Jack Brickman
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Since I decided to take the night off from punishing my liver after it took a drubbing last night, I'm going to go ahead and post my Night of the Champions predictions...
Neville & the Lucha Dragons Vs. the Cosmic Wasteland
I feel kind of bad for Neville stuck in undercard hell, but this should be a pretty good match. Neville is fantastic, Cody is pretty solid, I'm a big fan of the Luchas as a B-level tag team, and the WWE finally figured out something to do with the Ascension. This should be a good fit for them since they're nowhere near the tag title right now.
Logic dictates that the Cosmic Wasteland should come away with the win after Stardust lost at the last PPV to Neville and Stephen Amell, but the face usually wins the pre-show bout so I'm going with Neville and the Lucha Dragons.
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Dolph Ziggler Vs. Rusev w/ Summer Rae
I'm guessing this was meant to be a mixed tag match before Lana broke her arm, but whatever. Rusev has been the best part of this feud and he needs the push more than Ziggler does, but I think this one lasts one more PPV. The best way to end this one is for Summer to turn on Rusev and Dolph to turn heel. Winner: Ziggler, or possibly Rusev via DQ. Either way, it amounts to Ziggler coming out on top.
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Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, & Mystery Man Vs. the Wyatt Family
Like, there's no way the Wyatts lose this one, right? The WWE has some bad booking, but introducing a new monster heel and having him lose his first big match is too dumb for even them to botch. The only way the Wyatts lose this match is if the mystery partner is the Rock, and only then because I can't see the Rock returning for a B-level PPV to eat a loss. I can't see him returning for a B-level PPV at all, actually, and I certainly can't see WWE not promoting the fuck out of it if he was.
I'm not sure who the mystery partner will be. The smartest choice, provided he was medically cleared, would be Daniel Bryan. The crowd would go nuts, and Strowman would look all the more powerful if he laid a beatdown on the former world champ and biggest face in the WWE. Kane would be a typical WWE pick in that it really makes no sense and would be underwhelming as fuck, so he's probably the most likely choice. Jericho would be fine and fun, and he typically shows up to job these days so it wouldn't be a big deal for him to eat the pin. An Uso would be boring as all hell unless they plan to turn Roman heel at this event, but I don't think they will and, more importantly, I don't think this is the best time to turn him. This should be about the Wyatts coming into power as a dominant stable and Roman turning would detract from that. I also don't think this is the time to debut an NXT guy (since the Wyatts are probably winning) unless they're going to recreate the Shield and make him a full-time part of it.
Whatever. The Wyatts win standing over the crumpled bodies of Ambrose, Reigns, and their mystery man and we get another match at Hell in a Cell, possibly in the titular Cell.
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Seth Rollins Vs. John Cena for the US Title
I just can't see Seth Rollins winning this one. For starters, having him hold two titles is dumb for a multitude of reasons. He's an established main eventer and doesn't need the US Title to validate him. Give the belt back to Cena to keep him in the mid-card, bring back the open challenge to keep him busy, let him get back to burying up-and-coming talent, and everyone can move on with their lives.
John Cena wins after eating eight Pedigrees and kicking out of every single one and no-selling half of Rollins' moves. Same as it ever was. Still, this should be a great match.
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Ryback Vs. Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title
Well, we're about to officially see if the WWE is pushing Owens or burying him in mid-card hell. Kevin Owens should win this match. He deserves to win this match after getting screwed over with the US Title a few months back. He's one of the five best in-ring guys in the WWE right now and arguably the best heel on the mic of any actual wrestler (Heyman and Steph are better, but they don't wrestle). Giving him a belt would legitimize him in the eyes of the fans, especially if he's given a dominant run with the belt like he was in NXT.
The smart move here is an Owens win and a nice title run that lasts until Sammy Zayne comes back for revenge at a Wrestlemania bout. Owens doesn't necessarily have to drop the title in that bout, but that's the logical end-game for Owens' first title run on the regular roster.
