It's ridiculously hard to makes friends as an adult

[arglebargle]

Making friends as an adult just sucks. Really, I haven't made a new friend in years. Possibly decades. The friends I did once have are now - just like me - too busy with life. Kids, taking care of aging and sick parents, and so on. Social media is no real substitute. And I've found that this long into Covid now, people have taken to sharing less and less about themselves or their families. It doesn't help that I'm the classic introvert, and being around other people wear me the fuck out. It doesn't matter if it was a good or bad interaction.

Anyone else dealing with this? What do you do to address this in your life?

 

[JayP146]

Making friends as an adult just sucks. Really, I haven't made a new friend in years. Possibly decades. The friends I did once have are now - just like me - too busy with life. Kids, taking care of aging and sick parents, and so on. Social media is no real substitute. And I've found that this long into Covid now, people have taken to sharing less and less about themselves or their families. It doesn't help that I'm the classic introvert, and being around other people wear me the fuck out. It doesn't matter if it was a good or bad interaction.

Anyone else dealing with this? What do you do to address this in your life?

I just moved to new city after spending almost my entire life in NE Ohio. For context, I'm in my mid 30's, also introverted.

Bumble BFF (not the dating Bumble) has been a godsend. Heck, even if you're in a relationship, make a dating profile and specify you're only looking for friends. You'd be surprised how well it works.

 

[PIP]

I literally do not have this issue at all…. I moved from DC to Florida a little over a year ago and have a ton of new friends…

Some in fact are asking me to help them move crates and briefcases overnight on a weekly basis when they can’t do it….Amazing people.

They pay me for doing this all the time too… None of that “I’ll cash app ya later” bullshit either…. We’re talking non-sequential, unmarked bills… cold hard cash…

 

[Ohio]

I literally do not have this issue at all…. I moved from DC to Florida a little over a year ago and have a ton of new friends…

Some in fact are asking me to help them move crates and briefcases overnight on a weekly basis when they can’t do it….Amazing people.

They pay me for doing this all the time too… None of that “I’ll cash app ya later” bullshit either…. We’re talking non-sequential, unmarked bills… cold hard cash…

Pusha Pip

 

[Jack Brickman]

Making friends as an adult just sucks. Really, I haven't made a new friend in years. Possibly decades. The friends I did once have are now - just like me - too busy with life. Kids, taking care of aging and sick parents, and so on. Social media is no real substitute. And I've found that this long into Covid now, people have taken to sharing less and less about themselves or their families. It doesn't help that I'm the classic introvert, and being around other people wear me the fuck out. It doesn't matter if it was a good or bad interaction.

Anyone else dealing with this? What do you do to address this in your life?

Get a dog. Go to dog parks. Talk to people.

I’d say damn near 100% of the people I hang out with in Charlotte since moving here a decade ago at the age of 26 were met via one of my two boxers.

 

[AllforOne]

Get a dog. Go to dog parks. Talk to people.

This is solid advice right here. Dogs just naturally break down conversational barriers.

Aside from that ... I'll be interested in the other replies you receive. The last good friend I made was probably about 15 years ago.

 

[Ohio]

Join a sports league...I did this years ago and it made it pretty easy. Since then I've made some of the best friends I've ever had in my life.

 

[RonG]

Our friend circle got bigger by simply inviting current friends over and telling them to bring another friend or two with them, we did this for big days, like my wife's birthday or a big bbq outside, crawfish / shrimp boil ect.

 

[The Oi]

Making friends as an adult just sucks. Really, I haven't made a new friend in years. Possibly decades. The friends I did once have are now - just like me - too busy with life. Kids, taking care of aging and sick parents, and so on. Social media is no real substitute. And I've found that this long into Covid now, people have taken to sharing less and less about themselves or their families. It doesn't help that I'm the classic introvert, and being around other people wear me the fuck out. It doesn't matter if it was a good or bad interaction.

Anyone else dealing with this? What do you do to address this in your life?

Volunteer groups are good.

What hobbies and interests do you have? Go to events or things where they have those in your town. Other adults are having the same issue you are.

When you say people wear you out, what do you mean? When you meet people are you giving them the indication you want to be friends with them or are you giving them the indication they’re wearing you out?

I might know what you mean, but it’s hard to make friends if people you meet think they’re wearing you out. Know what I mean?

Also, what are you looking for in a friend at this point? Might sound like a dumb question, but expectations can be key.

 

[Lee]

Making friends as an adult just sucks. Really, I haven't made a new friend in years. Possibly decades. The friends I did once have are now - just like me - too busy with life. Kids, taking care of aging and sick parents, and so on. Social media is no real substitute. And I've found that this long into Covid now, people have taken to sharing less and less about themselves or their families. It doesn't help that I'm the classic introvert, and being around other people wear me the fuck out. It doesn't matter if it was a good or bad interaction.

Anyone else dealing with this? What do you do to address this in your life?

I just watch tv alone, masturbate and go to bed.

I also work from home, so that doesnt help

 

[Lee]

Get a dog. Go to dog parks. Talk to people.

I’d say damn near 100% of the people I hang out with in Charlotte since moving here a decade ago at the age of 26 were met via one of my two boxers.

I hear you can meet allot of bitches at dog parks.

 

[PIP]

I hear you can meet allot of bitches at dog parks.

That one took longer than expected

 

[WellYouNeednt]

Join a sports league...I did this years ago and it made it pretty easy. Since then I've made some of the best friends I've ever had in my life.

I don’t know — sounds pretty rough at times.

@David.

 

[Randolphkeys]

This is a really good thread, and needed. I always thought the movie "I Love You, Man" would age well because it tackles this topic with a good sense of humor.

I had a co-worker who was married, one teenage son, who sort of hinted at my future. Basically, when you have kids you can't drop everything to commit to a bonding trip, or prioritize parties, then eventually you settle into a life without a lot of friends. Once his son became old enough to have independence, dad kind of gets left out watching TV at home.

At the time, I didn't see it coming. Now a decade later, I get it. I have a few more years of my two sons actually wanting to hang out with me, so I try to enjoy the ride.

After they are teens, I'm fucked.

 

[KevinLoveFan]

Making friends as an adult just sucks. Really, I haven't made a new friend in years. Possibly decades. The friends I did once have are now - just like me - too busy with life. Kids, taking care of aging and sick parents, and so on. Social media is no real substitute. And I've found that this long into Covid now, people have taken to sharing less and less about themselves or their families. It doesn't help that I'm the classic introvert, and being around other people wear me the fuck out. It doesn't matter if it was a good or bad interaction.

Anyone else dealing with this? What do you do to address this in your life?

I've lost touch with most of the people I went to school and grew up with, except small handfuls on social media. I have 61 friends on Facebook, far fewer than most, and almost all of those 61 are friends and family. I spend most of my time with the husband and newborn. I often wonder what it would be like to have closer friends, but then I see this is a common thing in the social media and pandemic age, so I'm just grateful for the marriage and newborn these days. My mom was something of a hermit herself and stopped making friends in the 1990s, so it's probably genetic to an extent with me as well.