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2017 tank thread
- Thread starter The Wizard of Moz
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Hurl Bruce
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View: https://twitter.com/SInow/status/940953737736130560
Even more money to not spend for 2018~!!!!!! Tank it on and on and on!!!!
Even more money to not spend for 2018~!!!!!! Tank it on and on and on!!!!
The Wizard of Moz
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The Tank Inquirer- Week 15
Obscenely Late Surprise Edition
Standings
Red indicates that the team's SOS increased over the last week which hurts their tiebreaker. Green indicates the team's SOS decreased over the last week which helps the tiebreaker.
Alright first things first. I said last week after Sashi was fired that the Tank Inquirer actually takes me a bit of time to put together and that the Browns weren't worth my time. And I stand by that. Last week was the first time in 10 years I haven't watched the Browns game. But the Browns aren't hurt by the Tank Inquirer discontinuing as they don't even know it exists. But you guys are. And while the Browns aren't worth any of our time right now, this forum is and I know enough of you enjoy the Inquirer so I will finish it out because this forum is worth my time.
End sappy speech, begin tank analyzation
Another fantastic week for the tank and the Thursday night game bumped our Texans pick into the top 5. Last week's game of the week was the 49ers Texans game and with the 49ers win we got that great double win for the tank. The 49ers are now practically uncatchable by the Browns with their 3rd win as we would need to win out paired with the 9ers losing out just to have a chance at them jumping us. Even moreso, the 49ers now have a legitimate chance at getting jumped by our Texans pick. Wouldn't that be wild. Our biggest tank competition these last few years ends up picking after both of our first round picks. What a time to be alive. 49ers get the Titans and Jags at home before finishing the season at the LA Rams.
The Texans have the Jags on the road, host the Stools, and finish up with a huge matchup at Indy. Yates will be the starter for at least this week which largely won't matter given their brutal next two weeks, but could certainly play a factor against Indy as Yates has shown he will just spam the Hopkins button and Hopkins continues to show just how large his cock is week in and week out. I feel the Texans pick is quite safe for the next 2 weeks before a yuge matchup with Indy that could prove to be huge for the final slotting of the pick. I've pretty much given up on the pick being top 3, but there is a very real chance it slots at 4.
As for our own pick, we have officially clinched a top 4 pick with last week's loss! Again, I know some people may take these things for granted, but there's always a chance we Mangini things up to end the season. Now we know the absolute worst case scenario is we end up picking 4th and it is wildly unlikely.
With a loss this week against the Ratbirds we would clinch a top 2 pick in the draft. We can actually clinch the top pick in the draft this week with a Browns loss and a Giants win at home vs. a Wentzless Eagles. Isn't that wild
Last week was a much needed loss. Like I said I didn't watch, but I heard we blew it in laughable fashion which is exactly what was needed. A win against the Packers sans Aaron Rodgets to improve to 1-12 being the difference between our first pick at QB and getting the second crack after the Giants would have been such a kick in the ol' cock. If we are going to win I want it to at least fuck over the Ratbirds playoff chances or fuck with the Stools homefield advantage. Speaking of which that was another reason this loss was huge. If Pitt beats New England there is a really good chance they end up resting players against us week 17. We can't count on Crowell to put the tank on his back again and save the day. We have to leave some cushion for that win in there.
Also great news, both the Browns and Texans SOS took a massive hit last weekend with the Texans SOS falling by 1.6%. This is huge because with 2 other 4 win teams and 4 5 win teams a Texans win could send us sliding down a bit. Having a weakened SOS would lessen the blow.
Game of the Week
Divisional game at home against a team that pretty much lost the MVP at by far the most important position a week ago. If the Giants were ever to steal a lopsidedly talent mismatch game it'd be this one.
As I said above we can actually clinch the top pick in the draft with a loss and Giants win this week. The Giants are the lone threat remaining (realistically) to us not getting the top pick. I'd much rather the Giants just win a game than our fate rest on Mitch Trubisky and/or Landry Jones. And definitely don't want it to come down to the tiebreaker. Go G-Men!
Other games to keep an eye on
Ravens @ Browns
I will never nor could I ever root for the Rats. We get one free win and I'm picking this one to actually root for the Browns. I can't fucking stand this illigitimate team. We could put a huge thorn in their playoff hopes with a win so for the first time in a long time go Brawns
Bears @ Lions
Breathing room for our Texans pick.
