Career and Life Help

[myriadwhims]

It's been established twice now that I'm in over my head, and the only response I get is "I used to have to work 20 hour days" and "Well, her (the girl I actually split one of the jobs with) work is more important so help her. Idk what your social life is like, but you're gunna have to stay late." He even went as far as to have a screaming death match with the other girl, who's also thinking about leaving, where he said that "He won't leave. He's never going to leave." So it seems like he thinks he can treat me like absolute shit, and I'll stick around. He's essentially unapproachable about any of this, which only builds to the stress, and for working here for six months, I've learned nothing that made my resume stronger because the business model is so antiquated.

Appreciate the posts, guys! Even you Huber.

Looks like it's time to go man, or at least call that bluff. I'm not the type that likes to say no to people, especially friends and family, but it sounds like that situation isn't going to change by itself.

I was in a similar situation to you a few years back (stuck working for a place I wasn't too fond of), and I actually gave the company a one-month notice in writing, thanking them for the opportunity, but detailing out my specific reasons for leaving. Putting your thoughts down onto paper is useful, as you'll be able to organize your feelings and not worry about getting tripped up or tongue-tied when you have to face him.

Ironically, after a couple weeks the company was unable to find someone to replace me, and they ended up making some concessions that made my life a lot easier and the job much better, lol. I still work there to this day. So... you never know how things are going to turn out!

 

[natedagg]

It's been established twice now that I'm in over my head, and the only response I get is "I used to have to work 20 hour days" and "Well, her (the girl I actually split one of the jobs with) work is more important so help her. Idk what your social life is like, but you're gunna have to stay late." He even went as far as to have a screaming death match with the other girl, who's also thinking about leaving, where he said that "He won't leave. He's never going to leave." So it seems like he thinks he can treat me like absolute shit, and I'll stick around. He's essentially unapproachable about any of this, which only builds to the stress, and for working here for six months, I've learned nothing that made my resume stronger because the business model is so antiquated.

Appreciate the posts, guys! Even you Huber.

If you are "in over your head," then you haven't received the proper training to not be in over your head. If the job requires 20 hours/day then that's $78,000/year at $15/hr. It has to either be that salary OR it has to put you in a position to make 3 times that. I can just tell that it isn't either.
If he thinks that you won't leave, and he treats you like shit, then I'd submit your notice tomorrow. Some family friend this guy is.
If you are in a lease, you can sublet or airbnb. Don't let it slow you down.

Look man, where is this going to end? Are you going to turn the corner and end up happy? I can't make that call, but it sounds like the damage is irreparable and his ego/personality are not going to allow for him to change.

What good does this do your resume when the place blows up? This guy has ground you down and you have lost your mojo. I doubt he takes it well but remember, would this guy be loyal to you? Does he give a pube about your future, your goals, your challenges?

 

[Lee]

Originally from the Cleveland area. Am a finance major working as a unregistered rep for a small firm in Florida. By the end of the year, I'll have nearly 6k saved, which covers around 3/4 months of a car payment (335 a month), the amount necessary to get out of my lease, and the money to move back. I also have no outstanding debt and a large chunk of money in a cd that'll help on a down payment for a house down the line.

My support network is large with my friends back home. I have an aunt who's probably hire me again as a temp until I can get a permanent job in Cleveland.

Being here just does not seem remotely safe for my mental health, and given the fam friend as a boss situation, it's probably not an easily accepted explanation on his head considering a large amount of my dismay revolves around undue stress from work.

Life is tough, and this is all part of life. I know that seems rough, but it is true.

First and foremost, talk with your boss. Let them know you are miserable. Find out if they are interested in keeping you and making you some what happy or not.

Next, look at the job market in Cleveland. See if you can find anything. Working for your Aunt as a temp can easily turn into a permanent job. You didnt go to college to work as a temp, make sure you are making a wise decision.

Third, figure out an acceptable living situation in Cleveland. If one exists, figure out how long term it is. Before making a big move, you should have all of your ducks in a row.

Finally, slow down and breath. Life is hard, and it only gets harder. This is a good experience for you and if you can pull through this, your confidence in life will be at an all time high. Try to make it work with the boss before running with your tail between your legs back to Cleveland.

