Mac
Slow Motion See Me Let Go
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2005
- Messages
- 10,542
- Reaction score
- 1,857
- Points
- 113
Got it in an email
Never agree to get married on a Saturday Ohio State is scheduled to
play
football. There are typically 40 other freakin' weekends to choose
from...sack up and make her choose one of those!
*Never attend a wedding during an Ohio State football game unless you
carry
a TV......and watch it even during the ceremony.
*It is OK to wear an OSU football jersey even when old....and fat....and
bald. Extra points if you've got an OSU baseball cap on backwards, sit
in
the "Huntington Club" seats and repeatedly spill stuff on anyone named
"Chas" or "Muffy." (Make sure you do so early and often because they'll
be
long gone by the end of the third period). Maybe some "real" fans will
take
their seats.
*Always, and I mean ALWAYS, return any "O...H" with a hearty "I...O."
This
is true even during funerals, sex, in foreign countries or when
witnessing
the birth of your child.
*When driving on I-75 during spring break season (March through April),
every fifth vehicle you see with Michigan license plates should be
honked
at then flipped off. By Tennessee, even those dumb SOB's should get the
point.
*When Notre Dame plays Michigan, it is mandatory to despise both teams.
There are no winners.
*You cannot have a second favorite football team behind OSU. You are
permitted to have another team (non-Big Ten or ND) that you hate less
than
the others.
*It is OK to be emotional (and even "tear" up) during the following:
-Script Ohio
-Your child's first Buckeye game
-Carmen Ohio
-During a Tressel speech
-Listening to "What I Want"
-Remembering Woody
-After beating Michigan
-Winning the National Championship
-Hearing Brett Musberger exclaim,"Holy Buckeye!"
-When NFL Buckeyes state on MNF that they are from "THE" Ohio State
University.
-Hearing the phrase, "Rest easy Woody, the new man has arrived."
Ramp entrance
*It is not cool to make fun of the Neutron Man. Especially now that he
is
watching games with Woody.
*Buckeye necklaces must be worn at all times on game day from the time
you
leave your place of abode until you return. One other time: If you
happen
to get desperate and are in the process of bagging a girl from Michigan,
you must have on your Buckeye necklace to ward off any feelings of
affection. (This is true even if you go over to the dark side and marry
her).
*Always take off your hat during Carmen Ohio and physically remove the
hats
of anyone in your vicinity who fails to do so.
*Everyone should rush the field after an OSU home victory over Michigan
at
least once in their lifetime. (Extra kudos for those of you who rushed
the
field at IU and tore down THEIR goalposts a few years ago...c'mon you
know
who you are!).
*Once your children attain age ten, they should be allowed to say "F"
Michigan but only during game day in your presence.
*Attending Skull Session is mandatory at least once each season.
*ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every opportunity.
*We must all pray that the next president of OSU has more of a clue than
the present one.
*When you die, you must have at least one item of Buckeye memorabilia
with
you. (Specify which one in your will, that way your spouse won't pick
something stupid).
*Your children should be taught to let you know when they "have to take
a
Wolverine."
*You must be willing to die to defend your right to drink beer during
tailgates.
*You are forbidden to fall for the National Media crap sandwich that Joe
Pa
is still a "good guy." In reality, he is a bitter, senile old man
reduced
to a cheerleader and referee-baitor. His credibility went south forever
when he hired Galen "Cheatin" Hall to resurrect his sorry football
program.
*Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any game. This is true even
if
it puts your job/career at risk.
*Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to survive the summer.
*When in church, it is not sacrilegious to count being a Buckeye as one
of
your blessings.
*Try to never boo a former or current Buckeye football player.
*Correct anyone who doesn't refer to OSU as "THE" Ohio State University.
If
they argue with you over what they think to be a nit-picky point, you
are
free to kick their a$$.
*When making fun of guys in marching bands always caveat your comments
with
a statement that, regardless of what you just said, anyone in TBDBITL is
very cool.
*Admit that secretly, you wished you played tuba and could dot the "i."
You'd even be willing to put on a few dozen pounds to look the part.
*You would not trade the opportunity to swill beer while listening to
The
Danger Brothers after an OSU victory over Michigan for tickets to any
rock
band that has ever existed.
*It is important to consider the "good old days" ARE NOW. Enjoy them
even
when OSU doesn't win the NC.
*Scarlet and Gray always works. Maize and Blue is always gay. Not that
there is anything wrong with that.
*Drinking alcohol before 9:00 A.M. is, at best, immature, and likely, a
sign of a serious problem. Except on game day.
*It is never ok to talk to a stranger at the urinal next to you unless
he
is dressed in OSU garb. That said, the topic should be limited to
Buckeye
football.
*There are no bad seats in Ohio Stadium.
*If you attend a game at Wisconsin, you must never engage in "Jump
Around"
at the end of the third quarter no matter how tempting. Also, never, and
I
mean never, take your kids to a Wisconsin game unless you want to
explain
why everyone there are drunken jerks.
*If your wife asks you what was the greatest night of your life, admit
the
truth that it was January 3, 2003. Sex isn't as important or rewarding
as
that NC.
*Plant a Buckeye tree in your yard.
*Hang a Buckeye flag on game day. If any of your neighbors counter with
a
Michigan flag, it is your solemn duty to tear it down and deface it
anyway
you see fit.
*It is "ok" to not get the drum major thing; it is "not ok" to fail to
cheer when the plume touches the field.
*Be thankful beer is not sold during the game. It leaves more room for
HineyGate.
*In honor of Woody, the principle of "paying forward" should be
practiced
at all times by all Buckeyes.
January 18, 2001: A date that will live in infamy (for fans of
t.s.u.n.)!
4-1, baby!!!
