Topgun according to Tarantino

[aaronbev79]

Lady in the Water was so so so so stupid bad. The whole "Let's go talk to the wise Chinese woman that only her daughter can translate" thing got old so fast. It was like he couldn't think of a way to get a plot going, so he just made this wise Chinese woman to give me the whole story. One of the worst movies of all time, IMHO.

There's a very long list that would be ahead of that movie. And if you realize that it's supposed to be a corny bedtime story, then it makes much more sense why he made some of the choices he did.

 

[DDJ7777]

That's funny, when I watched the movie there was nothing telling me that it was supposed to be a corny bedtime story... it was attempted to be passed off as a Hollywood blockbuster with all these famous actors/actresses in it. Weird.

 

[chiefwahoo]

There's a very long list that would be ahead of that movie. And if you realize that it's supposed to be a corny bedtime story, then it makes much more sense why he made some of the choices he did.

Agreed 100%. The more I think about it, the marketing was just awful for this. The target audience is not the same as Signs, Unbreakable, or The Sixth Sense. But the studio sees dollar signs when M. Night's name is attached and goes on a marketing blitz to sell tickets.

Sorry to hijack this thread into an M. Night discussion, but I cringe at the thought of how this next one will go:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0938283/

 

[aaronbev79]

That's funny, when I watched the movie there was nothing telling me that it was supposed to be a corny bedtime story... it was attempted to be passed off as a Hollywood blockbuster with all these famous actors/actresses in it. Weird.

The opening scene clearly makes the movie out to be a corny bedtime story...

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[DDJ7777]

Perhaps, but it still doesn't change the fact that it was a garbage movie.

 

[MattyJames]

I would argue four good movies... I liked Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill 1, and Kill Bill 2. He also wrote Natural Born Killers (which I thought was great) and I have yet to see Grindhouse.

I'm more worried about M. Night Shamalamadingdong (or however you spell it). Loved Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs... then came The Village, Lady in the Water, and The Happening which all seem to have gotten progressively worse.

I'm on the fence with Tarantino. I LOVED Resevoir Dogs and liked Pulp Fiction as well. My favorite project of his would have to be True Romance. A true cult classic. (He wrote the screenplay for True Romance and sold it to fund Resevoir Dogs) Kill Bills were OK to me. I know he has a fascination with Samurai movies and asian film in general so I could see where he was going with it. They just didn't come off as genuine to me having watched so many films of the genre myself. they weren't bad movies by any stretch of the imagination. Just kind of missed the mark a little with me. He actually has a fairly significant role in a new(er) Takashi Miike film entitled "Sukiyaki Western: Django" That is a fantastic movie!!! Miike movies make Tarantino films look like Disney...Literally. You're either into it or you aren't though. Some of his films are tough to swallow. If anyones interested, i recommend "Ichi the Killer". If that doesn't work for you, Stay away from the rest of his work.

I Couldn't agree more about Shamalamahanlmamdingdong. Ive walked away from his last few films feeling like someone just stole something from me. I thought someone would jump out in the end of them yelling "April Fools!!!" A complete waste of time. However, i will still give him the benefit of the doubt because his early works were so original.

 

[Damage]

Agreed 100%. The more I think about it, the marketing was just awful for this. The target audience is not the same as Signs, Unbreakable, or The Sixth Sense. But the studio sees dollar signs when M. Night's name is attached and goes on a marketing blitz to sell tickets.

Sorry to hijack this thread into an M. Night discussion, but I cringe at the thought of how this next one will go:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0938283/

The last Airbender? What the **** is that? Jesus, I give up.


BTW, this is the funniest review for "The Happening" I have read...and there are some pretty good ones out there. (Warning, long)

Wow. Where to begin?

Well, let me just set the scene for you. I decided to take my girl to go see the "Happening" at a local movie theatre that serves drinks and dinner while you watch it, very cool concept.

