How did it effect your marriage
ADHD is a burden on your spouse.. there is shit you do without even knowing it that poisons the well. Then she reacts, and you misread it.
It's best to read the book.. but the 30 second version:
Having ADHD is like living your life with a giant spotlight on your forehead.. whatever you are looking at is more brighly lit than everything else.. in early stages this makes you mr wonderful. The relationship is in the spotlight and it has your full attention..
But later, when something else is in the spotlight like kids or work.. you are distant and out of touch..
If she assigns you a task, which will happen, at some point you will forget and that will repeat.. you will be in and out of the doghouse, unreliable and so on..
At the same time you are sensitive to criticism, because it's happened your whole life.. you let people down, because you experience time differently, and because you are easily distracted.
So when she starts in, you are prone to depression, and withdrawal..
Also, when dealing with ADHD, you develop strategies to cope, even if you dont know your doing it.. while these may be useful on your own they may not be good for relationships..
So this is the basic, but read the book if you or your spouse have it.. And get counseling. It helps..
I do not take the meds. My youngest is severe, and took vivance for a while, but has stopped. My oldest has it too, but he is Mormon, which requires him to reflect a lot, which helps him stay focused..
Symptoms: if you are smarter than most people but your grades aren't the best, you might be ADHD. If people think you are forgetful, you are late to meetings or forget appointments, guess what...
If your significant other says to you.. I told you I needed you to (fill in the blank) and you weren't listening..again! You might be one of us.