Cancer fucking sucks (Prayers/thoughts for my dad)

[Frank Reynolds]

That's my biggest fear, and to hear that you are going thru it; sucks brother, we're all here for you.

I have used RCF at points when life has had me very down, and it's an amazing influx of good people, diverse opinions. I feel like I know many of you, without ever having met any of you.

There's something to be said for that, and our relationship in this community. X, I hope your dad comes through, and I'm glad you have the option to at least try to ease his pain, and give him any type of enjoyment; sounds like he's been through a lot, so have you.

Stay tough. When you got a lot of good people on here prayin for you, without ever having met 99% of these people, good things can happen.

I believe the man is going to pull through. Even though it's easy to keep looking at this as a multi-faceted, emotionally smothering, avalanche of bad things happening.

Just have to remember that it could be the biggest test in your life. Even if the worst case scenario happens, our ultimate challenge it to take something negative, and use it as fuel so that we can take our parent's torch and advance it a step further. They inevitably pass on, and we're responsible for running with the baton. We have conveniences and resources that they didn't get a chance to have.

You've always seemed like a street smart guy X, so I think you will find employment, remain true to yourself, and let them see who you really are. It's gotta be tough to deal with these two things simultaneously, but if you need help, you know people on here will always empathize and give you any kind of advice to help keep everything in perspective.

 

[Man Called X]

So first day of the oil, he's been pretty tired most of the time, pretty buzzed/loopy. But, he's gotten more sleep than he has for weeks. His pain levels are down pretty considerably when he's feeling the effects.

Medical bills are starting to come in, and let me tell you, just wow. When we're all said and done, they're gonna total more than I'll make in 10 years time I think. I don't even want to post this, but I'm going to anyway. I've set up a fundraiser on youcaring.com since they deduct no fees other than processing fees unlike places like gofundme or others. All money will go towards his rising medical bills and/or final expenses should the worst arise. Anything that would exceed the amounts needed will be donated to a lung cancer research fund.

If you can spare a dollar, it'll go a long way. If you can't afford it, by all means, don't. Just knowing that there are countless people out there that care, and are praying/thinking of him is amazing and overwhelming.

https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/fight-lung-cancer-with-boone/219688


You know it's funny, if not for my dad, I probably would've never got into basketball. And it was the 1st Lebron era Cavs that really helped us bond as I became an adult.

Thank you all for letting me post here, vent here, cry here.

 

[OptimusPrime]

We're praying for you guys X. I lost my father to cancer when I was in high school. I don't know if cannabis oil will do anything, my dad just smoked it to deal with the pain.

I do think there is something to some of these natural treatments though. It makes sense why the government and drug industry wouldn't want a cure out there, especially a natural one they can't patent. I don't know if cannabis oil is one that works, but I wish you luck.

 

[Man Called X]

We're praying for you guys X. I lost my father to cancer when I was in high school. I don't know if cannabis oil will do anything, my dad just smoked it to deal with the pain.

I do think there is something to some of these natural treatments though. It makes sense why the government and drug industry wouldn't want a cure out there, especially a natural one they can't patent. I don't know if cannabis oil is one that works, but I wish you luck.

I don't know if it is either. Dad has always enjoyed a joint, but he just can't handle smoking it anymore. Even vaporizing is too rough on him. The way I look at it, is at least he's comfortable and enjoying a buzz. If it doesn't save his life, so be it. I understand the reality of his situation and diagnosis. If it does however cure him, then I'll spend the rest of my life growing and making oil for anyone and everyone that needs it. I got no problem devoting my life to telling his story and saving lives.

 

[cavfanintexas]

I don't know if it is either. Dad has always enjoyed a joint, but he just can't handle smoking it anymore. Even vaporizing is too rough on him. The way I look at it, is at least he's comfortable and enjoying a buzz. If it doesn't save his life, so be it. I understand the reality of his situation and diagnosis. If it does however cure him, then I'll spend the rest of my life growing and making oil for anyone and everyone that needs it. I got no problem devoting my life to telling his story and saving lives.

I really wish I could help you with some of the cost but just got out of the hospital after a real bad chemo session and stuck with 22,000 bill that trying to fight but think I'm going to lose if I win where can I send you some of it. send me a personal message

 

[TheAdmin]

RCF donated... our thoughts are with you.

 

[Maximus]

Just saw this, I'm so sorry for X and all of you that have shared your cancer stories.

X, this probably isn't what you want to be thinking about right now, but if your dad has anything of value or an insurance policy, you may want to talk to an attorney and do some estate planning. Especially if you are already planning on filing BK and you are his sole beneficiary. If you file and then the worst happens, the court will want anything you stand to inherit, cash in on, or sell. If he has a policy or anything of value, you might want to consider making your daughter or someone else you trust the beneficiary...talk to a lawyer.

I'm sure he will fight through this and be fine...but it's good to be prepared if things don't work out.

I'll donate soon. Hang in there.

 

[Man Called X]

Just saw this, I'm so sorry for X and all of you that have shared your cancer stories.