 

[RonG]

Toughest thing an employee has to learn is how to push back and when to push back. Since you plan on leaving at this point and I think that is the right idea, now would be a great time for you to practice pushing back. I assume you are salary but are you salary exempt do you know the qualifications to make you exempt? Did you know if you do not meet those qualifications and you win an EOC claim they have to pay you back every dime of OT you say you worked, not that you can prove but say you worked.

Get your facts together find you a good Mentor and push back. You made some classic mistakes taking on to much because you didn't have anyone looking out for you.

Don't worry about your parents, they already walked the miles your now going through, they will be fine and it won't hurt their plans. Just let them know how happy you are for them and their move and support them as they have supported you.

Lee and Nate have given great advice yours to put into work.

 

[DJTJ]

Update: We talked, I had been treated really well. I made three major mistakes in one week, none of which intentionally, and two of which I was completely unaware of.

Was told I have one month to "be perfect" or I'm gone the night before I came back for the Holiday. I've calculated that it would cost around 2100 to move back, but I'm really struggling finding anything that I'd even have a shot at that would allow me to pay my bills.

 

[AllforOne]

Update: We talked, I had been treated really well. I made three major mistakes in one week, none of which intentionally, and two of which I was completely unaware of.

Was told I have one month to "be perfect" or I'm gone the night before I came back for the Holiday. I've calculated that it would cost around 2100 to move back, but I'm really struggling finding anything that I'd even have a shot at that would allow me to pay my bills.

I'm coming in late to this discussion, but I'll add my thoughts to the good advice others here have provided.

If it's any consolation, you're not alone. I have been in similar situations, and always landed on my feet. It hasn't always been easy or smooth, but I never ended up on the street. You won't either.

From everything you've described, your employer is a terrible place to work, and your boss is a lousy person to have to work for. Any boss who expects perfection -- especially when it sounds like you haven't been properly trained for your role -- is an ass.

So I would plan to get out of that job ASAP. It's corroding your soul, and nothing is worth that. Living in fear isn't living at all.

From there, you have a few issues to unpack:

1. Do you have to move? Are there other jobs available in the area where you're living now? How much of your misery in FL is specific to this job?

2. Do you want to move back here? Or is it more a matter of "my current job sucks and I miss home"? Point is, there's a whole world of places where you can live, and now is the time when you have the freedom to explore it. You're much more flexible at 22 with no spouse/kids/home, than you are when you're in your 40s with a wife, rugrats, and a mortgage.

3. Finding a new job. Especially if you return here, where you know more people, leverage every connection you can. It sounds like you have some family connections. You're a recent grad, so get back in touch with some of your favorite professors and ask for their help. It might be more challenging if you stay in FL or move to some other area. Again though, the more people you know, the higher possibility of one of those people having a connection that gets you in the door.

4. The loneliness thing. Regardless of where you move, it's going to be an issue. Fortunately, with some effort, you can change it. It will just take some initiative on your part. (That's one of the biggest changes once you're out of school -- it takes more effort to make friends. You're no longer in the same place with thousands of other people your age.)

Try a site like Meetup to find groups of people with similar interests (or start your own group, if you don't find what you are looking for). Volunteer. Join a local sports league. Hell, you're on a board full of Cavs fans -- see if anybody wants to meet up to watch a game.

Just know that it's up to you whether you want to chase the life you want, or to sit back and hope it somehow finds you. If you can put in all kinds of hours and energy into a job you can't stand, then just imagine what kind of worker you'll be when you find a position that you do like. It is out there. You just have to keep searching until you find it. Good luck ...

 

[Phills14]

After reading the first post my mind went to 1. Address your work situation with the boss. Have an open conversation and see what can be done to make the job better for you and the company. 2. Try different avenues outside of work to meet people (Friends, girls, whatever). If you have that personal support network outside of work it is amazing how much more tolerable work is.

There has been some great posts here. Listen to some of these guys, they know what they're talking about. Many of us, including myself, have been where you are in some fashion.

Now that I read through the thread my mind has changed on what to do. If you truly believe you've addressed your concerns in a constructive way to your boss and he still isn't hearing you, then you might need to consider a change there. Maybe you simply change jobs in Florida? Maybe you move to another city where at least 1 friend is and you room with him/her? Maybe you move back to Cleveland? I can't answer that for you. You have to make that call. It does sound like a change is needed for you in some way. Don't allow yourself to fall into a pit emotionally because it's really hard to climb back out. Be proactive and take steps to make changes before that happens.

