Joe Henderson
keyboard monkey. also, not actually Joe Henderson.
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2007
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Alright, with the offseason having exploded onto this board, covering everything with rumor-mongering debris, i think it's time to come up with some basic common sense rules. I'll throw a few out there that i've felt like i had to post a few times already, then please, feel free to add yours.
1. No lazy fat guys.
AKA, the Zach Randolph Axiom. Overpaid guys who get by on sheer talent and don't do much to improve their game shouldn't be anywhere near the Cavs.
2. No long New York or New Jersey contracts
AKA, the Big Market Theorem. The Cavs should never, under any circumstances help possible Lebron destinations clear cap space for him.
3. No downhill superstars
AKA the Shaq-Kidd-Jerm Rule. This didn't work for the Suns or the Mavs and wouldn't work the Cavs. You basically get one shot, then are shackled with the gigantic deal. That's no way to build a team. The Cavs should be adding pieces now that could be around for years to come.
4. No GM clones
AKA the Jiri Welsch Rule, just to shorten everything up. Paxson traded a first rounder for a late second-round talent. Why? He thought a shooting guard who has "basketball IQ" and a mid-range game would be perfect with LeBron. You can also call this the Donyell Marshall rule after Danny gave too many years to a veteran power forward who could stroke the three ball.
courtesy of RK
5. No mortgaging of te future.
AKA the Law of Isiah. Have you noticed there is only one traded first rounder in this draft? When was the last time everyone kept their first rounders? As previously mentioned, demanding first rounders to complete deals has lost its wonton Isaiah Thomas charm. No one wants a roster that is old, financially secure, and never pushed in practice by young blood. Again, don't pull a Miami Heat because its not worth it.
courtesy of RK
6. No small guards over 30
AKA the Damon Stoudemire Directive. Cavs fans were outraged that we traded Mark Price for a first rounder. I remember when Cavs forums wanted to swap out Z for Nick Van Exel. I remember when Damon Stoudemire was a bonafide point guard. Sure there are exceptions like AI, but generally the drop off is hard and steep.
courtesy of RK
7. No Snow/Szczerbiak combo deal.
AKA the Expiring Contracts Corollary. No Snow and Szczerbiak in the same deal unless it's a huge swap (like for Redd/Williams/Simmons or for 'Melo). I really don't want to dump both guys for Redd or Mike Miller. They're both good chips on their own.
courtesy of Benny
8. No garbage for superstars proposals.
AKA the Ira Newble Dictate. No absurd trade ideas like where the Cavs get 2 All-star players in exchange for Damon Jones, Ira Newble, Dwayne Jones, and our 1st rounder.... and yes, I know that Ira is no longer on the team... that's kinda the point. Try to use some common sense in the trade... does it fit the cap considerations.... would you do the same trade if you were the OTHER team.... are all the players and picks eligible to be traded?
courtesy of MikeOC
9. No fraudulent euros.
AKA the Sasha Pavlovic Regulation. Watch out for--> THE FRAUDULENT EUROS-- especially the ones everyone says "can shoot the lights out"... Those sneaky bastards are very rarely worth a damn, are slow, finesse players, with poor basketball IQ's that have no desire to defend, and have virtually nothing to offer a team.. Only a select handful are useful to their team, and rest assure they will not be available in any form or fashion.. They may show flashes and promise in practice, but stay away from these frauds and resist the urge..
courtesy of PIP
any more?
1. No lazy fat guys.
AKA, the Zach Randolph Axiom. Overpaid guys who get by on sheer talent and don't do much to improve their game shouldn't be anywhere near the Cavs.
2. No long New York or New Jersey contracts
AKA, the Big Market Theorem. The Cavs should never, under any circumstances help possible Lebron destinations clear cap space for him.
3. No downhill superstars
AKA the Shaq-Kidd-Jerm Rule. This didn't work for the Suns or the Mavs and wouldn't work the Cavs. You basically get one shot, then are shackled with the gigantic deal. That's no way to build a team. The Cavs should be adding pieces now that could be around for years to come.
4. No GM clones
AKA the Jiri Welsch Rule, just to shorten everything up. Paxson traded a first rounder for a late second-round talent. Why? He thought a shooting guard who has "basketball IQ" and a mid-range game would be perfect with LeBron. You can also call this the Donyell Marshall rule after Danny gave too many years to a veteran power forward who could stroke the three ball.
courtesy of RK
5. No mortgaging of te future.
AKA the Law of Isiah. Have you noticed there is only one traded first rounder in this draft? When was the last time everyone kept their first rounders? As previously mentioned, demanding first rounders to complete deals has lost its wonton Isaiah Thomas charm. No one wants a roster that is old, financially secure, and never pushed in practice by young blood. Again, don't pull a Miami Heat because its not worth it.
courtesy of RK
6. No small guards over 30
AKA the Damon Stoudemire Directive. Cavs fans were outraged that we traded Mark Price for a first rounder. I remember when Cavs forums wanted to swap out Z for Nick Van Exel. I remember when Damon Stoudemire was a bonafide point guard. Sure there are exceptions like AI, but generally the drop off is hard and steep.
courtesy of RK
7. No Snow/Szczerbiak combo deal.
AKA the Expiring Contracts Corollary. No Snow and Szczerbiak in the same deal unless it's a huge swap (like for Redd/Williams/Simmons or for 'Melo). I really don't want to dump both guys for Redd or Mike Miller. They're both good chips on their own.
courtesy of Benny
8. No garbage for superstars proposals.
AKA the Ira Newble Dictate. No absurd trade ideas like where the Cavs get 2 All-star players in exchange for Damon Jones, Ira Newble, Dwayne Jones, and our 1st rounder.... and yes, I know that Ira is no longer on the team... that's kinda the point. Try to use some common sense in the trade... does it fit the cap considerations.... would you do the same trade if you were the OTHER team.... are all the players and picks eligible to be traded?
courtesy of MikeOC
9. No fraudulent euros.
AKA the Sasha Pavlovic Regulation. Watch out for--> THE FRAUDULENT EUROS-- especially the ones everyone says "can shoot the lights out"... Those sneaky bastards are very rarely worth a damn, are slow, finesse players, with poor basketball IQ's that have no desire to defend, and have virtually nothing to offer a team.. Only a select handful are useful to their team, and rest assure they will not be available in any form or fashion.. They may show flashes and promise in practice, but stay away from these frauds and resist the urge..
courtesy of PIP
any more?
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