Figured I'd pop back in here with a quick update on my brother-in-law since a few of you were nice enough to help out.
About a week ago today, my wife received a phone call from her brother. He's openly admitting to his substance abuse issues and it finally coming to us for help. He mentioned that he was too proud and stubborn and thought he could fix all of this on his own. He clearly knows that's not the case any longer. I'm not sure what caused the 180 on his part - it was just out of the blue, but he seems genuine in his words about the whole thing.
I got him set up to get an initial assessment done at a local outpatient center to see what he needs in terms of rehabilitation. I've handled all of his insurance questions, FMLA questions, etc., so I'm doing whatever I can to help him out. He wants the full inpatient program just so he can step completely away from all of his stressors (job, ex-wife, etc.), so if he is ready to tell his work about his problem, I'm hoping he means it. We had a long talk and he's said his addiction became a part of him and he wasn't ready to let that piece of him go. Now that he's had this realization, he tells me he hates his current personality and wants to leave it in the past. We're cautiously hopeful.
I appreciate you guys helping reinforce the idea that you can't force them to see it from your perspective. He was completely blind to his actions. It's been incredibly hard to sit and watch him destroy his life, but I realized we can't help him until he's ready to help himself.
If there's anyone on the forum that is in the middle of a situation like this, I'm here to listen. You all helped me, so I want to be able to return the favor.