daughter has acid reflux...I pray for you guys.

Last thing, there will be times you may want to throw her out the window (daughter, not wife), it is normal because of the lack of sleep, you arent mentally right. Obviously dont do anything stupid but remember that she is crying for a reason and not crying just to cry. It sucks but gets so much better around 4 months.

 

[JDailey23]

About 6 years ago here in WV we had a big storm run through. Knocked the power out for
9 days and we had a 6 month old. Worst and best 9 days ever.
As a parent, you find out what is and isn’t important.
You’ll learn what to and not to do when it matters.
It sucked but made me a better father, husband and man for my family.
Wouldn’t change it if I could.

 

[Sebastian]

Don't ever threaten or hit your kid.. It doesn't work, and it complicates everybodies future.. Montessori has the right idea..

This is so true. I still hold it against my parents for their carrot stick and the stick method to solve every situation. For holding grudges, being petty and not being the adults when they should have been ("When you were 10 you told me you didn't want my help with math, so I didn't give you any, even when it meant crippling your ACT score.").

It creates rebellion in the child, and opposite syndromes that may not be the best for the kid in the long-term; it lingers into young adulthood. It affects their choices. A kid needs someone they can trust from day one. That becomes impossible when violence or threats are the cornerstone of the relationship.

A kid, no matter how smart, or seemingly in-control and worldly, will always, always, need your guidance, support and interest in their activities even if they profess to not want any of the three. Be the adult. It matters, maybe not now, maybe not in ten years, but it will play a large role in your child's life for decades to come.

 

[Kouki]

Baby Mae born at 3:40AM. We got to the hospital at midnight and she was already 6cm dilated. Everything went as smoothly as you could hope for. I did not realize I would be holding a leg during the pushing phase. I suppose I could have opted out but I stuck with it. Baby heads look super malleable in this situation which freaked me out. I tend to get lightheaded in these situations. In highschool I almost fainted when my girlfriend got her bellybutton pierced.

And now to sleep. Including Sunday night I have slept < 5 hours due to anxiety. I was at my brothers and had been asleep for ~1 hour when I got the call from the wife that she was ready to go. Things escalated quickly, we were anticipating going in this morning.

<3 u RCF

 

[Sebastian]

Baby Mae born at 3:40AM. We got to the hospital at midnight and she was already 6cm dilated. Everything went as smoothly as you could hope for. I did not realize I would be holding a leg during the pushing phase. I suppose I could have opted out but I stuck with it. Baby heads look super malleable in this situation which freaked me out. I tend to get lightheaded in these situations. In highschool I almost fainted when my girlfriend got her bellybutton pierced.

And now to sleep. Including Sunday night I have slept < 5 hours due to anxiety. I was at my brothers and had been asleep for ~1 hour when I got the call from the wife that she was ready to go. Things escalated quickly, we were anticipating going in this morning.

<3 u RCF

Congratulations!

How wonderful you were able to take part in bringing her into the world!

You will do great as a parent! Congrats!