Drug addiction/sobriety

[David.]

Dave, I have done jail time for two weeks for possession of steroids in 2009. Fuck the roid head who turned me in for something he was doing himself. Anyhow, i had three misdemeanors from that case, and all three were wiped from my record after a year through the expungement process. I have never had an issue getting a job since then. I panicked too when was facing jail time, and I did face it, but I picked myself back up, finish my degree at the time, and even go on to get a master's degree.

Finish that degree, Dave. You will regret it if you don't. Make a success plan, and execute it. We are here for you

Different cases.. Appreciate the support.

I've lost my chance expungement of the first, the second will be sealed.

Steroids isn't viewed as a crime of moral turpitude.. I'm mine is and I'm getting into handling ppls financials

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Dude thkthis job is a nightmare. It's so fucking slow, so you just wait in the car with nothing to do. I completely understand why I would get high to do this.

Right. I mean, if I'm going to do something where I might have periods of inactivity, the first thing that pops into my mind is "yeah, guess I'll have to be high to do that."

That is one crappy lame-ass excuse. Seriously. How about just reading something?. There are a million other things to do at a boring job other than going into it high.

 

[Lee]

Different cases.. Appreciate the support.

I've lost my chance expungement of the first, the second will be sealed.

Steroids isn't viewed as a crime of moral turpitude.. I'm mine is and I'm getting into handling ppls financials

If you dont have a felony you can do what i do which is mortgages, I also believe you can have a series 7 with misdemeanor drug charges too, but been too long since i took the test to know.

The issue is those are both desk jobs and 50% of the people who do this take Adderal, not sure the finance industry would help you get off drugs, it would put you around it.

I still think Plumber/Electrician would be a good option. Use your intellect to learn the trade, then use it to start your own company int he trade.

 

[David.]

Right. I mean, if I'm going to do something where I might have periods of inactivity, the first thing that pops into my mind is "yeah, guess I'll have to be high to do that."

That is one crappy lame-ass excuse. Seriously. How about just reading something?. There are a million other things to do at a boring job other than going into it high.

Eh go sit in a car for 3 hours of no conversation, anywhere from 8pm to 3am.

Can't just read , you're looking for fares and driving.

Half an Adderal to make.. Anything interesting? Ya I understand that.

I've been in jail now, it's not much different. You can at least talk t people in jail and strategize. This is being forced to watch paint dry

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Eh go sit in a car for 3 hours with no one to talk to at 12am

Can't just , you're looking for fares.

Then get books on tape. Listen to music and sing. Figure out something, David. Work on some other plan or idea. Do what all the other people do who have jobs like that and don't smoke pot while doing it. Take up guitar and practice in the car. Anything.

But don't invent excuses for yourself to use, or you'll just keep on doing it. Seriously -- you're better than that. And I can say that because anyone is better than that.

 

[David.]

Then get books on tape. Listen to music and sing. Figure out something, David. Work on some other plan or idea. Do what all the other people do who have jobs like that and don't smoke pot while doing it. Take up guitar and practice in the car. Anything.

But don't invent excuses for yourself to use, or you'll just keep on doing it. Seriously -- you're better than that. And I can say that because anyone is better than that.

I genuinely have add. It's not a conducive environment.

Look at the last three pages, I'm looking for alternatives.

It's literally half of one Adderal, and I DON'T want to take it.

I also don't have a career anymore so I'd prefer not to be homeless.

I'm not sitting here fighting urges. I have no desire to take anything. The job is unbearable

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

I genuinely have add. It's not a conducive environment.

Look at the last three pages, I'm looking for alternatives.

Guitar. Books on tape. Buy a cheap keyboard and teach yourself that. There's three.

 

[David.]

Guitar. Books on tape. Buy a cheap keyboard and teach yourself that. There's three.

Playing musical instruments while driving is not reasonable.

Again I have no desire to take anything, I'm looking for other work. Some things are out of the realm of being reasonable.

I have no urge to take anything. Half of an Adderal has never triggered Any sort of event

 

[David.]

If you dont have a felony you can do what i do which is mortgages, I also believe you can have a series 7 with misdemeanor drug charges too, but been too long since i took the test to know.

The issue is those are both desk jobs and 50% of the people who do this take Adderal, not sure the finance industry would help you get off drugs, it would put you around it.

