WarAdmiral
Rookie
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2008
- Messages
- 124
- Reaction score
- 99
- Points
- 28
I have been married for over 18 years and around two months the love of my life asked for a divorce. We have three kids together, and when she first asked, I kind of understood cause the past two years had been rocky. I have issues that I a now realize led to her wanting this divorce, and I became guilt stricken cause of those issues. Outside of that, I went through different stages of grieving, denial, rejection, begging, acceptance, fear and it had been a rough two months. I am starting to accept the reality of it, and I just can't control and am focusing on what I can control. I am sure I will have emotional bumps ahead, but she is being super cool about how to do this thing, and we are not doing it till we both can survive on our own, with me having the ability to get the kids whenever I want, when sports and stuff isn't involved. I still hurt when I foresee her with another man, but also realize that I will have a new beginning for myself, and have gone headstrong to deal with the issues I have developed. I feel If I do what I need to do, I will find my happiness and have already started regaining my self worth as a man.
Now, the thing, that has struck me, is how we as men are not much help to others when going through this. I am talking about how I reached out to great friends who have gone through this themselves before. They were very capable of helping me foresee the financials of the situation, but not one really gave any guidance or warning as to what my mind was about to encounter. I called to see a counselor, and it is month before I can see one. For discussion purposes, is there any good advice out there from guys who know what I am talking about and have gone through this. I hurt worse through this more than anything I have ever encountered, and there was little there for me to understand why I couldn't deal with the stages I went through better. I was a mess, and probably will still be at times, but have had a few good days, so I'm hopeful I am over the worst of it.
My advice to any guys out there, that haven't gone through it, be prepared to be on your own emotionally if it comes your way. Sure Mom and Dad will be there for ya, and maybe siblings, but if they haven't gone through it, they probably will have no idea how you really hurt.
Now, the thing, that has struck me, is how we as men are not much help to others when going through this. I am talking about how I reached out to great friends who have gone through this themselves before. They were very capable of helping me foresee the financials of the situation, but not one really gave any guidance or warning as to what my mind was about to encounter. I called to see a counselor, and it is month before I can see one. For discussion purposes, is there any good advice out there from guys who know what I am talking about and have gone through this. I hurt worse through this more than anything I have ever encountered, and there was little there for me to understand why I couldn't deal with the stages I went through better. I was a mess, and probably will still be at times, but have had a few good days, so I'm hopeful I am over the worst of it.
My advice to any guys out there, that haven't gone through it, be prepared to be on your own emotionally if it comes your way. Sure Mom and Dad will be there for ya, and maybe siblings, but if they haven't gone through it, they probably will have no idea how you really hurt.