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MLB 2023 Post Season: Someone has to win it..

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Met Adolis Garcia at Shelby Farms Water Play Sprayground in Memphis in 2017.

My wife and I were visiting some of our friends who also had kids at the time, and it was late in the evening so there weren’t a lot of kids there.

Out of nowhere, we saw two athletic looking guys come in, take their shirts off and start running around the place like they owned it.

Scruffy looking blonde guy and the guy who later turned out to be Adolis.

My wife’s friend looked at the lifeguard who just started shaking her head and tipped her sunglasses down to watch.

Initially they were playing hide and seek on some of the equipment. The parents and kids are clearly getting upset just because they were so fast and aggressive. Blonde guy starts doing a really convincing apewalk as he chases the other one. But then they started feinting at little kids and pulling back like they were going to punch them to see if they’d flinch.

Next, Adolis lets out this shrill, high pitch shriek and runs through the water kicking it all over the place. Nothing from the lifeguard.

Next, the blonde guy makes the Tarzan yelp and leaps off of one of the structures into the water while the other one starts snapping after him like a crocodile. Now kids are screaming and crying. Water is going everywhere. People are starting to gather their stuff. Nothing from the lifeguards. My wife and I are totally befuddled.

Here’s where it gets dark.

Adolis catches the blonde guy and pushes him up against the fence where people were exiting. He pulls a pre-soaked Memphis Redbirds jersey out of a baseball bag, shakes it off, twists it and starts towel whipping the other guy’s ass repeatedly. Perfect snaps. Echoing around the place.

After the second snap Adolis lets out this inhuman war cry and then starts yelling in between each snap.

My (snap) call (snap) my (snap) ball. Understand?

The blonde guy falls to the ground in a heap and is audibly crying while people are just piling out of the place.

Finally, I walk up to the guy snapping and just said, “who are you?”

I’ll never forget the way he stared at me, eyes burning like hot coals. “My name is Adolis Garcia. One day I will be a professional baseball player. This scumbag stole a flyball from me earlier today and for that he must suffer the consequences.”

“Jesus,” I said

The blonde guy then looked up at me and said, “That’s right man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.”

Then they both started laughing hysterically and everyone clapped. The blonde guy was Harrison Bader.
 
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Pivotal game 2 goes to the small-ballers.
 
Adolis Garcia is a glorified and soon to be way overpaid Oscar Gonzalez, there I said it....

Edit: and he deserves all of it....
 
Tondo said:
Adolis Garcia is a glorified and soon to be way overpaid Oscar Gonzalez, there I said it....

Edit: and he deserves all of it....
Click to expand...
As Adolis has "matured".. he's continued his plus 30 percent strike out rate while maintaining or slightly improving on his 6-7 % walk rate.. In short.... he sees ball.. hits ball.. and when he does.. it flies.. He's a better defensive OF'er than Spongebob.. He would be an example of what to expect from Spongebob... including the brilliant moments where he is a star..

Thoughts?
 
Gson said:
As Adolis has "matured".. he's continued his plus 30 percent strike out rate while maintaining or slightly improving on his 6-7 % walk rate.. In short.... he sees ball.. hits ball.. and when he does.. it flies.. He's a better defensive OF'er than Spongebob.. He would be an example of what to expect from Spongebob... including the brilliant moments where he is a star..

Thoughts?
Click to expand...
Interesting comparison, but right now, Garcia and Spongebob are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Personally, I think the ship has sailed for OGon in Cleveland. He could be a lottery ticket in a trade, but he won't get another chance here to be a starter.
 
Be nice to see the Rangers win their 1st championship
 
Oh sh*t... Alek Thomas Bunkered it
 
Huge mistake by Thomas.. allows two runs to score.. Rangers on the precipice..
 
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