By the end of the movie, I was drunk, laughing out loud and ruining the movie for an entire theatre (although, I think Shamlalalaalyalana did a good enough job of that by himself). I was literally dying laughing. That was quite easily the worst piece of cinema I can remember in recent years, even worse than Star Wars Epsiode 1 and I walked out of that crapfest.

I was literally in stitches. When Marky Mark told the plant he was giving it "good vibes", I lost it. I started singing "Good Vibrations" and everyone got pissed off, but I just couldn't help it.

This was a cinemagraphic abortion. It was equivalent to the afterbirth of a braindead baby who had the umbilical cord wrapped around his throat and choked to death on his own lifeline.

Shamyalalalyanan choked this movie to death on his own premise. I got it, people are dying, they are running from wind and plants. Can we see something else? Do we have to stare at the same thing for 2 straight hours? I got it, now give me something else.

Well, we got something else. Unintentional comedy. Lots of it, top quality too. I loved several things about this movie. First and foremost, was how absolutely nothing was ever explained.

First of all, why would inhibiting your neural receptor cause you to kill yourself? It would keep you from feeling pain and you COULD cause harm to yourself, but why would your first instinct be too immediately kill yourself? It makes zero sense. Oh well, the premise is shot.

Continuing on, why, when some people were infected, did they moonwalk backwards before killing themselves? Some people stood in place, some decided to walk backwards, it made no sense. Too bad it wasn't even one of the most illogical parts of the movie. Oh well, don't bother explaining, really, its ok, we'll figure it out. I guess.

Also, why did the wind "become alive". I got that nature and plants wanted to kill people, but why did the wind all of a sudden become alive? The wind started chasing them, it came and went as it pleased. It was like the plants created the wind, although, that is COMPLETELY *****ING IMPOSSIBLE. The wind killed a group of them in a field, but somehow, it didn't manage to reach Marky Mark and company. It just stopped. And then it started chasing them. But it was the slowest wind ever, traveling just over 4 miles per hour. Oh well, let's just move on before I get a headache.

Some more random thoughts:

Why did Marky Mark not get infected when the lady broke her head on the window, wouldn't the air have gotten into the house at that point? He ran away from oxygen, oh ok, that makes sense.

What was with the underground railroad? Was that really necessary? Sweet jesus man, are you going to preach about slavery too? Pick your messages and your battles Shama;a;dfdfdsfsdfdfalany. You are already setting back the environmental movement about 10 years with this debacle, do you want to set back equal rights as well?

Why, when they showed the map, were some dots yellow and some dots red? What was the difference? Everyone was dying from the exact same thing in the exact same way, suicide (although, they died different ways, like, did you see that lion kill that guy, that was awesome! Did you know this was his first ever R-rated movie! I'm so impressed by generic violence! Yeah! ). Maybe it was the moonwalkers. The yellow dots were moonwalkers and the red dots were normal suicides.

Why did I sit through this whole movie? They told you the ending and what was causing it like 20 minutes in. I guess I was waiting for some lame twist to come and save this piece of crap, but it never came. Sh*t man, couldn't they have thrown in the 6th sense kid to say "I see dead people" when someone killed themself? Or maybe the Signs alien could have just walked by and said hello like he did in that crappy movie. Give me something at least, anything was better than what actually happened.

Here is what happened. People die, people die, people die, the wind did it, people die, people die, it stops, preachy bullsh*t, people die at the end, and then I leave the theatre pissed off with 8 less dollars than I started the day with. I told the waitress to send my tab to M night sha;sd;dfdfldfglsdfs because he owes me back my time and money.

I have to say, this was absolutely one of the worst movies ever made. The acting and premise made me long for the days of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and Killer Clowns from Outer Space. Just like The Happening, those movies had a outlandish plot about the end of the world with terrible acting and horrible writing, but at least the movies were honest from the getgo about how sh*tty they were. This movie was on that level, only it actually tricked me into thinking it might be good and making me pay my 8 dollars to go see it. For shame.