I hope that you have a great day, and LET'S GO BUCKS!!!
Never agree to get married on a Saturday Ohio State is scheduled to
play
football. There are typically 40 other freakin' weekends to choose
from...sack up and make her choose one of those!
*Never attend a wedding during an Ohio State football game unless you
carry
a TV......and watch it even during the ceremony.
*It is OK to wear an OSU football jersey even when old....and fat....and
bald. Extra points if you've got an OSU baseball cap on backwards, sit
in
the "Huntington Club" seats and repeatedly spill stuff on anyone named
"Chas" or "Muffy." (Make sure you do so early and often because they'll
be
long gone by the end of the third period). Maybe some "real" fans will
take
their seats.
*Always, and I mean ALWAYS, return any "O...H" with a hearty "I...O."
This
is true even during funerals, sex, in foreign countries or when
witnessing
the birth of your child.
*When driving on I-75 during spring break season (March through April),
every fifth vehicle you see with Michigan license plates should be
honked
at then flipped off. By Tennessee, even those dumb SOB's should get the
point.
*When Notre Dame plays Michigan, it is mandatory to despise both teams.
There are no winners.
*You cannot have a second favorite football team behind OSU. You are
permitted to have another team (non-Big Ten or ND) that you hate less
than
the others.
*It is OK to be emotional (and even "tear" up) during the following:
-Script Ohio
-Your child's first Buckeye game
-Carmen Ohio
-During a Tressel speech
-Listening to "What I Want"
-Remembering Woody
-After beating Michigan
-Winning the National Championship
-Hearing Brett Musberger exclaim,"Holy Buckeye!"
-When NFL Buckeyes state on MNF that they are from "THE" Ohio State
University.
-Hearing the phrase, "Rest easy Woody, the new man has arrived."
Ramp entrance
*It is not cool to make fun of the Neutron Man. Especially now that he
is
watching games with Woody.
*Buckeye necklaces must be worn at all times on game day from the time
you
leave your place of abode until you return. One other time: If you
happen
to get desperate and are in the process of bagging a girl from Michigan,
you must have on your Buckeye necklace to ward off any feelings of
affection. (This is true even if you go over to the dark side and marry
her).
*Always take off your hat during Carmen Ohio and physically remove the
hats
of anyone in your vicinity who fails to do so.
*Everyone should rush the field after an OSU home victory over Michigan
at
least once in their lifetime. (Extra kudos for those of you who rushed
the
field at IU and tore down THEIR goalposts a few years ago...c'mon you
know
who you are!).
*Once your children attain age ten, they should be allowed to say "F"
Michigan but only during game day in your presence.
*Attending Skull Session is mandatory at least once each season.
*ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every opportunity.
*We must all pray that the next president of OSU has more of a clue than
the present one.
*When you die, you must have at least one item of Buckeye memorabilia
with
you. (Specify which one in your will, that way your spouse won't pick
something stupid).
*Your children should be taught to let you know when they "have to take
a
Wolverine."
*You must be willing to die to defend your right to drink beer during
tailgates.
*You are forbidden to fall for the National Media crap sandwich that Joe
Pa
is still a "good guy." In reality, he is a bitter, senile old man
reduced
to a cheerleader and referee-baitor. His credibility went south forever
when he hired Galen "Cheatin" Hall to resurrect his sorry football
program.
*Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any game. This is true even
if
it puts your job/career at risk.
*Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to survive the summer.
*When in church, it is not sacrilegious to count being a Buckeye as one
of
your blessings.
*Try to never boo a former or current Buckeye football player.
*Correct anyone who doesn't refer to OSU as "THE" Ohio State University.
If
they argue with you over what they think to be a nit-picky point, you
are
free to kick their a$$.
*When making fun of guys in marching bands always caveat your comments
with
a statement that, regardless of what you just said, anyone in TBDBITL is
very cool.
*Admit that secretly, you wished you played tuba and could dot the "i."
You'd even be willing to put on a few dozen pounds to look the part.
*You would not trade the opportunity to swill beer while listening to
The
Danger Brothers after an OSU victory over Michigan for tickets to any
rock
band that has ever existed.
*It is important to consider the "good old days" ARE NOW. Enjoy them
even
when OSU doesn't win the NC.
*Scarlet and Gray always works. Maize and Blue is always gay. Not that
there is anything wrong with that.
*Drinking alcohol before 9:00 A.M. is, at best, immature, and likely, a
sign of a serious problem. Except on game day.
*It is never ok to talk to a stranger at the urinal next to you unless
he
is dressed in OSU garb. That said, the topic should be limited to
Buckeye
football.
*There are no bad seats in Ohio Stadium.
*If you attend a game at Wisconsin, you must never engage in "Jump
Around"
at the end of the third quarter no matter how tempting. Also, never, and
I
mean never, take your kids to a Wisconsin game unless you want to
explain
why everyone there are drunken jerks.
*If your wife asks you what was the greatest night of your life, admit
the
truth that it was January 3, 2003. Sex isn't as important or rewarding
as
that NC.
*Plant a Buckeye tree in your yard.
*Hang a Buckeye flag on game day. If any of your neighbors counter with
a
Michigan flag, it is your solemn duty to tear it down and deface it
anyway
you see fit.
*It is "ok" to not get the drum major thing; it is "not ok" to fail to
cheer when the plume touches the field.
*Be thankful beer is not sold during the game. It leaves more room for
HineyGate.
*In honor of Woody, the principle of "paying forward" should be
practiced
at all times by all Buckeyes.
January 18, 2001: A date that will live in infamy (for fans of
t.s.u.n.)!
4-1, baby!!!
I hope that you have a great day, and LET'S GO BUCKS!!!