Titans @ 49ers
For the chance to jump up to pick 4.gif "Fnd (16) :fnd (16):")
Goodbye, Old Friend
I feel a certain rivalry with the 49ers that I'm sure almost no one in the NFL could understand but fellow tank enthusiasts. With the Breathard injury Garapollo has them playing competitive ball winning 2 in a row and for the first time in years basically becomming a tank afterthought. Is this the beginning of a new main rival in our never ending annual tank?
I believe so. I think the 49ers have left the tank treadmill. In a way, I'm happy for them. But it also gets lonely at the bottom. They were a rival, but also a friend.
Obscenely Late Surprise Edition
Standings
Red indicates that the team's SOS increased over the last week which hurts their tiebreaker. Green indicates the team's SOS decreased over the last week which helps the tiebreaker.
Alright first things first. I said last week after Sashi was fired that the Tank Inquirer actually takes me a bit of time to put together and that the Browns weren't worth my time. And I stand by that. Last week was the first time in 10 years I haven't watched the Browns game. But the Browns aren't hurt by the Tank Inquirer discontinuing as they don't even know it exists. But you guys are. And while the Browns aren't worth any of our time right now, this forum is and I know enough of you enjoy the Inquirer so I will finish it out because this forum is worth my time.
End sappy speech, begin tank analyzation
Another fantastic week for the tank and the Thursday night game bumped our Texans pick into the top 5. Last week's game of the week was the 49ers Texans game and with the 49ers win we got that great double win for the tank. The 49ers are now practically uncatchable by the Browns with their 3rd win as we would need to win out paired with the 9ers losing out just to have a chance at them jumping us. Even moreso, the 49ers now have a legitimate chance at getting jumped by our Texans pick. Wouldn't that be wild. Our biggest tank competition these last few years ends up picking after both of our first round picks. What a time to be alive. 49ers get the Titans and Jags at home before finishing the season at the LA Rams.
The Texans have the Jags on the road, host the Stools, and finish up with a huge matchup at Indy. Yates will be the starter for at least this week which largely won't matter given their brutal next two weeks, but could certainly play a factor against Indy as Yates has shown he will just spam the Hopkins button and Hopkins continues to show just how large his cock is week in and week out. I feel the Texans pick is quite safe for the next 2 weeks before a yuge matchup with Indy that could prove to be huge for the final slotting of the pick. I've pretty much given up on the pick being top 3, but there is a very real chance it slots at 4.
As for our own pick, we have officially clinched a top 4 pick with last week's loss! Again, I know some people may take these things for granted, but there's always a chance we Mangini things up to end the season. Now we know the absolute worst case scenario is we end up picking 4th and it is wildly unlikely.
With a loss this week against the Ratbirds we would clinch a top 2 pick in the draft. We can actually clinch the top pick in the draft this week with a Browns loss and a Giants win at home vs. a Wentzless Eagles. Isn't that wild
Last week was a much needed loss. Like I said I didn't watch, but I heard we blew it in laughable fashion which is exactly what was needed. A win against the Packers sans Aaron Rodgets to improve to 1-12 being the difference between our first pick at QB and getting the second crack after the Giants would have been such a kick in the ol' cock. If we are going to win I want it to at least fuck over the Ratbirds playoff chances or fuck with the Stools homefield advantage. Speaking of which that was another reason this loss was huge. If Pitt beats New England there is a really good chance they end up resting players against us week 17. We can't count on Crowell to put the tank on his back again and save the day. We have to leave some cushion for that win in there.
Also great news, both the Browns and Texans SOS took a massive hit last weekend with the Texans SOS falling by 1.6%. This is huge because with 2 other 4 win teams and 4 5 win teams a Texans win could send us sliding down a bit. Having a weakened SOS would lessen the blow.
The strength of schedules are calculated over the team's entire schedule not just their schedule to date. If you see a strength of schedule quoted in another article, or if another article has a different draft order, it is very likely because they calculated their strength of schedule using schedule to date. There is much more week to week variance for using schedule to date because if you end up playing the Eagles or the Browns then your strength of schedule based on schedule to date will take a huge swing by adding that additional game. For that reason I use full schedule to calculate SOS
I currently only did SOS for teams with 4 or less wins. If the Texans unfortunately win again I will add all 5 win teams at that time and so on
I currently only did SOS for teams with 4 or less wins. If the Texans unfortunately win again I will add all 5 win teams at that time and so on
Game of the Week
Divisional game at home against a team that pretty much lost the MVP at by far the most important position a week ago. If the Giants were ever to steal a lopsidedly talent mismatch game it'd be this one.