Owens wins. For the love of god, please let me be right.
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The New Day Vs. the Dudley Boyz
Honestly, I don't really think it matters who wins this match. The New Day are totally over right now and everyone loves the Dudleys. A loss won't really hurt either team, and we're almost definitely getting a longer feud than just this match anyway. If I were booking it, I'd have the New Day win via some shenanigans from Xavier Woods, which leads to either a No DQ or Table match at Hell in a Cell next month and an eventual six-man tag when Spike Dudley inevitably returns. Either way, the Dudleys are going to win the belts at some point, but ultimately I expect New Day come out on top in the feud.
The New Day pick up the win and then next month, D-Von, GET THE TABLES.
I anxiously await seeing how the WWE screws up what should be the easiest booking in the world.
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Nikki Bella Vs. Charlotte for the Women's Title
Charlotte should already be the champion, really, but the WWE just had to be petty and erase AJ Lee's name from the record books which, by the way, don't even fucking matter because it's all fake. I guess now they don't have to mention Lee's name any more, but they didn't even have to do that to begin with, which makes it all the more fucking stupid.
Anyway, WWE has successfully sucked all the life out of this feud. Just give Charlotte the belt, put the Bellas in a position where they can walk around and look pretty with limited interaction with the actual talented women, and let's get a feud cooking between Charlotte and Sasha Banks.
The only wild card here is Paige, as she works better as a heel and could cost Charlotte the match. I personally think that's a terrible idea, as the "Diva's Revolution" has already been neutered by the WWE's generally awful booking, but it's dumb enough to have a realistic shot of happening. Regardless, Nikki has to drop her belt to a real wrestler at some point in the near future. Might as well be now.
Charlotte wins and maybe we get an actual revolution that starts with some intelligent booking.
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Seth Rollins Vs. Sting for the WWE Title
I'm torn about this match. From a business standpoint, it probably makes more sense for Sting to win the title and hold onto it for a couple of months to draw in viewers during football season. From a booking and creative standpoint, Sting has been stronger this entire feud, so Rollins should walk away with the win. From a moving forward standpoint, keeping the belt on Rollins makes more sense than having him drop it to a 56-year-old part-timer. I honestly don't know which direction the WWE will go, although they'll probably figure out the best way to fuck it all up.
I read a comment online somewhere that a fun outcome would be for Sting to win the title, then retire on Raw the following night, thus vacating the title. Triple H and Steph announce a tournament for the vacated title, but then Sheamus comes out and cashes in his briefcase. Since the title is vacated, he just takes the belt for free. That would honestly be the only clever and fun way to give Sheamus the belt. It won't happen, and I don't think Sting is going to retire before winning a match at Mania, but it would be clever.
Anyway, my personal best case scenario for this match is a Rollins face turn when Triple H turns on him, which should have happened during the Lesnar match. I've always thought the best way for the Authority to turn on Rollins would be to have him be losing a match, only for Triple H to come to the ring with his sledgehammer. Trips acts like he's going to get in the ring, then just shakes his head and lets Rollins get beat down. The problem is that I don't think that works all that well with Sting. It would have been perfect in a Lesnar match, but I just don't see Sting believably destroying Rollins. He could get a win, sure, but a beatdown? I'm not sold. Still, if they're content to have Sting walk away with the belt, now would be as good a time as any for Trips to turn on Rollins. That could lead to a Hell in a Cell match between Rollins and Triple H next month before Sting eventually drops the belt back to the now popular Rollins.
Second best scenario would be Sheamus cashing in the briefcase and losing to whoever picks up the win. That would be another nice way to get Rollins over. People love an underdog, and if Rollins has to fight his third match of the night and pulls off a win against Sheamus, the crowd will love him for it.
And while Sting winning would probably make the most sense financially, I'm going to go with Rollins to retain the title.