X, this probably isn't what you want to be thinking about right now, but if your dad has anything of value or an insurance policy, you may want to talk to an attorney and do some estate planning. Especially if you are already planning on filing BK and you are his sole beneficiary. If you file and then the worst happens, the court will want anything you stand to inherit, cash in on, or sell. If he has a policy or anything of value, you might want to consider making your daughter or someone else you trust the beneficiary...talk to a lawyer.

I'm sure he will fight through this and be fine...but it's good to be prepared if things don't work out.

I'll donate soon. Hang in there.

Unfortunately got nothing like that to worry about. All I'm going to have is an old jeep that's worth nothing and all his debt + mine.

 

[Man Called X]

It might just be wishful thinking, or my own imagination. He had his first chemo treatment yesterday, but started the oil on Saturday.

I noticed the lymph nodes in his neck are nowhere near as swollen as they had been. Noticed it slightly before the chemo, but seems to at least not be as hard. Doubt it means anything or that the oil did it, but it gives me something to hold onto as hope.

 

[Snarly]

Good luck best wishes to you and your dad. Losing or seeing any loved one suffer is the worst, again my prayers go out to you.

 

[Man Called X]

And his feet were swollen up starting the day after chemo. The nurse at the oncologists office said to keep them elevated and if it didn't clear up in 2 days, to call them back. I called thursday morning first thing when their office opened as I hadn't seen any change. Took him to the ER when they hadn't called back in two hours. There was fluid build up around his heart and a bit around his lungs. 7 hours later, they made the decision to transport him back to Cleveland Clinic. He's got surgery scheduled today for an "echocardio window" I'm pretty sure I got that wrong. Basically an incision to allow the fluid to drain to an area around the lungs that is set up to transport it away. Chemo has definitely been kicking his ass. Hurts to watch him be so miserable.

 

[Nicky]

And his feet were swollen up starting the day after chemo. The nurse at the oncologists office said to keep them elevated and if it didn't clear up in 2 days, to call them back. I called thursday morning first thing when their office opened as I hadn't seen any change. Took him to the ER when they hadn't called back in two hours. There was fluid build up around his heart and a bit around his lungs. 7 hours later, they made the decision to transport him back to Cleveland Clinic. He's got surgery scheduled today for an "echocardio window" I'm pretty sure I got that wrong. Basically an incision to allow the fluid to drain to an area around the lungs that is set up to transport it away. Chemo has definitely been kicking his ass. Hurts to watch him be so miserable.

I'm sorry X,
You're right about the echocardio window. If I'm not mistaken, I believe they will make 3 incisions for the fluid to drain "evenly".
You are definitely on top of everything that you need to be. Very diligent, and there is no doubt that your father knows and appreciates everything that you're doing for him.

Wish you all the best.

 

[mubb98]

X, Let us know how the surgery went. The Clinic is one of the best hospitals in the world so he is in good hands. You are doing a fantastic job of caring for him and when my turn comes I pray my kids can live up to the hardship the way that you have. Hang in there, its unfortunate that we have to go through this type of thing but its part of life (the shitty part). I know it hurts to watch him but believe me your Dad is very proud of you.
If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me, I've been through it....

 

[Man Called X]

X, Let us know how the surgery went. The Clinic is one of the best hospitals in the world so he is in good hands. You are doing a fantastic job of caring for him and when my turn comes I pray my kids can live up to the hardship the way that you have. Hang in there, its unfortunate that we have to go through this type of thing but its part of life (the shitty part). I know it hurts to watch him but believe me your Dad is very proud of you.
If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me, I've been through it....

To be quite honest, I've felt like I've been failing. Frustrations, seeing decline and not being able to stop it. I understand it's part of the equation and I'm not failing. One thing that going through all this has helped with is the leftover guilt I've carried around since my mom died. Spent a lot of time hating myself because I felt guilty that she died. That I somehow caused it, etc. Being able to do this for Dad has made me come to peace with a lot of that old guilt. Coming to grips with the guilt I feel towards my Dad is another story, but is another wound that time will heal. I really just want to get him home and back on the oil.

 

[mubb98]

To be quite honest, I've felt like I've been failing. Frustrations, seeing decline and not being able to stop it. I understand it's part of the equation and I'm not failing. One thing that going through all this has helped with is the leftover guilt I've carried around since my mom died. Spent a lot of time hating myself because I felt guilty that she died. That I somehow caused it, etc. Being able to do this for Dad has made me come to peace with a lot of that old guilt. Coming to grips with the guilt I feel towards my Dad is another story, but is another wound that time will heal. I really just want to get him home and back on the oil.

Guilt.... I felt the same thing. My Dad had Alzheimer's when I was in my early twenty's (and still living at home) and the way I dealt with it was by staying away from the situation. When my Mom got sick I did a complete 180 and even though I had my own family at the time I was by her side every day. Mostly due to maturity but some of it was driven by not making the same mistake I did with my Dad. So I do understand where you are coming from even if the underlying situations are different.
We all have things that we look back on and wish we could change and facing your Dad's illness brings those things to the forefront but as you mentioned it also allows us to heal. You are doing a hell of a job under very trying and tiring times and its OK to cry, scream or punch a hole in a wall. This forum is a good way to let out your emotions and there are people here who really do care and really are offering prayers and good wishes to your Dad and you.
Keep the faith, he will be home soon!