The Cavs All-Stiff Team: UPDATED -- Nominations Still Open for PG (SG Closed with 10 nominations)

[2 For The Brew]

Chad Kinch is an outstanding call. My workplace in high school summers had a lot of ex-high school / college basketball players. The older guys knicknamed one new kid "Chad Kinch" as an inside joke. It's basically saying "you suck, dude". Then Chad Kinch died unexpectedly, I think it was a drug overdose. Those early 1980s college hoops stars have a lot of tragic endings.

In order to get the draft pick for Chad Kinch (and Don Ford) we traded away Butch Lee and what turned out to be the #1 overall pick (James Worthy).

We them traded away Chad and another First Round Pick (became Detlef Schremp) to get Geoff Huston.

Keys' use of the term "knicknamed" is hilarious whether accidental or intentional.

 

[cabs]

Joey Graham

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Joey Graham

I had forgotten about that guy. Which was a good thing.

 

[AllforOne]

When you pick a player in the lottery, you expect him to have an impact for years. The Cavs did just that in 2000, picking Jamal Crawford. Crawford went on to a 19-year NBA career as one of the best sixth men the game has ever seen.

Unfortunately, the Cavs got the benefit of none of those 19 years, because on draft night, they swapped Crawford for the player picked one spot before him ...

Chris Mihm - C


Positioning for a rebound? Or waiting for the Weed Fairy to drop blunts from the sky?

In the interests of trying to make it sound like the Cavs did OK in the trade, I'll point out that Mihm finished his career with more blocked shots and a better field-goal percentage than Crawford did! But that's about as much as I can shine that turd. Mihm spent two-plus lackluster seasons with the Cavs, during which time he accomplished ... shit, I'm not sure he did a damn thing while he was here.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

I think we need way more conversation going on around here about how bad Randolph Keys sucked.

I'll see you your Randolph Keys, and raise you a Jamario Moon.

ETA:

Okay, after reviewing their numbers, I delete my post and fold. Keys was much, much worse.

 

[Nathan S]

Another obscure stiff who deserves some recognition: Ryan Stack

It's not clear why Stack ended up in the NBA after averaging a modest 9.6 points per game as a college senior. But he didn't stay long. The lanky big averaged just 2.6 points per game on 38% shooting as a rookie, and those numbers declined to 2.1 points per game on 33% shooting his second and final year. In his last 10 games, he scored just 2 points on 1/14 shooting.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Another obscure stiff who deserves some recognition: Ryan Stack

It's not clear why Stack ended up in the NBA after averaging a modest 9.6 points per game as a college senior. But he didn't stay long. The lanky big averaged just 2.6 points per game on 38% shooting as a rookie, and those numbers declined to 2.1 points per game on 33% shooting his second and final year. In his last 10 games, he scored just 2 points on 1/14 shooting.

Completely forgot about him. Definitely going on the list.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Don't have time to do a write-up right now, but Christian Eyenga has to go on the list. I'll make sure I do one before the shooting guard voting thread goes up.

 

[AllforOne]

The great thing about a thread like this one is that it causes me to do some research, which then leads to discovering world-changing things I never knew before. Like finding out that there is a professional basketball team in the Philippines called the San Miguel Beermen.



But I digress. Our next nominee came to the Cavs in 1990, when the team traded not one ... not two ... but three picks (thankfully all second-rounders) for him. He had been a star in college, and in his 1.5 seasons in the NBA, had provided enough reason to think that the Cavs might be landing a useful player. I give you:

Derrick Chievous - SF



The one gaping hole on those late-80s/early-90s Cavs' teams (until they opened a second hole by trading Ron Harper, but I digress) was small forward. The Cavs traded for Chievous in the hope that he would be the man to fill the role.

(Ron Howard narrator voice): He didn't.

Chievous played a grand total of 32 games for the Cavs over two seasons, which turned out to be the last 32 games in his NBA career (and launched him on a tour of the world's second-tier leagues, which led him to the aforementioned Beermen). He had been a mid-first round pick just three years earlier, but was out of the league for good by age 23. Life comes at you fast.

