2023 Week 2: Browns @ The Scum-Sucking Steelers.

[Lee]

Cant find the Titans stadium Johnny Cash Ring of Fire techno remake but it was even more of a disaster than that.

Edit: found it. God, I hate this. Nobody asked for this.

It buyns buyns buyns

God this trend of pronouncing r’s like this is so annoying.

I know Johnny Cash isnt straight Country, fore sure some folk and rock influences in there, but you would think a team that plays in Nashville would know better than to do this to an all time great country singer.

Abomination is what comes to mind. Abortion maybe? Asinine? Any other A words?

 

[Out of the Rafters at the Q]

Probably not rolling around with Phil's back issues. Dude can barely walk these days. All time great drummer that will probably never play drums again.

Hasn't that been confirmed for a long time?

I thought his son had been drumming for the tours for a long time. Feels like a decade or so.

 

[The Wizard of Moz]

Cant find the Titans stadium Johnny Cash Ring of Fire techno remake but it was even more of a disaster than that.

Edit: found it. God, I hate this. Nobody asked for this.

It buyns buyns buyns

God this trend of pronouncing r’s like this is so annoying.

Just the man I was looking for

I humbly request your top 5 must win games since the return and where this ranks amongst them

 

[Pierre Pan]

Some positive Amari news:

https://x.com/nflnotify/status/1703814557855346946?s=61&t=2pRlPsH41UMFBecAmyH6Bw

 

[Lee]

Hasn't that been confirmed for a long time?

I thought his son had been drumming for the tours for a long time. Feels like a decade or so.

Yes, but it got really bad in the last 2 years, like his back surgeries have taken the toll after he got hurt on a tour years ago, but its so bad now he cant even be on a stage.

But shout out to Nick Collins getting the o'shea jackson jr award for playing your dad's role. If only Julian had gotten the chance.

 

[Lee]

Some positive Amari news:

https://x.com/nflnotify/status/1703814557855346946?s=61&t=2pRlPsH41UMFBecAmyH6Bw

Should we have an Amari Safari on if he plays tonight?

A Super Duper Cooper Trooper?

 

[The Oi]

Why did Chris Stapleton sound like Gavin Degraw there?

I have an inside source who recorded the conversation that lead to that video:

Corporate White Guy 1: We know we need the country fans. We did well with the country fans back when we had Hank. Who’s out there? Is Garth Brooks around?

Corporate White Guy 2: Hang on, I’ll check the charts. (Pause, typing) Chris Stapleton is one of the top guys. He’s everywhere. We could do him.

Corporate White Guy 1: Call him, but DONT let him sound too country. We still have black people to appeal to and we know the blacks don’t like country. Speaking of blacks, who do they listen to these days? Call a black guy in here and ask him.

(pause, black intern enters)

Corporate White Guy 1: What do you and your friends listen to?

Black intern: Uh, little bit of everything honestly. (Looks at phone) I have a lot of hip hop on here, some classic rock, 90s stuff. I had some Phil Collins on while I was working today.

Corporate White Guy 2: DID YOU SAY PHIL COLLINS?!

Bill, did you hear that? This young black boy listens to Phil Collins.

Call up Phil Collins and the country gentleman. We’ll just do “In the Air Tonight.” We’re ready to rock and roll!

Corporate White Guy 1: We still need a black-

Corporate White Guy 2: That’s right. We do.

You and your pals listen to Snoop right?

Black intern: eh, not rea-

Corporate White Guy 2: You heard it here first! Snoop’s our guy. Call the country fella, Phil Collins, and Snoop and put them all together for In the Air Tonight.

This new Monday Night Football song is going to bring our demos together like that brilliant Jenner Pepsi commercial we did.

 

[Lee]

Why did Chris Stapleton sound like Gavin Degraw there?

I have an inside source who recorded the conversation that lead to that video:

Corporate White Guy 1: We know we need the country fans. We did well with the country fans back when we had Hank. Who’s out there? Is Garth Brooks around?

Corporate White Guy 2: Hang on, I’ll check the charts. (Pause, typing) Chris Stapleton is one of the top guys. He’s everywhere. We could do him.

Corporate White Guy 1: Call him, but DONT let him sound too country. We still have black people to appeal to and we know the blacks don’t like country. Speaking of blacks, who do they listen to these days? Call a black guy in here and ask him.

(pause, black intern enters)

Corporate White Guy 1: What do you and your friends listen to?

Black intern: Uh, little bit of everything honestly. (Looks at phone) I have a lot of hip hop on here, some classic rock, 90s stuff. I had some Phil Collins on while I was working today.

Corporate White Guy 2: DID YOU SAY PHIL COLLINS?!

Bill, did you hear that? This young black boy listens to Phil Collins.

Call up Phil Collins and the country gentleman. We’ll just do “In the Air Tonight.” We’re ready to rock and roll!

Corporate White Guy 1: We still need a black-

Corporate White Guy 2: That’s right. We do.

You and your pals listen to Snoop right?

