Start approaching women? How?

[Out of the Rafters at the Q]

That's good to know. Most of the women I see online nowadays tend toward asexual, have a lot of antipathy toward men, and make a lot of demands that most guys aren't willing to accommodate. Since we're on a forum of mostly dudes, in one sense I'm not surprised they're having trouble finding women who meet their specifications, because we're in an age where most non-religious women insist those specifications are antiquated, "boomer," or misogynist.

Maybe there are more women out there like your daughters, but they just don't have as vocal an online presence.

I will say--it's popular to share these sentiments online.

Talking to them in real life might yield different results.

Heck, there's a "Kill all men" podcast. Does the author actually want to kill all men? Of course not. But it's an edgy title that aligns with a lot of the anger and exasperation some women feel.

 

[Out of the Rafters at the Q]

I probably believe a little bit of what both sides believe, and my own stuff, but I'm not sure how serious five is with what he's saying.

I think there are behaviors women are attracted to and that people need to make sure they're not doing them. I think there are things to look for in partners. I think a relationship should be healthy. I think all of those lines blur at some point.

I got into some corey Wayne stuff and I do believe that this guy has some useful stuff for both finding people and building a healthy relationship while not losing them. Let your partner feel understood and loved, and also don't be unattractive.

It's very possible, guys, that you ended up in a good thing and are attributing being very skilled at something to a high success rate on a small sample size. Your girl was very very attracted to you and it afforded wiggle room, or whatever other unknown variables. There are a lot of people out there who aren't in those situations or haven't met the right person, or who don't have as even keeled a temperament or as secure or whatever the case may be and need some help. I don't have a problem with some of that

I think you're pretty close to the kernel of truth at the center of the conversation.

We haven't talked about it, but you're spot-on with the last paragraph. My vantage point is certainly "how to make a relationship successful" and not "how to attract the largest number of women and get the most options."

 

[Stark]

I have sex with a lot of women.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Maybe there are more women out there like your daughters, but they just don't have as vocal an online presence.

Sounds to me like there is a self-selection issue going on in those forums. If you're talking about forums in which:

Most of the women...tend toward asexual, have a lot of antipathy toward men, and make a lot of demands that most guys aren't willing to accommodate....

Then women who don't have antipathy towards men, aren't asexual, and don't make unreasonable demands likely aren't ever going to even find such places. They're too busy living their life that doesn't include those kind of hang-ups. And honestly, I think that latter group is the majority.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

I have sex with a lot of women.

Sisters, mother, and cousins don't count, buddy. Your name isn't Lannister, it's Stark.

 

[Sebastian]

Like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs?

Dude produced.

 

[Sebastian]

I have to say this thread has been fascinating from an anthropological point of view.

So many different approaches to the same thing.

And, I find the differences in how people approach all this most interesting.

Women seeking Men. Men seeking Women. Men seeking Men. Women seeking Women.

For friendship.

Or possibly more.

I have been on both sides of the equation and I must say that the differences between a man seeking a woman, and a man seeking a man, are not different yet completely different.

 

[KluberSociety]

Plus between work and the gym, I just don't have time.

Don't get me wrong, you don't want to be a blobfish, but you have some control over your schedule and if you're working out so much that it gets in the way of other things that help the relationship more, you only have yourself to blame. Just because you put a lot of effort into something doesn't mean that effort will be appreciated proportionately.

 

[Out of the Rafters at the Q]

I have to say this thread has been fascinating from an anthropological point of view.

So many different approaches to the same thing.

And, I find the differences in how people approach all this most interesting.

Women seeking Men. Men seeking Women. Men seeking Men. Women seeking Women.

For friendship.

Or possibly more.

I have been on both sides of the equation and I must say that the differences between a man seeking a woman, and a man seeking a man, are not different yet completely different.

Poster seeking admin for a good ol fashioned assfucking.

My twink ass is ready to be broken in. Thank TheLand for sorting me out.

 

[HammerGold]

People aren't worse because they've had sex with people other than you.

Stop dragging your knuckles. You're scuffing the floor.

If you don't mind a partner who's had double digit sexual partners more power to you, you don't need to get upset that other men feel differently.

This is getting a little deeper but not wanting a female with a lot partners seems like a pretty natural feeling. There are some enlightened people out there who always feel we can over come basic human nature being enlightened or an intellectual or whatever. But I'm not that enlightened, I still follow a basic feeling in my gut that when a girl has had too many partners I'm turned off. I didn't need to hear that from someone on twitter.

 

[Out of the Rafters at the Q]

If you don't mind a partner who's had double digit sexual partners more power to you, you don't need to get upset that other men feel differently.

If you think that means anything, I'd ask you to explain why. Other than the fact that they'd be better at sex with you, I fail to see how it's relevant.

This is getting a little deeper but not wanting a female with a lot partners seems like a pretty natural feeling.

No. You're justifying your irrational behavior by saying it's "natural." Not only is that completely irrelevant, but there is absolutely no basis for doing so.

There are some enlightened people out there who always feel we can over come basic human nature being enlightened or an intellectual or whatever. But I'm not that enlightened, I still follow a basic feeling in my gut that when a girl has had too many partners I'm turned off. I didn't need to hear that from someone on twitter.