As I said above we can actually clinch the top pick in the draft with a loss and Giants win this week. The Giants are the lone threat remaining (realistically) to us not getting the top pick. I'd much rather the Giants just win a game than our fate rest on Mitch Trubisky and/or Landry Jones. And definitely don't want it to come down to the tiebreaker. Go G-Men!
Other games to keep an eye on
Ravens @ Browns
I will never nor could I ever root for the Rats. We get one free win and I'm picking this one to actually root for the Browns. I can't fucking stand this illigitimate team. We could put a huge thorn in their playoff hopes with a win so for the first time in a long time go Brawns
Bears @ Lions
Breathing room for our Texans pick.
Titans @ 49ers
For the chance to jump up to pick 4
Goodbye, Old Friend
I feel a certain rivalry with the 49ers that I'm sure almost no one in the NFL could understand but fellow tank enthusiasts. With the Breathard injury Garapollo has them playing competitive ball winning 2 in a row and for the first time in years basically becomming a tank afterthought. Is this the beginning of a new main rival in our never ending annual tank?
I believe so. I think the 49ers have left the tank treadmill. In a way, I'm happy for them. But it also gets lonely at the bottom. They were a rival, but also a friend.
The Wizard of Moz
Punishing This Air
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Triplethreat
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Dog fight in Philly!
Eli looking to cement himself in the Cleveland Browns HoF with a monster win.
Eli looking to cement himself in the Cleveland Browns HoF with a monster win.
Scholar
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The Tank Inquirer- Week 15
Obscenely Late Surprise Edition
Standings
Red indicates that the team's SOS increased over the last week which hurts their tiebreaker. Green indicates the team's SOS decreased over the last week which helps the tiebreaker.
Alright first things first. I said last week after Sashi was fired that the Tank Inquirer actually takes me a bit of time to put together and that the Browns weren't worth my time. And I stand by that. Last week was the first time in 10 years I haven't watched the Browns game. But the Browns aren't hurt by the Tank Inquirer discontinuing as they don't even know it exists. But you guys are. And while the Browns aren't worth any of our time right now, this forum is and I know enough of you enjoy the Inquirer so I will finish it out because this forum is worth my time.
End sappy speech, begin tank analyzation
Another fantastic week for the tank and the Thursday night game bumped our Texans pick into the top 5. Last week's game of the week was the 49ers Texans game and with the 49ers win we got that great double win for the tank. The 49ers are now practically uncatchable by the Browns with their 3rd win as we would need to win out paired with the 9ers losing out just to have a chance at them jumping us. Even moreso, the 49ers now have a legitimate chance at getting jumped by our Texans pick. Wouldn't that be wild. Our biggest tank competition these last few years ends up picking after both of our first round picks. What a time to be alive. 49ers get the Titans and Jags at home before finishing the season at the LA Rams.
The Texans have the Jags on the road, host the Stools, and finish up with a huge matchup at Indy. Yates will be the starter for at least this week which largely won't matter given their brutal next two weeks, but could certainly play a factor against Indy as Yates has shown he will just spam the Hopkins button and Hopkins continues to show just how large his cock is week in and week out. I feel the Texans pick is quite safe for the next 2 weeks before a yuge matchup with Indy that could prove to be huge for the final slotting of the pick. I've pretty much given up on the pick being top 3, but there is a very real chance it slots at 4.
As for our own pick, we have officially clinched a top 4 pick with last week's loss! Again, I know some people may take these things for granted, but there's always a chance we Mangini things up to end the season. Now we know the absolute worst case scenario is we end up picking 4th and it is wildly unlikely.
With a loss this week against the Ratbirds we would clinch a top 2 pick in the draft. We can actually clinch the top pick in the draft this week with a Browns loss and a Giants win at home vs. a Wentzless Eagles. Isn't that wild
Last week was a much needed loss. Like I said I didn't watch, but I heard we blew it in laughable fashion which is exactly what was needed. A win against the Packers sans Aaron Rodgets to improve to 1-12 being the difference between our first pick at QB and getting the second crack after the Giants would have been such a kick in the ol' cock. If we are going to win I want it to at least fuck over the Ratbirds playoff chances or fuck with the Stools homefield advantage. Speaking of which that was another reason this loss was huge. If Pitt beats New England there is a really good chance they end up resting players against us week 17. We can't count on Crowell to put the tank on his back again and save the day. We have to leave some cushion for that win in there.