I still think Plumber/Electrician would be a good option. Use your intellect to learn the trade, then use it to start your own company int he trade.

Good info.

I had a passenger who sells solar, meeting with her tomorrow.

She has no phone team, and I would fucking love to train one. And I doubt this Is accurate but she said close rate is 20%. I MIGHT sel go sell again if that's true.

A guy on my block pulled in in an adt van. Sounds flexible, efficiently lucrative and never in the same spot for too long.

I just need a plan for the next two years. I think I can get back in to my profession at that point

 

[Maximus]

You say you can sell. Sell yourself. Become a personal trainer for cougars at their homes. Do one on one classes or groups. You would be keeping yourself busy...you would be working out which you enjoy to do. You are also meeting and talking to different people, possibly finding new opportunities and connections. After a few years of fuc...training...some hot bitches, they will invest and help you open a gym.

 

[David.]

You say you can sell. Sell yourself. Become a personal trainer for cougars at their homes. Do one on one classes or groups. You would be keeping yourself busy...you would be working out which you enjoy to do. You are also meeting and talking to different people, possibly finding new opportunities and connections. After a few years of fuc...training...some hot bitches, they will invest and help you open a gym.

That's definitely on the list.

I swore off sales a few years ago. I get too invested in winning, beating numbers, etc. But if I can actually help people and believe in my product, maybe I don't care as much about winning and numbers.

 

[Man Called X]

That's definitely on the list.

I swore off sales a few years ago. I get too invested in winning, beating numbers, etc. But if I can actually help people and believe in my product, maybe I don't care as much about winning and numbers.

I'm honestly beyond surprised you haven't been a personal trainer before.

Really think you ought to look into it.

 

[David.]

I'm honestly beyond surprised you haven't been a personal trainer before.

Really think you ought to look into it.

Thanks bud. Oddly been thinking about you lately.

Lots of apologies to go around. I'll do an update today

 

[David.]

Update:

I feel like progress is stalling. I've had one screw up in the last 1.5 months, but life is more than that, obviously.

I'm.. FEINDING for female attention. I get a good amount, but it's literally never enough. I only feel ok immediately after I get it, and then I feel empty and worthless. I just had two prior co-workers (one married) like shirtless pics and throw winky faces and tell me ..I've grown up.. And all I can think about is that I'm alone and not attractive enough. Unless everyone is giving that approval, there's a hole in the soul. I've had a different girl make interest known almost every day for last couple weeks and self esteem is somehow dropping. Back to big picture..

I talk to everything that moves. I literally went weeks without talking to anyone just a couple months ago. That's all great. I helped an older handicapped man carry his groceries to his car today, and had an hour long conversation with a friend I stumbled upon at a gas station that was as good of friends with Carl (passed away from cancer) as I was.

We went on about altruism, and where we both were in life. He wasn't well. I gave him five bucks.

I'm active all day long. From work, to errands, to the gym, to the basketball court, to the dog park.

I've apolofized to a handful of people. Some who have done awful things. It's freeing. Making amends relieves you of any guilt, and erases another negative thing your mind can wander to and obsess about.

But none of this feels like it's enough.

I have nothing tangible to show for anything. My biological clock is blaring. I haven't been single in like.. Six years. I need actual female companionship. Not just sex, but.. All of that. I've never been ok single. Feel worthless. Like life doesn't matter.

The Adderal was only bad because it ramped up my issue with sex. drugs were the catalyst, sex and girls were the actual thick of it. Female attention, affection and everything in between has always been the bigger issue.

 

[David.]

Also related

My ambien is not working. It's only meant to sedate you for the first three hours, and by time it wears off, you're already asleep.

It might have been stress from..what happened, but fit the last week, I'd immediately wake up after it wore off.

Trying to ween myself off it now.

I'm also having more panic attacks lately.. Triggered mostly by dog stuff, legal issues.. If I think too hard about the future.. I broke down in public yesterday after finding myself at a pier on the beach, where I went with my ex for the first time. I had forgotten all about it until I was there, remembering in trembling monolithic anxiety.

But I'm rarely taking meds for any of it. Anxiety is good to know how to deal with on your own. I took half a clonopin yesterday and it just got worse, so I might as well not take any.