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Now we just kick back and see how the WWE fucks all of this up. Really, though, it's a pretty good card for a B-level PPV. There should be at least three or four great matches from that list.
Neville & the Lucha Dragons Vs. the Cosmic Wasteland
I feel kind of bad for Neville stuck in undercard hell, but this should be a pretty good match. Neville is fantastic, Cody is pretty solid, I'm a big fan of the Luchas as a B-level tag team, and the WWE finally figured out something to do with the Ascension. This should be a good fit for them since they're nowhere near the tag title right now.
Logic dictates that the Cosmic Wasteland should come away with the win after Stardust lost at the last PPV to Neville and Stephen Amell, but the face usually wins the pre-show bout so I'm going with Neville and the Lucha Dragons.
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Dolph Ziggler Vs. Rusev w/ Summer Rae
I'm guessing this was meant to be a mixed tag match before Lana broke her arm, but whatever. Rusev has been the best part of this feud and he needs the push more than Ziggler does, but I think this one lasts one more PPV. The best way to end this one is for Summer to turn on Rusev and Dolph to turn heel. Winner: Ziggler, or possibly Rusev via DQ. Either way, it amounts to Ziggler coming out on top.
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Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, & Mystery Man Vs. the Wyatt Family
Like, there's no way the Wyatts lose this one, right? The WWE has some bad booking, but introducing a new monster heel and having him lose his first big match is too dumb for even them to botch. The only way the Wyatts lose this match is if the mystery partner is the Rock, and only then because I can't see the Rock returning for a B-level PPV to eat a loss. I can't see him returning for a B-level PPV at all, actually, and I certainly can't see WWE not promoting the fuck out of it if he was.
I'm not sure who the mystery partner will be. The smartest choice, provided he was medically cleared, would be Daniel Bryan. The crowd would go nuts, and Strowman would look all the more powerful if he laid a beatdown on the former world champ and biggest face in the WWE. Kane would be a typical WWE pick in that it really makes no sense and would be underwhelming as fuck, so he's probably the most likely choice. Jericho would be fine and fun, and he typically shows up to job these days so it wouldn't be a big deal for him to eat the pin. An Uso would be boring as all hell unless they plan to turn Roman heel at this event, but I don't think they will and, more importantly, I don't think this is the best time to turn him. This should be about the Wyatts coming into power as a dominant stable and Roman turning would detract from that. I also don't think this is the time to debut an NXT guy (since the Wyatts are probably winning) unless they're going to recreate the Shield and make him a full-time part of it.
Whatever. The Wyatts win standing over the crumpled bodies of Ambrose, Reigns, and their mystery man and we get another match at Hell in a Cell, possibly in the titular Cell.
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Seth Rollins Vs. John Cena for the US Title
I just can't see Seth Rollins winning this one. For starters, having him hold two titles is dumb for a multitude of reasons. He's an established main eventer and doesn't need the US Title to validate him. Give the belt back to Cena to keep him in the mid-card, bring back the open challenge to keep him busy, let him get back to burying up-and-coming talent, and everyone can move on with their lives.
John Cena wins after eating eight Pedigrees and kicking out of every single one and no-selling half of Rollins' moves. Same as it ever was. Still, this should be a great match.
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Ryback Vs. Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title
Well, we're about to officially see if the WWE is pushing Owens or burying him in mid-card hell. Kevin Owens should win this match. He deserves to win this match after getting screwed over with the US Title a few months back. He's one of the five best in-ring guys in the WWE right now and arguably the best heel on the mic of any actual wrestler (Heyman and Steph are better, but they don't wrestle). Giving him a belt would legitimize him in the eyes of the fans, especially if he's given a dominant run with the belt like he was in NXT.
The smart move here is an Owens win and a nice title run that lasts until Sammy Zayne comes back for revenge at a Wrestlemania bout. Owens doesn't necessarily have to drop the title in that bout, but that's the logical end-game for Owens' first title run on the regular roster.
Owens wins. For the love of god, please let me be right.