You've referenced number of sexual partners many times now, and it's always putting down women because of this number--never saying anything about men. What are your thoughts about men who have slept with lots of women?

 

[David.]

If you don't mind a partner who's had double digit sexual partners more power to you, you don't need to get upset that other men feel differently.

This is getting a little deeper but not wanting a female with a lot partners seems like a pretty natural feeling. There are some enlightened people out there who always feel we can over come basic human nature being enlightened or an intellectual or whatever. But I'm not that enlightened, I still follow a basic feeling in my gut that when a girl has had too many partners I'm turned off. I didn't need to hear that from someone on twitter.

I was curious as to why people were so against it (past just a general - and don't take this for anything other than the dictionary definition, but -irrational knee jerk reasons), and the steel man I saw was that those women don't bond with mates as well.

Just my anecdotes, but the two women in my history that have been with the most bonded the best with partners. The two that bonded the least slept with the least. The most "wifey"able did what you would think is probably the sluttiest stuff of all and she was with less than ten people. People that bond the best end up establishing the most connections. Doesn't that make sense?

Outside of that, that number provided just so little context. The number has nothing to do with you personally, ts in the past. I get trying to extrapolate a data point and make a determination on their temperament based on that data but there are just too many variables to consider when looking at a number like that.

I'm not going to demean you or flame you or anything.

why is that specifically an issue to you? I'm 35 years old and have been single half my adult life on average. I don't go around hunting ass and say no a lot and I've still put up a number that you'd think was disgusting if I was a woman.

And I'm a guy. Women have quite literally an exponential amount of attention and suitors and situations where they are approached and chased after. Those numbers just accumulate over time. If someone sleeps with a few people before finding theit next partner and each relationship lasts 2-3 years you're talking about 15 people or so by the time theyre 30

 

[Out of the Rafters at the Q]

I was curious as to why people were so against it (past just a general - and don't take this for anything other than the dictionary definition, but -irrational knee jerk reasons), and the steel man I saw was that those women don't bond with mates as well.

Just my anecdotes, but the two women in my history that have been with the most bonded the best with partners. The two that bonded the least slept with the least.People that bond the best end up establishing the most connections. Doesn't that make sense?

Outside of that, that number provided just so little context. The number has nothing to do with you personally, ts in the past. I get trying to extrapolate a data point and make a determination on their temperament based on that data but there are just too many variables to consider when looking at a number like that.

I'm not going to demean you or flame you or anything, but why is that specifically an issue to you? I'm 35 years old and have been single half my adult life on average. I don't go around hunting ass and say no a lot and I've still put up a number that you'd think was disgusting if I was a woman.

And I'm a guy. Women have quite lit rallt an exponential amount of attention and suitors and situations where they are approached and chased after. Those numbers just accumulate over time. If someone sleeps with a few people before finding theit next partner and each relationship lasts 2-3 years you're talking about 15 people or so by the time their 30

I'll put forward my assumptions until we get some enlightenment on the issue.

I think it's because he's not a woman who's had a lot of sexual partners and it feels good to put down people who aren't like you.

I also just think that's a general feeling that's responsible for a huge amount of human suffering over our history and it sucks.

I look forward to @HammerGold actually answering the question with careful thought that makes me look like the ignorant fool I am on this topic.

 

[David.]

I'll put forward my assumptions until we get some enlightenment on the issue.

I think it's because he's not a woman who's had a lot of sexual partners and it feels good to put down people who aren't like you.

I also just think that's a general feeling that's responsible for a huge amount of human suffering over our history and it sucks.

I look forward to @HammerGold actually answering the question with careful thought that makes me look like the ignorant fool I am on this topic.

If that's the case I get it and I'm not going to shit on the guy.

I do understand that its tough being a guy-espeixially when younger and who haven't experienced many women on an actual person level and seen how hurt they get and struggle etc, and when you're fresh out of a relationship with someone who was toxic to/for you. There's a reason why Andrew tate and the various pua and subreddits get traction, there are a lot of disenfranchised guys that see they got dealt, comparatively, a bad hand.

I think deradicalizing them is probably a good idea for them on an individual level and for the whole rather than having them dig their heels in. Our little bros are out there and they need healing and some compassion and advice

 

[HammerGold]

I'll put forward my assumptions until we get some enlightenment on the issue.

I think it's because he's not a woman who's had a lot of sexual partners and it feels good to put down people who aren't like you.

I also just think that's a general feeling that's responsible for a huge amount of human suffering over our history and it sucks.

I look forward to @HammerGold actually answering the question with careful thought that makes me look like the ignorant fool I am on this topic.

I didn't insult you about it, I just questioned why you'd care if it was important to other men (to many it is.) It just goes back to a basic feeling that the rarer something is, the more value it has.


"If pussy was a stock right now the value would be plummeting because you've flooded the market with it."

Regarding the men vs women thing. Yeah there's a double standard. I've had like 20 partners but would insist a serious gf be like 7 or 8 max. Men and women aren't the same, I'm fine with that.