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Cancer fucking sucks (Prayers/thoughts for my dad)
- Thread starter Man Called X
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Man Called X
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I am. Taking it one day at a time. Managed to sell his jeep before that thing went to complete shit on me. Finally found a duplex yesterday that was cheaper than almost every apartment we have looked at in the past month. And it's got washer/dryer hookups. Yay, I don't have to get a storage unit for my appliances! Shouldn't be long before I get a new job. Most of the house was already packed, won't take much time to get the rest done.
RCF, you guys were a huge help for me while he was sick. I've taken my time away to reflect on his life, to honor, and to celebrate him. I spend a lot of time with close friends and we sit around retelling all the stories my dad told us. I miss him more and more every day, but at some point, I'll see him again.
Andrew
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My mom raised me alone and I couldn't imagine going on if she passed. I know I don't know you well but I hope you find peace in the fact that he really isn't gone if you cherish his memory
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Man Called X
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Was always my biggest fear for the last 18 years was losing him. I've been ready to move on with life and be on my own for more than a few years now. But I knew if I did, I'd crush him. He really never got past my mom's death, and the older he got, I think the more he missed her. He never had an easy life, and things just kept seemed to get harder for him rather than easier. 63 years old and killing himself for shit wages at Walmart was not how he wanted to spend his last years. Always wanted to let him have his last years to himself. So he could travel in a small winnebago, going from bluegrass festival to festival. He never really got peace in this world. He never even got to just be retired and not have to worry about shit. It's thinking of things like that that just make it hurt so much. They were all things I wanted for him to have/do, because he deserved it for all the shit he had to go through with me.
It hurts. It's soul crushing to feel so alone. Yes, I have my wifey and baby. Not the same. It was me and Dad vs the world. I was fully accepting of that reality. It's just going to take a while to understand that's not reality anymore.
We go sign the lease and get the keys for the duplex on Monday. Having a fresh start in a new place that doesn't have any memories of Dad attached to it will help. A little.
Shakalu M.D.
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Sorry X, it's always tough. My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She's' going in for surgery to have it removed tomorrow. We're optimistic because it's pretty early, still, always scary.
Man Called X
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Absolutely. Thankfully they've made a lot of advancements with breast cancer. She and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Just a request from me, if you still have your parents, give them a call, pay a visit. Something. Let them know you love them and thank them for all they've done for you. Never know when you won't have the chance again.
Lee
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My Mom is a cancer survivor, so I know to a degree what Shak is going through. (6 years now) While the cancer treatment weakened her to the point where she had to retire early, with some sacrifices and help from me, she has made it,
As for you X, you sound like you are in a good place all things considered. I know I make some jokes at your expense, but it comes from a place of love. I hope your dad is at peace and you should continue to make him proud by being the best father and husband you can be in his honor. (and your Mom's)
Good luck to both of you.
As for you X, you sound like you are in a good place all things considered. I know I make some jokes at your expense, but it comes from a place of love. I hope your dad is at peace and you should continue to make him proud by being the best father and husband you can be in his honor. (and your Mom's)
Good luck to both of you.
Man Called X
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Good Lee. Donate 2k to his charity and I can use it to throw one hell of a wake. :chuckles:
Lee
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I have an unemployed Mom, an underemployed mother in low, and a sister in law going through a divorce with 2 kids and no job at the moment, i have plenty of charity in my life, lol.
Good news on the lease. Think about this X. As a Father there is only 1 thing (at least for me) that I want in life. To see my kids get married, be happy and have their own kids (REVENGE!). If I can see that happen then my life will be complete. My guess is that he had a lot more peace in his life then you think. Don't worry about anything you put him through. He loved you just the same. I was an asshole son at times but deep down my Dad knew how I felt. Same with my Son now.
Being alone really sucks. The only thing I can suggest to help ease the pain is to go out and bring some good into the world. By that I mean go volunteer for some charity work or church, visit a senior center, coach some kids or something like that. Its good for the soul and it will make you feel better about yourself and life in general.
Hang in there- I've been in your shoes and got through it. You will too.