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The New Day Vs. the Dudley Boyz
Honestly, I don't really think it matters who wins this match. The New Day are totally over right now and everyone loves the Dudleys. A loss won't really hurt either team, and we're almost definitely getting a longer feud than just this match anyway. If I were booking it, I'd have the New Day win via some shenanigans from Xavier Woods, which leads to either a No DQ or Table match at Hell in a Cell next month and an eventual six-man tag when Spike Dudley inevitably returns. Either way, the Dudleys are going to win the belts at some point, but ultimately I expect New Day come out on top in the feud.
The New Day pick up the win and then next month, D-Von, GET THE TABLES.
I anxiously await seeing how the WWE screws up what should be the easiest booking in the world.
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Nikki Bella Vs. Charlotte for the Women's Title
Charlotte should already be the champion, really, but the WWE just had to be petty and erase AJ Lee's name from the record books which, by the way, don't even fucking matter because it's all fake. I guess now they don't have to mention Lee's name any more, but they didn't even have to do that to begin with, which makes it all the more fucking stupid.
Anyway, WWE has successfully sucked all the life out of this feud. Just give Charlotte the belt, put the Bellas in a position where they can walk around and look pretty with limited interaction with the actual talented women, and let's get a feud cooking between Charlotte and Sasha Banks.
The only wild card here is Paige, as she works better as a heel and could cost Charlotte the match. I personally think that's a terrible idea, as the "Diva's Revolution" has already been neutered by the WWE's generally awful booking, but it's dumb enough to have a realistic shot of happening. Regardless, Nikki has to drop her belt to a real wrestler at some point in the near future. Might as well be now.
Charlotte wins and maybe we get an actual revolution that starts with some intelligent booking.
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Seth Rollins Vs. Sting for the WWE Title
I'm torn about this match. From a business standpoint, it probably makes more sense for Sting to win the title and hold onto it for a couple of months to draw in viewers during football season. From a booking and creative standpoint, Sting has been stronger this entire feud, so Rollins should walk away with the win. From a moving forward standpoint, keeping the belt on Rollins makes more sense than having him drop it to a 56-year-old part-timer. I honestly don't know which direction the WWE will go, although they'll probably figure out the best way to fuck it all up.
I read a comment online somewhere that a fun outcome would be for Sting to win the title, then retire on Raw the following night, thus vacating the title. Triple H and Steph announce a tournament for the vacated title, but then Sheamus comes out and cashes in his briefcase. Since the title is vacated, he just takes the belt for free. That would honestly be the only clever and fun way to give Sheamus the belt. It won't happen, and I don't think Sting is going to retire before winning a match at Mania, but it would be clever.
Anyway, my personal best case scenario for this match is a Rollins face turn when Triple H turns on him, which should have happened during the Lesnar match. I've always thought the best way for the Authority to turn on Rollins would be to have him be losing a match, only for Triple H to come to the ring with his sledgehammer. Trips acts like he's going to get in the ring, then just shakes his head and lets Rollins get beat down. The problem is that I don't think that works all that well with Sting. It would have been perfect in a Lesnar match, but I just don't see Sting believably destroying Rollins. He could get a win, sure, but a beatdown? I'm not sold. Still, if they're content to have Sting walk away with the belt, now would be as good a time as any for Trips to turn on Rollins. That could lead to a Hell in a Cell match between Rollins and Triple H next month before Sting eventually drops the belt back to the now popular Rollins.
Second best scenario would be Sheamus cashing in the briefcase and losing to whoever picks up the win. That would be another nice way to get Rollins over. People love an underdog, and if Rollins has to fight his third match of the night and pulls off a win against Sheamus, the crowd will love him for it.
And while Sting winning would probably make the most sense financially, I'm going to go with Rollins to retain the title.
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Now we just kick back and see how the WWE fucks all of this up. Really, though, it's a pretty good card for a B-level PPV. There should be at least three or four great matches from that list.