Also great news, both the Browns and Texans SOS took a massive hit last weekend with the Texans SOS falling by 1.6%. This is huge because with 2 other 4 win teams and 4 5 win teams a Texans win could send us sliding down a bit. Having a weakened SOS would lessen the blow.
The strength of schedules are calculated over the team's entire schedule not just their schedule to date. If you see a strength of schedule quoted in another article, or if another article has a different draft order, it is very likely because they calculated their strength of schedule using schedule to date. There is much more week to week variance for using schedule to date because if you end up playing the Eagles or the Browns then your strength of schedule based on schedule to date will take a huge swing by adding that additional game. For that reason I use full schedule to calculate SOS
I currently only did SOS for teams with 4 or less wins. If the Texans unfortunately win again I will add all 5 win teams at that time and so on
Game of the Week
Divisional game at home against a team that pretty much lost the MVP at by far the most important position a week ago. If the Giants were ever to steal a lopsidedly talent mismatch game it'd be this one.
As I said above we can actually clinch the top pick in the draft with a loss and Giants win this week. The Giants are the lone threat remaining (realistically) to us not getting the top pick. I'd much rather the Giants just win a game than our fate rest on Mitch Trubisky and/or Landry Jones. And definitely don't want it to come down to the tiebreaker. Go G-Men!
Other games to keep an eye on
Ravens @ Browns
I will never nor could I ever root for the Rats. We get one free win and I'm picking this one to actually root for the Browns. I can't fucking stand this illigitimate team. We could put a huge thorn in their playoff hopes with a win so for the first time in a long time go Brawns
Bears @ Lions
Breathing room for our Texans pick.
Titans @ 49ers
For the chance to jump up to pick 4
Goodbye, Old Friend
I feel a certain rivalry with the 49ers that I'm sure almost no one in the NFL could understand but fellow tank enthusiasts. With the Breathard injury Garapollo has them playing competitive ball winning 2 in a row and for the first time in years basically becomming a tank afterthought. Is this the beginning of a new main rival in our never ending annual tank?
I believe so. I think the 49ers have left the tank treadmill. In a way, I'm happy for them. But it also gets lonely at the bottom. They were a rival, but also a friend.
An absolutely fun and brilliant piece once again. Just two weeks left to go now. Tanks for the memories.
Pick6
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Seems to me the Browns clinched the #1 pick today even if they were to win the last 2 games by some miracle. Haven't done the math, but the Giants currently have a stronger SOS of .529 compared to the Browns .513. Each team's last game is against a divisional opponent, so if the Browns were to win vs Pitt it would count twice in their favor towards the SOS and if the Giants were to lose to the Redskins it would count twice against them.
Last edited:
Wulfgar1224
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The Steelers loss to the Pats means they will likely have to play their starters the final week against the Browns. Jax is only a game back and has the tiebreaker. I'm sure the Steelers would want the bye week. They could still get HF if the Pats lose. So, there is that as well. For people that want the Browns to lose, yesterday worked out well.
Huber.
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Ob1
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Do the math you SOB (I'm too lazy).
Ohio
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Yes, I need to know whether I can start actually rooting for the Browns to win or not
@The Wizard of Moz
@The Wizard of Moz
Pick6
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Too much work. Loosely looking at it (and don't count on my math even though I'm a CPA), I figured out that there are 256 games that count towards SOS (16 games times * 16 opponents). If Browns were to win out, it would count double weighted towards the Steelers SOS, so that would be 3 out of 256. Each game has a weight of 0.39%. So in that case the Browns SOS would automatically be .4913 whereas the Giants SOS would automatically be at .53017 if they were to lose out (Redskins W would count twice against them). So without considering all other games, common opponents, etc, the Browns really have a 3.887% lead. Divide that by 0.39% and the Giants would have to have a net "win" of 10 games out of the remaining 60 games that their opponents have left on their schedule. Quickly looking at it, I only count 2 common opponents (Chargers and Lions) so that is 4 games that would wash. So now we are looking at 56 games. Seems like at minimum their opponents need to go 26/56 and our opponents need to go 36/56 for them to get it. Then again there are built in wins/losses in there already with divisional match ups.
To sum it up: Definitely in our favor, but too much damn work to exactly pin down. Not to mention we are still down 2 games with 2 games left.