Black intern: eh, not rea-

Corporate White Guy 2: You heard it here first! Snoop’s our guy. Call the country fella, Phil Collins, and Snoop and put them all together for In the Air Tonight.

This new Monday Night Football song is going to bring our demos together like that brilliant Jenner Pepsi commercial we did.

That is hilarious because A, its funny, and B, its probably really close to the truth. What guy do black people listen to that wont piss off racist white guys.... I know, Phil Collins and throw in Snoop for a token gesture.

 

[Selby]

Some positive Amari news:

https://x.com/nflnotify/status/1703814557855346946?s=61&t=2pRlPsH41UMFBecAmyH6Bw

Part of me says to play him, part of me says to let him rest because it is a long season.

Or we could have the best of both worlds and let him play the first half, then once we are up 35-0 at halftime he can sit and rest for the second half.

 

[The Oi]

I know Johnny Cash isnt straight Country, fore sure some folk and rock influences in there, but you would think a team that plays in Nashville would know better than to do this to an all time great country singer.

Abomination is what comes to mind. Abortion maybe? Asinine? Any other A words?

I think you pretty much nailed it.

The funny thing is that hip hop and country emerged from the same place.

You could theoretically turn a country song into a hip hop song or a hip hop song into a country song if you chose the right one. But if you don’t use blues as the platform to hold the song up, you’re fucked.

Using techno as the platform to modernize Ring of Fire is so discordant and empty. Moronic.

 

[Lee]

I think you pretty much nailed it.

The funny thing is that hip hop and country emerged from the same place.

You could theoretically turn a country song into a hip hop song or a hip hop song into a country song if you chose the right one. But if you don’t use blues as the platform to hold the song up, you’re fucked.

Using techno as the platform to modernize Ring of Fire is so discordant and empty. Moronic.

My son and I talk about Blues being the foundation for everything, He also pointed out to me Taylor Swift is about to be the 2nd best selling artist of all time just behind the Beatles. I looked it up, its true, I little part of me died that day.

 

[zDawg45]

 

[bigfoot5415]

I think I speak for everyone in saying.....Fuck Joe Buck


Secondly- Chubbs gonna go for 150 yds. I feel it in my plums.

 

[The Oi]

Just the man I was looking for

I humbly request your top 5 must win games since the return and where this ranks amongst them

1) 2002 Wild card on the road against the Steelers. Browns get out to a 33-13 halftime lead and then blow it. Nobody is shocked. Everybody is depressed.

2) 2002 game 16 The Run William Run game. The Browns beat the Falcons to make the playoffs, clinching on a long William Green run down the sideline. Lot of big plays. A great memory for a lot of Browns fans.

Would be a completely forgettable game for any other franchise that qualified for the playoffs more than once a decade.

3) 2010 Game 1 @ Bucs
First year Browns QB Seneca Wallace and second year Browns HC Eric Mangini lead the much hyped Browns into Tampa Bay for the season opener.

We’re licking our wounds from the DA/Brady Quinn debacle and ready to move on to our new mobile stud.

The Browns lose 17-14 in a barburner and go 5-11 in a classic garbage-ville season.

4)2010 Game 16 vs Steelers

This is a must-win…for Eric Mangini.

Browns are only on their 2nd QB of the year and Peyton Hillis has exploded out of nowhere. Eric Mangini needs a win to keep his job. Nobody wants that to happen.

Browns come through and lose 41-9. They are limited to 43 rushing yards, but Brian Robiskie catches a TD pass from you guessed it…Colt McCoy. He is never heard from again.

5) 2020 Playoffs vs Steelers

Everyone is injured or potentially dying due to Covid, nobody knows, including the Browns HC.

The defense comes out and annihilates the Steelers. Nobody is comfortable until the final moments because the Steelers have come back from 20 points down in the playoffs and like 50 points down in the regular season.

Browns win and then lose the next week against the Chiefs. That game was a “must win” but nobody was counting on it, so I left it off.

Bonus:
2017 Browns @ Steelers
The Hue Jackson defeated season

The Steelers are clinched as the #1 seed and have benched everyone. They are playing waterboys and Make-a-Wish kids.

Some are rooting for a historic defeated season here. Others just want 3rd year wreck of a coach Hue Jackson gone.

Every week the team found new creative ways to lose, but nobody is expecting to lose against the Steelers backups to the backups.

The team went through a record 37 QBs this season alone and put the season in the hands of promising Notre Dame rookie Deshone Kizer.

The Browns are down 28-24 threatening to score with seconds left. Kizer scrambles and hits top 10 pick and Steve Smith play-a-like Corey Coleman who promptly drops a perfect laser beam pass, sealing the Browns defeated season.

Hue somehow hangs on for ANOTHER season after this.

 

[mds]

Probably not rolling around with Phil's back issues. Dude can barely walk these days. All time great drummer that will probably never play drums again.

Yeah, this is well documented in the historically accurate piece of art known as I Can't Dance.