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No hijack here. This is a great discussion point.
I am at the end of a successful engineering career.. told from my point of view, so take it with a grain of salt.
I gravitated to engineering because I could do math, and because I had relatively low self esteem.. I needed to be able to prove I was right, as opposed to knowing that with confidence.. it's a pretty common thread amongst engineers and it feeds into the "my idea" culture. Engineering feels like a safe job, because projects are relatively ordered and make sense. But is an illusion of control. The key decisions that make or break your company are made in the boardroom, where few engineers go..
You have a lot going on personally and professionally. It's seems from your posts you suffer from anxiety being in front of people, which is right on brand for engineers.. We are all somewhere on the spectrum, and that same mental focus and struggle for order that makes us good at what we do, creates social problems both at work at at home..
You can get better at this by exposing yourself socially, which is exactly the most scary thing you can think of.. you should consider for example joining a speaking club like toastmasters once the pandemic eases.. it will do wonders for you.. joining a local community club is another thing to try.. Kiwana or similar.. When you go, think of it as an experiment.. not about what people think of you.. rather what kinds of people you see there, and think about how they operate... Observe and report in your head..
As for career choices, nine years in, you were passed over by Boss A in favor of Boss B. But both agree you are good at your job or they would not have given you a shot..My guess is that it's Boss A that is pulling you up..
you see yourself as an execution guy, but to be an effective boss, you have to switch to an expectations guy.. You have to be able to expect your team to do want you want. So number one you have to have a plan for what you want done, and the clearly communicate who you expect to do it and by when. But at the same time you have to recognize that your team won't do what you want just because you gave them an order. It's probably more true today than in previous generations that you have to get your team to share your vision so they will execute it. You do that by getting them to help build shape that vision. You listen, you challenge , then you stitch together your best judgement..
I have been both execution guy and manager.. I was very successful at managing, but personally it was less fun. I certainly made more money.. after 30 years I was pretty close to the top. I had stints in sales, operations, product design..But when I got there, what I saw was insanity. Decisions based on wrote strategies, a lack of understanding, and the results cost jobs, careers of good engineers..
I got out. I started my own consulting company and gave made that work.. It's scary, but I like it better.
I am at the end of a successful engineering career.. told from my point of view, so take it with a grain of salt.
I gravitated to engineering because I could do math, and because I had relatively low self esteem.. I needed to be able to prove I was right, as opposed to knowing that with confidence.. it's a pretty common thread amongst engineers and it feeds into the "my idea" culture. Engineering feels like a safe job, because projects are relatively ordered and make sense. But is an illusion of control. The key decisions that make or break your company are made in the boardroom, where few engineers go..
You have a lot going on personally and professionally. It's seems from your posts you suffer from anxiety being in front of people, which is right on brand for engineers.. We are all somewhere on the spectrum, and that same mental focus and struggle for order that makes us good at what we do, creates social problems both at work at at home..
You can get better at this by exposing yourself socially, which is exactly the most scary thing you can think of.. you should consider for example joining a speaking club like toastmasters once the pandemic eases.. it will do wonders for you.. joining a local community club is another thing to try.. Kiwana or similar.. When you go, think of it as an experiment.. not about what people think of you.. rather what kinds of people you see there, and think about how they operate... Observe and report in your head..
As for career choices, nine years in, you were passed over by Boss A in favor of Boss B. But both agree you are good at your job or they would not have given you a shot..My guess is that it's Boss A that is pulling you up..
you see yourself as an execution guy, but to be an effective boss, you have to switch to an expectations guy.. You have to be able to expect your team to do want you want. So number one you have to have a plan for what you want done, and the clearly communicate who you expect to do it and by when. But at the same time you have to recognize that your team won't do what you want just because you gave them an order. It's probably more true today than in previous generations that you have to get your team to share your vision so they will execute it. You do that by getting them to help build shape that vision. You listen, you challenge , then you stitch together your best judgement..
I have been both execution guy and manager.. I was very successful at managing, but personally it was less fun. I certainly made more money.. after 30 years I was pretty close to the top. I had stints in sales, operations, product design..But when I got there, what I saw was insanity. Decisions based on wrote strategies, a lack of understanding, and the results cost jobs, careers of good engineers..
I got out. I started my own consulting company and gave made that work.. It's scary, but I like it better.