In any event, if someone is saying "this is how to help women here" yiu don't call them sexist bla bla bla.
He wasn't trying to "help women," he was making an argument about reverse racism, anti-White male discrimination, and then trying to assert causal effects for the gender gap in STEM as it specifically relates to computer science. His assertion was based on the (false) narrative that women are somehow less apt then men as programmers, and that explains the wage gap in the field.
He tries to couch this argument as saying "I'm only trying to help women."
Lastly, his manifesto is textbook sexism and is an irrational and ignorant take on women's ability as programmers (and he wasn't even in a position to evaluate any of his female colleagues).
If sitting at your desk and ranting about the inferiority of your female colleagues is not workplace sexism; then nothing is... So this "bla bla bla" part of your post really doesn't make sense to me as it seems to imply that we should just destroy the identification of sexists or even the mental concept of sexism itself, even if the term is applicable to the acts in question.
And analyzing why men in general are more suited for a field isn't sexist, especially if we're talking about why there is a discrepancy in number of each sex in the field.
Sure in some cases it is and in some cases it isn't; but that's not the problem here. The problem here is that
no one has done this. Damore didn't do it, and saying "men and women are different" doesn't do it. So again, where is this analysis taking place and how is it Damore's job to do such an analysis in the first place?
Guys are better at lifting heavy shit. That isn't sexist
But it would be sexist if you told a female warehouse worker she was less fit to do a job than a man, even though they both knew how to operate a forklift and a pallet jack ... You see what I'm saying man: it would be sexist if pure physical strength was not a determining factor in your job.
It would be sexist if you're a programmer, who relies on your mental ability, abstract reasoning, and logical/critical thinking to do your job effectively, and are then being told you are somehow 'less suitable' because some of some guy's views on gender.
That's why Damore's unscientific ramblings are indeed sexist. He's not an expert, nor has he done any academic study or real critical research on any of the topics being discussed -- he was just rationalizing his political views and looking for acceptance and approval from his colleagues at Google. He got fired for it, because it created a huge problem of toxicity in the workplace.
What he did was clearly sexist.... Again, if that's not sexism, then nothing is.