 

[Goodbyehorses]

Whatever you do, don't go into the golf business. I'm 32, have been working in the golf business in different capacities for the past 19 years, and I swear to God I am am getting closer and closer to kicking some bitchy old douche right in the dick. Old people are going to make my life a short one. I'm okay with that because I have an affinity for things that alter my mind, which will most likely cause an early demise in and of itself, but seriously, old people suck fat donkey schlong.
Things I have heard today:

"Hey, (my name), I think there is a guy on #2 with his shirt untucked. Please tell him he needs to have his shirt tucked at all times"
"Is it going to rain next Sunday?"
"What time does the 8:30 shotgun start?"
"If I use a 48 degree wedge instead of a 52 degree wedge, will my score come down?"
"I'm a 30 handicap, should I be playing the Pro V1 or the Pro V1x?"
"There is a sprinkler on at a house off Spinacre Point, could you please find the owner of the house and let them know their sprinklers are on?"

 

[DJTJ]

Update: Laid off because of revenue decline. Biggest weight off my shoulders, to the point I actually smiled mid meeting, despite the massive expenses I'm about to endure as I move again.

 

[BooyaCS]

Update: Laid off because of revenue decline. Biggest weight off my shoulders, to the point I actually smiled mid meeting, despite the massive expenses I'm about to endure as I move again.

I was in a similar situation 15 years ago when I graduated college. Except my family gave me bad advice (Don't go to California and sign with this unstable company called Google). I only speak to my family now when I have to.

I also had a boss who was friends with a friend of the family. Same scenario. Small company no training expected code with no bugs (not possible).

My advice is find an area (in the US) where you can utilize your finance degree. Also keep your family for support but you don't have to live by them (air planes).

If you like it in Fl stay. Ultimately it would be cheaper than moving. Also this person was an Ass, but water under the bridge. Learn from the experience (aka ask what type of training will be for the position since you are fresh out of college). A lot of companies want Purple unicorns (entry level that can do everything).

 

[Hurl Bruce]

I am starting to really hate teaching. The kids have no respect for authority and it's testing, testing, testing all of the time. I moved to be closer to my daughter and took a middle school job at a charter school in Detroit. I love my daughter, but this is the most difficult time I've ever had trying to teach classes. I cannot stay here any longer than I have to.

My problem is that I don't know where I could transition to as a former teacher that isn't actually teaching again. Looking at training jobs at companies, I would need industry specific background knowledge to be able to do it.

I am just so frustrated. Good, suburban public school jobs are just so hard to nail down. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do.

 

[BooyaCS]

I am starting to really hate teaching. The kids have no respect for authority and it's testing, testing, testing all of the time. I moved to be closer to my daughter and took a middle school job at a charter school in Detroit. I love my daughter, but this is the most difficult time I've ever had trying to teach classes. I cannot stay here any longer than I have to.

My problem is that I don't know where I could transition to as a former teacher that isn't actually teaching again. Looking at training jobs at companies, I would need industry specific background knowledge to be able to do it.

I am just so frustrated. Good, suburban public school jobs are just so hard to nail down. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do.

Learn some technology aka an exam solution or Microsoft products. Look into getting a certification in those then you can do corporate IT training.

 

[DJTJ]

Probably a question I should have asked earlier than the day of; my layoff is effective for today. Is it wrong of me that I leave work to do? Or should I get my paycheck and leave?

 

[gourimoko]

Probably a question I should have asked earlier than the day of; my layoff is effective for today. Is it wrong of me that I leave work to do? Or should I get my paycheck and leave?

Get your paycheck, smile, shake hands with everyone, and then bounce..

 

[gourimoko]

I am starting to really hate teaching. The kids have no respect for authority and it's testing, testing, testing all of the time. I moved to be closer to my daughter and took a middle school job at a charter school in Detroit. I love my daughter, but this is the most difficult time I've ever had trying to teach classes. I cannot stay here any longer than I have to.

My problem is that I don't know where I could transition to as a former teacher that isn't actually teaching again. Looking at training jobs at companies, I would need industry specific background knowledge to be able to do it.

I am just so frustrated. Good, suburban public school jobs are just so hard to nail down. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do.

How old is your daughter?