Not sure if can provide comments that are "intelligent" or "witty" but I shall try:
*The Blazers are in a sort of mid-season malaise, trying to find the mix that will elevate the club beyond the 6th seed in the Western Conference. starting PG Steve Blake is out 2-4 weeks with separated shoulder. though tempting to file this under "Who gives a shit?", Blakey had been a glue guy and steadied the club through one of the toughest early schedules in the league.
*Fortunately Blake's absence has opened the way for rookie PG Jerryd Bayless to square off against three-year veteran Sergio "Spanish Chocolate" Rodriguez in a battle to claim the top spot. Bayless, a shoot first, pass later sniper from the University of Arizona, was MVP of the summer league after scorching the circuit for 29.8 points per game. He's been an afterthought all season, but Blake's absence enabled him to crack the starting five against the nets last Thursday. when he dropped a career high 23 points in a clutch road win.
*Team stands at 25-16 after a home rout of the bucks tonight, raising the home record to 15-4. tough to beat the Blazers at the Rose Garden. Team owner Paul Allen sits courtside at each game and is known to actually buy 4th quarters if needed. Either that or he'll sue to win:
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=aw-gilbertresponse010909&prov=yhoo&type=lgns
*All-star Brandon Roy is the soul of the blazers and has single-handedly won several contests this season, including the night he dropped a league high 52 on Phoenix and a last second buzzer beater on the Rockets:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlBq-qXUdcs
*City of Portland was prepared to erect a statue of Ohio State phenom Greg Oden as recently as September but has since forgotten the gentle giant. Despite his team leading 12 double doubles, the fan base has soured on the pivot due to his propensity to pick up an abundance of careless fouls early in games. This has led to G.O. averaging less than 23:30 per game, the lowest minutes of any Blazers starter. It gets to feel pretty ridiculous if you watch Portland on a regular basis. Oden may actually pick up two fouls before the anthem ends on Wednesday.
*One player who has significantly stepped up his game is LaMarcus Aldridge. Known by his strikingly original moniker "LA", Aldridge has averaged 17.4 PPG and 6.9 RPG in this, his third NBA campaign. this may earn him his first trip the all star game, where he would undoubtedly be overshadowed by his Spanish phenom teammate Rudy Fernandez.
*The heartthrob of Portland's female population, Rudolph's jumpers have been known to set pheromones ablaze as they rain down from beyond the arc. He'll be representing Portland in this year's All-Star Weekend Slam Dunk contest, an honor he won by virtue of a fan vote in which he narrowly edged high-flying Bucks' rookie Joe "Vanilla Sky" Alexander.
*Ahh, but there can be only one albino ace, and that honor in Portland goes to backup center Joel "The Vanilla Gorilla" Przybilla. JP is as steady as they come, a true lunch pail warrior, battle hardened from his days on the courts in the hinterlands of Minnesota. You might think he's nothing special, but just ask Tyson Chandler, who got a taste of the Gorilla's rage in a recent throwdown at the Rose Garden:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khM5WjeyLQA
*Last but not least, the Cavs must be ready for the second coming of "the microwave". With all due respects to former Pistons legend Vinnie Johnson, the latest incarnation of the red hot household appliance is none other than Travis Outlaw. The pride of Starkville, Mississippi High School, TO has blossomed in his role as 6th man, chipping in over 11 PPG off the bench this season, with nine 15+ point nights so far this season. Willing to hoist it up from anywhere on the floor, he is this club's Gerald Wilkins, albeit it without the pesky "Jordan stopper" handle.
*If the Cavs can come out hot and disrupt Roy's game, then this will be a laugher. If the club is flat after the loss to the Lakers, then it may be a long night in P-town. The once-a-season appearance of LeBron is a highly anticipated event, especially since his great benefactor, Nike, is headquartered here in town.
There you have it, I'm no Bill Simmons.