ETA: the two things I remember about Chievous were (1) his odd habit of wearing a Band-Aid somewhere on his person every game and (2) the weird way he opened his mouth widely when attempting free throws. Probably not how most players want to be remembered.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Remember "Baby Jordan?"

Harold Miner

Miner was a 6'5" shooting guard with good hops who was nicknamed "Baby Jordan" because of his hops, and because of his habit of sticking his tongue out while making his move (note the tongue in the photo above). Drafted No. 12 overall by the Heat, they dumped him after his initial contract, and he was signed by the Cavs for the 95-96 season with the predictable reaction that he was going to turn around his career and be our own MJ Jr.

Yeah, right. Miner was just bad, but being the two time winner of the Slam Dunk contest meant that he never saw himself as anything other than a star, when he in fact was a stiff. He was basically the terrible kid on your team who wildly over-celebrates when he does anything remotely competent, and never did stop sticking out his tongue. As bad as he was offensively, you'd think maybe he had a decent floor game or defense.

You'd be wrong. He committed more personal fouls than assists and rebounds combined, had nearly a 1:2 assist/turnover ratio, and had a grand total of zero steals and zero blocks in the 19 games in which he appeared. He was released, mercifully, at the end of the season. He loved basketball so much that he never played anywhere else, retiring at the ripe old age of 24.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

The great thing about a thread like this one is that it causes me to do some research, which then leads to discovering world-changing things I never knew before. Like finding out that there is a professional basketball team in the Philippines called the San Miguel Beermen.

View attachment 3151

But I digress. Our next nominee came to the Cavs in 1990, when the team traded not one ... not two ... but three picks (thankfully all second-rounders) for him. He had been a star in college, and in his 1.5 seasons in the NBA, had provided enough reason to think that the Cavs might be landing a useful player. I give you:

Derrick Chievous - SF

View attachment 3152

The one gaping hole on those late-80s/early-90s Cavs' teams (until they opened a second hole by trading Ron Harper, but I digress) was small forward. The Cavs traded for Chievous in the hope that he would be the man to fill the role.

(Ron Howard narrator voice): He didn't.

Chievous played a grand total of 32 games for the Cavs over two seasons, which turned out to be the last 32 games in his NBA career (and launched him on a tour of the world's second-tier leagues, which led him to the aforementioned Beermen). He had been a mid-first round pick just three years earlier, but was out of the league for good by age 23. Life comes at you fast.

ETA: the two things I remember about Chievous were (1) his odd habit of wearing a Band-Aid somewhere on his person every game and (2) the weird way he opened his mouth widely when attempting free throws. Probably not how most players want to be remembered.

Derrick "Mis"Chievous. I can't believe I forgot that guy! Strong contender. Big bonus points for being a stiff when you have a quirk that makes no sense. That stupid band-aid, Miner sticking his tongue out of his mouth...awesome stuff.

 

[Sir'Dom Pointer]

Guys, I miss you all. I miss basketball. Argh!
Stay safe.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Check over my list on the front page, guys. If I missed someone, let me know so I can add him before opening up the voting threads. I generally stuck to the rule of only adding guys if they were mentioned in their own post, so if you mentioned a bunch of guys in one post and want to add them now, this is your chance.

 

[Bob_The_Cat]

I might be late to the game, but I think Mike Brown deserves at least an honorable mention.

Fired in 2010 by Cavs
Took a year off
Fired by Lakers in 2012, 5 games into second season
Fired by Cavs in 2014 after one season

Yeah, the Cavs had some success in Brown's first stint. How much we want to credit Brown for that, I don't know. However, if getting fired from three head coaching jobs in four years doesn't classify you as a stiff, I don't know what does.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

I might be late to the game, but I think Mike Brown deserves at least an honorable mention.

Fired in 2010 by Cavs
Took a year off
Fired by Lakers in 2012, 5 games into second season
Fired by Cavs in 2014 after one season

Yeah, the Cavs had some success in Brown's first stint. How much we want to credit Brown for that, I don't know. However, if getting fired from three head coaching jobs in four years doesn't classify you as a stiff, I don't know what does.

Not late at all -- taking nominations until midnight...or whenever I get to putting up the voting threads.