Time for some Elimination Chamber predictions!
---
Handicap Match - Dolph Ziggler Vs. Kalisto & Apollo Crews
Hard to really give a crap about this one. I was fine with Ziggler's heel turn, but it just doesn't work when he's beating down faces that we've been given no reason to care for. Kalisto has been irrelevant since his feud with Ryback a year ago, and Apollo Crews has done nothing of note since being sent to the main roster. He hasn't had a real feud yet and doesn't really have a character. This is also a strange match, as handicap matches usually work better with two heels. Still, I'd have to imagine that Ziggler either figures out a way to win or gets himself disqualified via a beatdown of both his opponents with a weapon of some sort. Otherwise, what's the point?
Winner: Dolph Ziggler (or possibly loser by intentional DQ)
---
Nikki Bella Vs. Natalya
The Battle of the Implants. About the only interesting thing about this feud has been the shoot promos that Natalya has cut on Nikki, calling her out for all the things that the fans have said about her over the years. This match doesn't interest me in the slightest. I find Natalya to be a horrendously boring wrestler, and she just seems a step slow compared to women like Lynch and Banks. For all the talk of what a great worker Nattie is, I think Nikki has surpassed her, although Nikki still isn't in the top tier for the division at this point. I can't see Natalya winning this one, as they are likely setting Nikki up for her retirement match at Wrestlemania.
Winner: Nikki Bella
---
Becky Lynch Vs. Mickie James
Unlike the previous women's match, I've actually enjoyed the build for this one. Mickie and Becky have done good work on the mic without resorting to the bitchiness of Nikki and Nattie. Mickie cost Becky the Women's Championship, and she's justifiably pissed. Simple but effective. I also think this should be a lot more fun in the ring than the previous match. I think Becky is the best female worker on the main roster, and Mickie proved she can still go at Takeover: Toronto against Asuka. This is a tough one to call since Mickie just came back and Becky could use the win. I'm going to go with Mickie, though, since she needs to reestablish herself.
Winner: Mickie James
---
Luke Harper Vs. Randy Orton
Well, this should be a fun if predictable match. It's hard to see Orton losing unless they are angling for a Wyatt triple threat at 'Mania. And while that would be cool, I don't think that's where they're going here. Orton is likely going to win this one to keep him strong heading into his title match at Wrestlemania.
Winner: Randy Orton
---
Smackdown Women's Championship Match - Alexa Bliss (c) Vs. Naomi
The Battle of the Booty. Seriously...there's a lot of ass to go around in this one. Naomi has been doing really well of late. I like that she's gotten away from her former finisher, because it was fucking stupid. She's been fine on the mic (I can't remember the last time I heard her cut a promo before this feud, by the way) as well. All that said, it's hard to see her getting a win here, especially when you factor in that she's beaten Bliss a few times on Smackdown leading up to Elimination Chamber. I think we get the Bliss/Lynch rematch at 'Mania, which means Alexa walks in the champ.
Winner: Alexa Bliss
---
Smackdown Tag Team Championship Turmoil Match - American Alpha (c) Vs. The Usos Vs. The Vaudevillains Vs. Slater & Rhyno Vs. Breezango Vs. The Ascension
I look at this match and think...holy shit the Smackdown tag division is awful. It makes it all the more baffling that they had Wyatt and Orton drop the tag titles so soon. Instead of having Orton win the Rumble, I think they should have had him and Wyatt hold onto the tag straps for a time, elevating the new titles and the division in the process. Instead, we're left with American Alpha and...a lot of garbage. Three of these teams (Breezango, the Ascension, and the Vaudevillians) don't even belong in this match because none of them have done a goddamn thing on the main roster. I also honestly have no idea why this isn't an elimination chamber match, as they'll have the thing hanging from the fucking rafters anyway and there are six teams involved. Maybe that will be a last minute change on Sunday? Anyway, hard to see American Alpha losing the straps here, and I really, really fucking hope the Revival get called up soon, because this division desperately needs some new blood.
Winner: American Alpha
---
Elimination Chamber WWE Championship Match - John Cena (c) Vs. AJ Styles Vs. Dean Ambrose Vs. Bray Wyatt Vs. The Miz Vs. Baron Corbin
The fact that John Cena is very unlikely to walk out of this PPV as champ makes it somewhat insane that they even put the strap on him two weeks ago at all. It seemed designed solely to give him that sixteenth title win rather than to serve any meaningful purpose. My guess is that Miz costs him the win somehow, maybe after being eliminated, leading to the rumored Miz/Maryse/Cena/Nikki mixed tag match at 'Mania. Beyond that, with Orton winning the Rumble, Wyatt winning seems to make the most sense even if I think the belt would be better served in the hands of Styles (who was the WWE's top performer in 2016) or Miz (who himself was fantastic in 2016 and elevated the IC title in a way that Ambrose surely won't).
Winner: Bray Wyatt